Funny things you've overheard about beer

Gothgar said:

I was at Bevmo a few weeks back, and two guys were looking at beer as I normally do.

One guy was telling the other about IPA's and how"they lay you down", etc.

The only problem was, he was saying IPA as if it were a word, he pronounced it "eepah"

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Similar thing happened to me while in Peru a few months ago. I ordered a Greene King IPA and the bartender gave me a puzzled look, thought for a second, and then said "Oh, you mean an "eepah"?"

Shrugged my shoulders and said, "Yeah, give me one of those eepahs I've heard so much about."

Grossy said:

This was a quite a few years ago.

I was in a bar and asked what they had on tap the waitress rattlled off the generic:

Bud, Coors, Miller, and every version of Light, Ice, and Dry (what ever that is).

Then came Corona, Dos Equis, Killinans red, and Sam Adams.

She said domestics were $3.00 and that imports where $4.00.

I said I'll take a Sam Adams.

The bill came and it was $4.00 a beer. I said what gives? I ordered Sam Adams. She said that was an Import.

I said Sam Adams is made in Boston. She just looked puzzled, and said it was still an import.

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It pains me to have Killians and Blue Moon get the import tag. Becks is made in St Louis, but good luck getting it for "domestic" pricing.

american beer (non-craft etc.) is like makin love in a canoe,
its f#c%in close to water!!!!!!!!!

highgravitybacon said:

It pains me to have Killians and Blue Moon get the import tag. Becks is made in St Louis, but good luck getting it for "domestic" pricing.

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my neighbor drinks shiner beer. shiner beer is made in shiner, tx. here in texas, he has to pay import prices for a "beer" made in the same state. to keep on thread, his wife tells me she thinks my beer "tastes too much like beer", and doesn't drink it, even though she drinks a fair amount of keester... i mean keystone light

keeyster!:rockin:

I walked into a small convenience store on my way home from work. I looked at everything in their selection and decided to pick up two bombers. One from Stone and one from Rogue. The girl at the register wanted to make small talk...

Her: Hey.. my boyfriend loves Rogue! He loves microbrews!
Me: Yeah... Rogue's great, along with Stone.
Her: There's actually a German beer here that he really liked.
Me: WHAT!? Where?! I looked at EVERYTHING here.
Her: I'll show you...

She led me right to Rogue's Irish Lager. I smiled, said no thanks, paid for my two bombers, and got out of there

I brought a couple growlers of my Black IPA (CDA) over to my buddy's house for a Christmas party.

Everybody loved it, then my buddy's ******* older brother chimed in and said; "wow this is too bitter for a porter. I think you got to many air bubbles in your hops and ruined them during the boil." I looked at him and said please elaborate, so I don't make that mistake again. He said, "every brewer knows you gotta keep air bubbles out of your hops while they're boiling." I said "holy crap I did not know that, and to think I've been brewing for 15 years now and nobody has ever bothered to tell me this!" I thanked him for the info and asked him how long he's been brewing. He said, "well I haven't brewed yet but me and a buddy were thinking about getting into it."

Needless to say everybody thought he was a jackass.

morticus said:

He said, "every brewer knows you gotta keep air bubbles out of your hops while they're boiling."

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Every good brewer knows you need to keep a hop de-aeration stone in the boil. Geez!:smack:

My wife and I went into a bar and ordered a meal and two beers. I find around here the only thing I'm likely to enjoy on tap in most places is Guinness so I ordered one. My wife ordered a Budweiser as usual. When they brought the beers my wife's Bud was very cloudy and when she tasted it she told me it didn't taste right. I tasted it and it was a hefeweizen. It was a heck of a lot better than Bud, but she wanted her choice. I called the bartender over and told him he poured the wrong beer for my wife. He said he didn't and that he had pulled it from the correct tap. I told him then he must have his lines crossed or something because the glass did not have Bud. He walked over to the taps grabbed the one obviously marked with a hefeweizen pulled a small sample and tasted. He looked at me and said, "No sir, it's Budweiser." I looked at him like I had just discovered the missing link.

cluckk said:

My wife and I went into a bar and ordered a meal and two beers. I find around here the only thing I'm likely to enjoy on tap in most places is Guinness so I ordered one. My wife ordered a Budweiser as usual. When they brought the beers my wife's Bud was very cloudy and when she tasted it she told me it didn't taste right. I tasted it and it was a hefeweizen. It was a heck of a lot better than Bud, but she wanted her choice. I called the bartender over and told him he poured the wrong beer for my wife. He said he didn't and that he had pulled it from the correct tap. I told him then he must have his lines crossed or something because the glass did not have Bud. He walked over to the taps grabbed the one obviously marked with a hefeweizen pulled a small sample and tasted. He looked at me and said, "No sir, it's Budweiser." I looked at him like I had just discovered the missing link.

