The Official 2011 Masstoberfest Thread

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So knowing full well that I'm going to aggravate myself I call up Yeager...

"Hey Chris, I'm going to need a hand getting the pig on the fire on Friday night, can you help out."

"Uhhh, geeeeee, I don't know. You know, it's night and everything. I can't leave Her Imperial Highness LeeAnn alone with the kids, it stresses her out."

"Chris, I'm talking about midnight. The pig goes on the fire at midnight. The kids are 3 and 2, the will have been in bed for hours at midnight."

"Well ya, but there is still herself..."

"Oh for the love of baseball, Chris! Put the hose to her at 11. You'll be done by 11:02."

"Hey, I'm getting better!!! I can go till 11:10 these days."

"Hey that's good, those websites of yours are really helping!"

"Ya, they are. But I don't know about midnight. I can't leave in the middle of the night. You know what happened to Paul Simon, he got up to wash his face, when he came back some one took his place."

"Chris, trust me. There ain't a line going round the block to take your place."

"I've got to think about it."
 
Phone call from Yeager...

""Jeeezuz Christtttttt. You DO know that she logs on here to check up on me, right?????"""

"You're serious?"

"Farkin' A right I am!!!!!!!! That crazy biatch is stalking my arse!".

"Chris, you weigh 102 pounds. You don't have an ass!"

"That's not the point. She is the worlds lightest sleeper. If I get out of bed at 11:30 she'll know."

"So don't go to bed when she does."

"What?"

"It's easy Chris. When she says 'I'm going to bed,' you say goodnight."

"Goodnight? That's it? That won't work. How about I come over at 4:30 and we put the pig on the fire then?"

"So that it will be ready at 7 am? Do you remember the exact moment she cut off you balls?"

"Yess, God damn it! Thanks for reminding me! It was the day before we got married. I was pretty much fed up with her Aunt Harriet and she insisted I dance with her at the rehearsal dinner. The old Biatch smelled like mothballs but she kept grinding her pelvis against me. I couldn't help it, I got a boner, her mother noticed and pointed it out to everybody at the rehersal dinner. My life had been spiraling downhill since that moment."

"Farkin' A. Ok 4:30 is fine."
 
So Paulie, I'm pretty sure you already said, but what time are the festivities beginning? I'd like to hit the road pretty early and get my brew going (and done) fairly early, so I can kick back and relax.
 
Hey Pinch Flat (your new nickname).... I think I am up to about a 38% chance of showing with the boys for a short period of time.

if I do show, I'll bring broccoli again.
 
Hee hee... I like it.

That's gonna stick.

And yeah, it was "glass"... I walked over to the spot where this "glass" was and all that was there was a toothpick.

I can hear PFTN now... "Toothpick nuthin!!!! That thing was at least three inches tall with a super sharp edge on it!!! It was like a sharpened two by four!! I don't know HOW I did't see it. Hitting something like that at the speed I was going though... how could I NOT get a pinch flat?? Damn thing almost bent my rim!!"

:rolleyes:
 
OH THE HORROR!!!!

I just got a text and pic on my phone from PFTN... apparently, today, he hit a pencil that was laying in the road.

Pauls bike.jpg
 
Road crews are on-site trying to patch the pavement from where PFTN went over the handlebars. They're hoping to get the road opened back up some time tomorrow morning.

pot hole.jpg
 
Ok - here's my story...

The thought of spending $800+ for 3-4 days to go to a Masstoberfest & a sox game (while indeed epic), just isn't in the cards this year.

If (when?) I do this trip (either for Masstoberfest or Cape's deep fried pig "event"), I want to make a real trip out of it, and spend some time in that part of the country...

Hopefully next year....
 
paulthenurse said:
Not for nuttin' AZ but if you didn't wait till the farkin' day before your ticket wouldn't be $600, ya goof!
Click to expand...

Ya goof...

I'm 4 hours from the nearest real airport, so I'm including travel to and fro...plus the tickets (assuming I pulled the trigger when they were ~$350)...plus rental car...plus sox game...etc....

I knew you couldn't ride a bike, but I thought you could at least add...
 
