Why is recreational sex the first to go

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GilaMinumBeer

GilaMinumBeer

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after having children?

I mean honestly, it takes what 30 minutes to an hour out of ones "busy" life.

I do recognize that timing is a factor but, all too often I hear couples complain that they have no time for each other and that sex is minimal to gone.

And yet, these same people see something walk by and they are the first to dang near spooge themselves. Apparently, the desire is still there so, why is the time "given up"?

Before marriage, rabbits have a hard time keeping up. After marriage, there are still some places you haven't played in. Post children, even porcupines seem to have sex more often than do married couples.

Ohh, and I ask this on behalf of one of my "friends" issues. Ummm, really.


Seriously.
 
I'm married with children and you have to know two things.

1. You have to make time for sex whenever and wherever you can.

2. Pursuant to #1, aloe is very good for carpet burns.
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
after having children?

I mean honestly, it takes what 30 minutes to an hour out of ones "busy" life.

I do recognize that timing is a factor but, all too often I hear couples complain that they have no time for each other and that sex is minimal to gone.

And yet, these same people see something walk by and they are the first to dang near spooge themselves. Apparently, the desire is still there so, why is the time "given up"?

Before marriage, rabbits have a hard time keeping up. After marriage, there are still some places you haven't played in. Post children, even porcupines seem to have sex more often than do married couples.

Ohh, and I ask this on behalf of one of my "friends" issues. Ummm, really.


Seriously.
Click to expand...

May have answered your own question there. ;)
 
ChshreCat said:
I'm married with children and you have to know two things.

1. You have to make time for sex whenever and wherever you can.

2. Pursuant to #1, aloe is very good for carpet burns.
Click to expand...

Okay. Someone contributing something. To this I add;

3. A couple is better than solo.

4. #2 also helps with chaffing.
 
Well, with infants sometimes it's damn near impossible to get more than 6 hrs or sleep a night. But after 3-4 months at the most, that baby should be hitting the sack at 8pm or 9pm max. All three of my kids go to bed at 8:30pm, which leaves plenty of time for extracuricular "activities". Bedtime for me is usually 11pm, so that gives me what, like 2 hours and 25 minutes for other stuff???
 
TwoHeadsBrewing said:
Well, with infants sometimes it's damn near impossible to get more than 6 hrs or sleep a night. But after 3-4 months at the most, that baby should be hitting the sack at 8pm or 9pm max. All three of my kids go to bed at 8:30pm, which leaves plenty of time for extracuricular "activities". Bedtime for me is usually 11pm, so that gives me what, like 2 hours and 25 minutes for other stuff???[/QUOTE]

Yeah, like drinking beer. :cross:
Click to expand...
 
Well i'm a new dad (son is 10 months) and certainly my drive is the same if not greater. I'm even more attracted to my wife now that she's had our baby. Seems to me my 'problem' is that she's always tired. She does most of the feedings (breast) and is the one that takes him to daycare (across the street from her work) so she admittedly handles him more and is likely more tired.

So what do i do? Well i try to do a bit more cooking, help in other ways...but as she's his primary food source...there is only so much I can do. Point being we don't do it as much as we used to...maybe 3x a week now. I try to pick up slack whenever i can so she isn't so tired.

At least i have other projects now...working on a kegerator. I can only hope that as our son starts learning to feed himself and he's weaned that she'll have more energy.

Signed...sex starved homebrewer.
 
jgln said:
May have answered your own question there. ;)
Click to expand...

That being the direct result of the lack thereof, is it unreasonable that when your favorite is no longer on the menu that you eventually start looking at a substitute?

Is there not a time when "begging" the chef becomes un-dignified or pointless?
 
AJ_in_HD said:
well...perhaps I missed what your definition of being married was...i'm especially confused by "still aren't married"...:confused:
Click to expand...

Meaning you never lost the pre-marital sex blitz. 3x a week is a near marathon, o4r should I say tri-athalon. Depending on your perspective.
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
That being the direct result of the lack thereof, is it unreasonable that when your favorite is no longer on the menu that you eventually start looking at a substitute?