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Lol just imagine what happens when he goes to other bars and fancies one of those nice "buds". He'll be sending them back complaining that it's too damned clear and has no flavour. Lol

Grossy said:

This was a quite a few years ago.

I was in a bar and asked what they had on tap the waitress rattlled off the generic:

Bud, Coors, Miller, and every version of Light, Ice, and Dry (what ever that is).

Then came Corona, Dos Equis, Killinans red, and Sam Adams.

She said domestics were $3.00 and that imports where $4.00.

I said I'll take a Sam Adams.

The bill came and it was $4.00 a beer. I said what gives? I ordered Sam Adams. She said that was an Import.

I said Sam Adams is made in Boston. She just looked puzzled, and said it was still an import.

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The one called "dry" was Bud dry,had it in big bold blue letters on the label. I thought it was better than the usual Bud when good & cold. Crisper finish to it,not that sweet-ish quality to the malt at all. More German or the like in flavor quality. I used to keep the same 12 pack cooler I bottle on now in the car full of Bud dry on ice till I got off work at 11:30pm. My Cobra Mustang was getting downright popular back then. Joints came out just to get some of my Bud dry. I'd like some of that right now with some vodka or bourbon to warm the ol' bones a might.
I remember one night we had just got in my car & cracked one,when the guard showed up in his truck. We said we were just relaxing in the a/c for a minute before going home. Wrapped a bud dry in a paper towel & passed it too him. He told us not to linger too much longer. We said ok,he drives by the back fence & finishing the beer,tossed the towel covered can over the fence.

Same thing happened to me at a sports/wings bar. I ordered a San Adams, but got some cloudy (tasty) wheat beer. Waitress insisted that it was Sam Adams when it clearly was not. Another person at our table actually had a Sam Adams, and my beer looked nothing like it. Anyway, I liked it, so I asked her to bring me another one. She brought a Sam Adams. I never figured out what I was drinking. Facepalm.

Hammy71 said:

Happened to me many years ago when Yuengling first came to Maryland. I live near the Pa line and the beer was nothing new to me. But the girl at the bar at the Outback in Belair, Md. charged me extra for a Yuengling. She said it was imported. I explained it was brewed closer than the BMC they had on tap.....she didn't agree...was "Chinese" she said.

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This happened to me on a golf course once, we ordered a 6 pack of Yuengling and got charged the import price, we didn't care to argue but joked that it was actually from PA. Later that round the cart girl came back around after asking her manager with a partial refund. We applauded the service and tipped her the refunded amount extra on our next 6 pack.

Me: (outside, getting things ready to brew an AG pale ale)

Very annoying neighbor: Oh, I see you're making beer again.

Me: Yep

Neighbor: Are you gonna make me some?

Me: Nope

Neighbor: OK, well this batch already smells great! I can smell it from inside the house! Good Luck!

Me: [What a moron. I'm only heating the strike water]

I don't even bother with this guy.

itzkramer said:

Me: (outside, getting things ready to brew an AG pale ale)

Very annoying neighbor: Oh, I see you're making beer again.

Me: Yep

Neighbor: Are you gonna make me some?

Me: Nope

Neighbor: OK, well this batch already smells great! I can smell it from inside the house! Good Luck!

Me: [What a moron. I'm only heating the strike water]

I don't even bother with this guy.

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Must have smelled just like the C- he's used to drinking

TopherM said:

Maybe they are smarter than you think! Miller Lite calls their beer a pilsner....The World Beer Cup criteria (don't know if they use BJCP or not) claims that it has too much adjunct to be a true pilsner, so it isn't to the definition, but it's close.

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A lager is brewed with bottom fermenting yeasts and is generally brewed at lower temps and for longer than an ale. I'm speaking generally here about length of times. I know ales can also be brewed at low temps, yadda yadda, but ale yeasts are top fermenting.

The point is a pilsner is a lager; specifically a pale lager.

Billy-Klubb said:

I figure that people drinking "the stuff on the bottom" will ultimately lead to the Zombie Apocalypse. we should be immune from the many years handling yeast. brewers with beards should be able to command zombies by way of thought alone.

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Phew I knew beards were for more than catching those delicious suds

My favorite is "Dark beer is just too bitter for me.", second to that is the assumption that anything that isn't Coors, miller, bud etc is "dark beer".

Or budwiser being the "Great american Lager." rofl.

He walked over to the taps grabbed the one obviously marked with a hefeweizen pulled a small sample and tasted. He looked at me and said, "No sir, it's Budweiser."

Where is that cluckk? Maybe I'll find I do like Bud after all!

The classic, "Hops are what make alcohol in beer."

