Armageddon (not the fun kind, the ben aflec kind)

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cheezydemon3

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DEAR GOD.

I know this one is old, but WTF?????

So the most respected "Driller" in the world, has the fantastic judgement to have not only his 18 year old hot daughter on the oil rig, but a FREAKING shotgun........which he fires at an employee.

This retard, and his equally challenged crew, are the last hope for earth because......THAT'S RIGHT!!!....there is some DRILLING that will save the earth. (after some space travel and the transportation of a nuclear weapon, all covered sufficiently in my copy of THE OIL DRILLERS HAND BOOK).

Pair all the suspension of disbelief that was inspired by the original STAR Wars, and multiply that by 50, and you may have enough to enjoy this zany, fun filled, crap fest.

Never mind that the gravity on the asteroid is about that of the earth, and ignore the fact that this mechanical drill a little bigger than a humvee is drilling down 10 MILES or so,,(WITH WHAT???) and that several of the highly trained deuchebags are off roading in NASA's supercharged, internal combustion mars rover.

NEver mind the fact that this movie has Ben aflec in it...

COULD IT GET ANY WORSE?????
 
I used to work on an oil rig - I could definitely do all that, and still RDWHAHB......:rockin:
 
One of my favorite movies of all time.

It's got deeper meaning, as in we rely on the government to protect us, but in the end it's going to be the wackiest rednecks out there who save the planet.

(OK, maybe a stretch, but I still like the movie and have watched it several times).
 
Dude, this movie came out literally like a decade ago and you're just now writing a review about it?
 
I expected the "1999" wants it's crappy movie back, but I did start with a disclaimer.

This piec o crap came on tv last night, so I was inspired.
 
I expected the "199" wants it's crappy movie back, but I did start with a disclaimer.

This piec o crap came on tv last night, so I was inspired.

I saw it on the tube, watched about 5 minutes before realizing what a pile it was. I forgot how bad that movie was...
 
come on now it had to be in the least bit entertaining when Steve Buscemi got ontop of the nuclear war head:

Steve: Wheeeewww!!! Ride EM!!!
Captain *****bag: Get off the Nuclear Warhead!
Steve: Sorry... Just wanted to feel the power between my legs.


Hehehe
 
My favorite scene is when Buscemi goes crazy and starts shooting up the shuttle.

Why the hell do they have machine guns?
 
.................sorry Mckbrew.

At least be like starship troopers and make the retardedly unbelieveable stuff happen in some other universe so it's halfway believeable.

Good point about the machine guns Beerobot.

If shotguns are standard issue on oil rigs...........
 
Even though the movie was SOOOOOO bad, the worst part was having to listen to Aerosmith's crappy tune that played for months and months. I want the old Aerosmith back please.
 
If none of you want her I'll take her.
naked-liv-tyler-with-shawl.jpg
 
Even though the movie was SOOOOOO bad, the worst part was having to listen to Aerosmith's crappy tune that played for months and months. I want the old Aerosmith back please.

yup. they came out with a whole slew of craptastic songs about the time of this film- but that freaking song is the worst of the lot. I can't believe the same guys that came out with "back in the saddle" also produced that junk.

it makes for a funny take on those old drug commercials, though:

Your brain on drugs= "back in the saddle"

Your brain twenty years after the drugs = "that unnameable song from Armageddon."

So don't do drugs, kids...
 
COULD IT GET ANY WORSE?????

washed up Aerosmith singing 80's style rock ballads?

At least be like starship troopers and make the retardedly unbelieveable stuff happen in some other universe so it's halfway believeable.

Was Starship Troopers produced like an 80's movie, or what? Cheesy single syllabel names for the "heros" - gratutious boobs, unbelievable plot, "Jester" from Top Gun as the general (or whatever rank he was)...
 
washed up Aerosmith singing 80's style rock ballads?



Was Starship Troopers produced like an 80's movie, or what? Cheesy single syllabel names for the "heros" - gratutious boobs, unbelievable plot, "Jester" from Top Gun as the general (or whatever rank he was)...

I know! at least 50 times more entertainment value than armageddon.;)
 
just a thought here... there might... just might be a generational thing going on here with Aerosmith...

I take it that most of you who have weighed in on the band and that "song" being terrible are over or around the age of 40? Yes? If so I can see why you think its garbage. But in defense of my generation, give Aero a break on that album... the song really wasnt that bad, and if I recall that song was a chart topper for a while...

But yes a far cry from what made Aerosmith a great band in the first place... And I'm on board that LiV Tyler is totally hot...
 
I take it that most of you who have weighed in on the band and that "song" being terrible are over or around the age of 40? Yes? If so I can see why you think its garbage. But in defense of my generation...

not so much. I was one of those anti-Aerosmyth Armageddon song guys and I'm in my early 30s.

A bad song is a bad song. When I compare it against their material from Pump I notice a marked decrease in quality.

The song matches the film- bad song, bad film. They go together, like chocolate on ice cream, or beer with pizza. In my mind, chart topper does not equal good song. There are lots of examples. Ace of Base, anyone?
 
Yep, 34 years here.

Aerosmith, metallica, and a few others who were the real deal back in the day, but who have sold out and lost their edge is pretty sad.
 
Dynachrome said:
Intro by Charlie Heston....

Com' on, there were a couple gems in there.

The interviews

Wow, you just dusted off a nearly 3 year old thread about a movie that was over 10 years old when it was written. I need coffee now.
 
That Aerosmith song has the line "... and then I kiss your eyes..." Just imagine Steven Tyler's largemouth bass kisser coming at your eyes. blerrrchh....
 
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