Is there not a time when "begging" the chef becomes un-dignified or pointless?
Click to expand...

Yes, quite possibly the reason. I was trying to kid around with you that the sexual attraction in very long term relationships can die down some over time and seeing someone else say a woman you never even seen naked before in a skimpy bikini can't help but get the results you mention. ;)
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
Meaning you never lost the pre-marital sex blitz. 3x a week is a near marathon, o4r should I say tri-athalon. Depending on your perspective.
Click to expand...

lol...well that's a downgrade for me!

maybe i should just shut up then, if others have it worse. :mug:
 
You guys need to get your wives into Pasison Parties. My wife is a consultant. We have 3 girls and still get down and dirty (and I mean dirty) at least 5 times a week.:ban:
 
silvervan83 said:
You guys need to get your wives into Pasison Parties. My wife is a consultant. We have 3 girls and still get down and dirty (and I mean dirty) at least 5 times a week.:ban:
Click to expand...

without pictures for proof, i do not believe you! :ban:
 
silvervan83 said:
I'm not a big fan of greezy SOBs sitting in their mom's basement spankin it to pics of my wife:p
Click to expand...

Then what are you doing here? :D

Often times it's stress that kills the "mood". Who's doing more of what or money or discipline. Just need to communicate more and getting everything out on the table. (after the kids gone to bed of course).
 
After 15 years of marriage and 3 kids (14 and 9) we still have at it once or twice a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. There were slow times, but not many. Right after the kids were born, and for several months after it was worse. Kids are def a drain on your energy.


EDIT: Should be 2 kids....
 
I... ugh... had a friend that told me he and his wife made time for each other every Friday. He stated that he couldn't wait for "FFF" day to come. "FFF" day?! I said to him! Uh... yeah! It means Fu*k-Fest-Friday!

You gotta take time out and make the time count! :D
 
I'm not married, nor do I have children, but sex fades out in almost any relationship. I've seen one anthropologist speculate that since we evolved in small tribes, the loss of desire for your current partner and resultant changing of partners is a means of maximizing genetic diversity. She places the "seven-year itch" at about four years and one surviving child.
 
We're empty nesters, married since 2000, and I invest far more than hour in this at a time. Far more. ;)

But, yeah, I do notice other chicks, but no, not to the point of spooge.

And no, there aren't 'places we've never played', are you kidding? :confused:

And yes, toy parties are at least twice a year.

And no, when she isn't available, due to travel for work, my request for a surrogate is not honored. But I always ask. ;)
 
I have heard the stories about married, with children equalling no sex. My wife is a nymph, she makes sure she gets it several times a week. I suppose I am lucky in that one respect.
 
The Pol said:
I have heard the stories about married, with children equalling no sex. My wife is a nymph, she makes sure she gets it several times a week. I suppose I am lucky in that one respect.
Click to expand...

That's cool.

Since we are sharing, I had sex last night. First time in a few weeks. It was cool.
 
The Pol said:
I freaking get called out to sit "severe weather reserve" here in Chicago and you are back home tappin my wife? You jerk!:D
Click to expand...

Even worse, you'll have to update your signature, because I drained Keg #2. :D:drunk:
 
McKBrew said:
Even worse, you'll have to update your signature, because I drained Keg #2. :D:drunk:
Click to expand...

Dammit! What was in Keg #2????!!

EDIT: OH ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!? I have nothing hoppy to place on tap, thanks home wrecker!
 
You better have left some change in the tip jar!

FOR THE BEER, I know where you were going with that!:D
 
Its because small children have a sex detector, and they can tell when you're getting some so they wake up to get you to turn the night light on, get them a glass of water, read them a story, check under the bed for monsters, etc... As long as you don't try and get some they will sleep through the night.
 
I have an issue with the title of this thread. Recreational sex stopped when we started trying to have kids. That was about 10 years ago. 3 kids later, nursing, co-sleeping, sick kids etc etc. we have really only started (as of about 6 months ago) having recreational sex again. We both missed it. Try to make time - it is worth it.
 
The Pol, MckBrew, how the hell am I supposed to answer the phone with you two cracking me up over here?
 

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