The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

They make K2 out of Apache Trout

It's the overly large dorsal fin and black eye band that make them synthetic.... and shtty.

Racist. Reported.

Dude... Please... I'm a huuuuuge Apache Trout fan. You could even say I am one of about three people who give a shti if it goes extinct.

Me too. I LUV Apache trout.

Pan fried.
Baked.
Smoked.
You name it.

You know the best way to catch Apache trout?

Dynamite. Deflates their bladders and the little fu(kers float to the top. TB12 taught me that.

I usually just reach down and grab em. They live in small streams you can just hop over and they're too stupid to get out of the way.

They're basically the stupid *****es of the fish world

Plus you end up with a nice little pool to swim in while da wimmins get the fish fry ready

Can you imagine how pissed off the taxpayers of Arizona are going to be when they find out they've been paying some retards salary for years and THAT is what he spends his day working on?

Stupid ****** fish.

I bet his kids have an upset tummy and have to stay home when it's their turn for Take Your Dad. To School Day.

"By the way.. I've won several major homebrewing awards unrelated to the SDF (stupid ****** fish)"

paulthenurse said:

Gawd damn, I've discovered the cure for insomnia. I just spent a half hour listening to some goober on Bass Pro Shop.Radio talking about his career as.a.fish whisperer. Jeezuz, I almost drove into a bridge abutment just to lessen the pain.

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Our lovely forum admin @Yooper married the fish whisperer. I've seen the pictures.

This continues to not be Twitter...

Just sayin'

paulthenurse said:

I'd tell you to eat my meatballs but I'm afraid Big John would hurt me.

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A little fear goes a long way.

Cape Brewing said:

This continues to not be Twitter...

Just sayin'

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Don't the football guys miss you over there... ?

Melana said:

Don't the football guys miss you over there... ?

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#nonotreally

I didn't want to tell the others here that your 8 year old can hold a more in depth football conversation than you, but you forced me into it. Kid is smarter than most of the football thread, combined. I'm guessing he gets it from his mother.

bluemoose said:

I didn't want to tell the others here that your 8 year old can hold a more in depth football conversation than you, but you forced me into it. Kid is smarter than most of the football thread, combined. I'm guessing he gets it from his mother.

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No shocking news there.

That... I can't deny. The kid is fanatical about football and the Pats. Knows his shti way more than an 8 year old should.

He recently won a bet against my step-father and a much older cousin. They were saying you just had to raise your hand for a fair catch... and he corrected them saying you had to wave your arm. They thought he was crazy, bet him, and then they looked it up on the interwebs and the kid was obviously correct.

... and he then talked smack about for an hour.

Atta boy.

Melana said:

No shocking news there.

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No one can read that... you forgot the @'s and #'s

cape brewing said:

no one can read that... You forgot the @'s and #'s

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#gfy!

Atta girl

#shegotgame

I wonder if all of the SDF look up to him as a sort of a leader or perhaps even a king?

You've exceeded all creepiness levels at this point.

Are you drunk??

Nah. I only had one with FW. I'm just amusing the hell out of myself, waiting for a response from His Majesty

Well maybe I've had a few others along the way.

Kinda makes you wonder what the job was that he was gonna take here. Maybe work tirelessly to save the very rare Great North Massachusetts Spotted Turd Slug?

Majestic creature... the Turd Slug

Doesn't the_bird raise them?

I think we should start farming escargot.

paulthenurse said:

Bob probably saw you cleaning off some cheese.

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I promised myself to not laugh.

See, just like in second grade when your momma told you to not give them any attention, especially negative attention, and they'll go away.

But every time I tell myself "ignore him and he'll go away", Paulie actually makes me laugh out loud. I'm such a sucker.

We went to a cocktail party this evening at a guy's house. He makes these drinks called "red devils" and one of them will knock you on your ass, and two will make you swear "never again." But see, they are so goooooood.

Then he brings out the guitar, and time just flies by.

He told me to tell @melana he's sorry if I have a hangover tomorrow.

I can live with being the kid in second grade your mom didn't want you to be friends with.

Especially since 50 years later I'm alive and that kid most likely isn't. Or if he is its only because he's been in a supermax prison in Nebraska since the Reagan administration.

And don't fret about Melana. She hangs with us. She's used to disappointment

paulthenurse said:

I can live with being the kid in second grade your mom didn't want you to be friends with.

Especially since 50 years later I'm alive and that kid most likely isn't. Or if he is its only because he's been in a supermax prison in Nebraska since the Reagan administration.

And don't fret about Melana. She hangs with us. She's used to disappointment

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Sad but true.

Yooper said:

I promised myself to not laugh.

drinks called "red devils" and one of them will knock you on your ass, and two will make you swear "never again." But see, they are so goooooood.

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Hey Yoop,got a recipe for those drinks?

Loving Texas

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Its not beer but its yummy

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That's no Texas lobster. Boil it up and heat up the buttah

nhwrecker said:

Hey Yoop,got a recipe for those drinks?

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No- but it involved a large quantity of good vodka, some lime, crangrape juice(?) and was very drinkable.

nhwrecker said:

That's no Texas lobster. Boil it up and heat up the buttah

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It was soooooooooo good. And so very big. And there is some leftover for dinner tonight! I never used the phrase "all that leftover lobster" before, and it felt awesome saying.

And all we did in return was a measly purple drink.

Yooper said:

No- but it involved a large quantity of good vodka, some lime, crangrape juice(?) and was very drinkable.



It was soooooooooo good. And so very big. And there is some leftover for dinner tonight! I never used the phrase "all that leftover lobster" before, and it felt awesome saying.

And all we did in return was a measly purple drink.

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Awesome purple drink.