With beer being one of the most consumed beverages in America you would think people would have some more knowledge about it..

cluckk said:

I've found the show has little to do with the science of brewing and distilling and more to do with what some backwoods distillers think is happening in their stuff. I saw the episode with them grinding their homemade malt too and when they said they grind it really fine so the malt flour could act as yeast for the mash I thought, "Oh great! There's another error people are going to be taking as science."

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Sounds like much of the advice given in these forums: "I read X on HBT and ever since my beer has been great" never mind that they changed 20 other variables in the brewing process at the same time.
Eventually we all stumble onto a process that works....but few of us really know exactly what is happening, and the science..what really is happening.

Swarley88 said:

The classic, "Hops are what make alcohol in beer."

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I argued about this with coworkers a lot
.

People who have never drunk homebrew are wary to taste mine until I assure them they won't go blind. I've tried explaining the physics of distillation and the politics of prohibition, but they usually tune out by the time I get to the differences between beer and wood alcohol and just acquiesce to drinking the stuff.

charliefoxtrot said:

People who have never drunk homebrew are wary to taste mine until I assure them they won't go blind. I've tried explaining the physics of distillation and the politics of prohibition, but they usually tune out by the time I get to the differences between beer and wood alcohol and just acquiesce to drinking the stuff.

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That's the secret. Bore them into submission!

Swarley88 said:

The classic, "Hops are what make alcohol in beer."

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My mother, who is an avid beer and gin drinker despite her ignorance, has told me that she doesn't like hops, and then proceeded to drink a pint of Fuller's ESB.

What the general public doesn't know about beer could (apparently) fill a moderately long forum thread.

Swarley88 said:

With beer being one of the most consumed beverages in America you would think people would have some more knowledge about it..

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To most people it is this mystical substance that only the gods can conjure.

Skeptidelphian said:

To most people it is this mystical substance that only the gods can conjure.

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Nectar of the gods.

itzkramer said:

Me: (outside, getting things ready to brew an AG pale ale)

Very annoying neighbor: Oh, I see you're making beer again.

Me: Yep

Neighbor: Are you gonna make me some?

Me: Nope

Neighbor: OK, well this batch already smells great! I can smell it from inside the house! Good Luck!

Me: [What a moron. I'm only heating the strike water]

I don't even bother with this guy.

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Sounds to me that he was just being a friendly neighbor (albeit lying about being able to smell your beer). Why so hard on him?

We had a few people over to my buddy's place to share the results of our first brew, from a basic IPA kit. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, particularly one guest:
Her: Oh, this is great!
Me: Thanks, glad you like it.
Her: It makes sense though, considering how much I love IPA’s, especially Brooklyn Lager!
Me:

Skeptidelphian said:

To most people it is this mystical substance that only the gods can conjure.

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that must mean

itzkramer said:

Me: (outside, getting things ready to brew an AG pale ale)

Very annoying neighbor: Oh, I see you're making beer again.

Me: Yep

Neighbor: Are you gonna make me some?

Me: Nope

Neighbor: OK, well this batch already smells great! I can smell it from inside the house! Good Luck!

Me: [What a moron. I'm only heating the strike water]

I don't even bother with this guy.

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JordanThomas said:

Sounds to me that he was just being a friendly neighbor (albeit lying about being able to smell your beer). Why so hard on him?

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I have to agree. I hope there's more to the story, because otherwise you're being a jerk.

Have you invited him over to brew with you?
Sometimes annoying can be killed with kindness.

@Jordan: ...if you only knew. This man is the epitome of white trash. Most of our conversations involve him telling me about the last great thing he has fixed on his beat up 1990 Cadillac (which will always be ready to drive "next month").

If that wasn't enough, I watched his wife cut the entire front lawn (the only time that it was actually done all year), in her bra, with an....electric weed wacker.

99% of the time I listen to him and make small talk because I'm a nice guy. But sometimes he's a bit too much.

Please help me!

I agree...it could easily be seen as rudeness. However, invite him to come live next to you for 4 years and you may change your mind!

Haha sounds like a crazy bunch, but nice nonetheless.

At a family Xmas thing last week my wife's cousin told me he's "a bit of a beer snob", and that his everyday beer nowadays is Alexander Keith's :smack:.

Keith's is labeled as an IPA but is tastes as much like a mass-produced lager as anything else in Canada (Blue, Canadian, etc.).

itzkramer said:

If that wasn't enough, I watched his wife cut the entire front lawn (the only time that it was actually done all year), in her bra, with an....electric weed wacker.

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I wish my neighbour's wife would cut the lawn in her bra. And an electric weed wacker (I assume this is the thing we Brits call a strimmer) would take twice as long. I'd just get a deck chair, some homebrew and a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the show. Lol.