Lame! ;)

Alright, so I need one of my homebrew buddies here to hook me up with a little sanitizer. Friggin' homebrew shop in Pittsfield looks like it's on its last legs. No Star-San. No Iodophor. No US-05 (those are three pretty basic things to be out of). They had my Munich malt, but not a helluva lot less. Total inventory in the place loooks to be about one-third of what they had earlier in the year.

Meh. Just means I've got to drive to Troy, to a *real* friggin' shop.
 
IrregularPulse said:
AZ, do you really want to go to the kind of parted associated with 'men' like Yeager? "p
Click to expand...

How can you say that? Have I ever even met you? Really are you as big of an A$$ as PFTN? Are you sure that the hole in the road wasn't from man love between you and PFTN?
 
FYI Here is the real conversation about the midnight run:

Me: "Hello?"
PFTN: "Hey dic&^ead Friday night get your f-in A$$ over here and help me lift a 50lb pig onto Bertha. Make sure it is midnight, because I want to make sure there is nothing convenient about this favor. You are my only friend who I can try and force to do this"
Me: "Hello? who the heii is this?"
PFTN: "Its me, Pinch Flat, I fell off my bike and I landed on my ankle and can't walk."
Me: "Lose some weight so next time so your legs don't have to try and break the laws of physics to keep you standing"
PFTN: "What ever, just get here at the most inconvenient time I can possibly imagine. I have no other friends."
Me: "Do you ever wonder why that is? Could it be you want them to drive to your house on a Friday night at midnight to left a little 50lb pig? Note this implies enough sobriety to drive the 35 minutes each way, and hello its a Friday night! Gee I wonder why you have no friends."
 
the_bird said:
Lame! ;)

Alright, so I need one of my homebrew buddies here to hook me up with a little sanitizer. Friggin' homebrew shop in Pittsfield looks like it's on its last legs. No Star-San. No Iodophor. No US-05 (those are three pretty basic things to be out of). They had my Munich malt, but not a helluva lot less. Total inventory in the place loooks to be about one-third of what they had earlier in the year.

Meh. Just means I've got to drive to Troy, to a *real* friggin' shop.
Click to expand...


Bird,

Have you ever checked out www.nfghomebrew.com in leominster? It's right off of Route 2. It's probably a little over a half hour from Athol but I've always liked their selection. They have odd hours and not sure if you're taking rt 2 to ptn's but I'd recommend them. I even buy unpasteurized apple cider from them. Good people.
 
So sad. So very, very sad.

yeager1977 said:
FYI Here is the real conversation about the midnight run:

Me: "Hello?"
PFTN: "Hey dic&^ead Friday night get your f-in A$$ over here and help me lift a 50lb pig onto Bertha. Make sure it is midnight, because I want to make sure there is nothing convenient about this favor. You are my only friend who I can try and force to do this"
Me: "Hello? who the heii is this?"
PFTN: "Its me, Pinch Flat, I fell off my bike and I landed on my ankle and can't walk."
Me: "Lose some weight so next time so your legs don't have to try and break the laws of physics to keep you standing"
PFTN: "What ever, just get here at the most inconvenient time I can possibly imagine. I have no other friends."
Me: "Do you ever wonder why that is? Could it be you want them to drive to your house on a Friday night at midnight to left a little 50lb pig? Note this implies enough sobriety to drive the 35 minutes each way, and hello its a Friday night! Gee I wonder why you have no friends."
Click to expand...
 
TheDudeLebowski said:
Bird,

Have you ever checked out www.nfghomebrew.com in leominster? It's right off of Route 2. It's probably a little over a half hour from Athol but I've always liked their selection. They have odd hours and not sure if you're taking rt 2 to ptn's but I'd recommend them. I even buy unpasteurized apple cider from them. Good people.
Click to expand...

I haven't, and it's far of a haul for me (2+ hours) for that to be a regular place. There's a place over in Northampton that's been around forever, but the people there have always been a little prickly. I really like Hennessey Homebrew Emporium over in Troy, it's the same guy that has a place in West Boylston and in Cambridge. He's expanded, he sells virtually everything you could imagine, it's all fresh, and the guys who work there are pretty cool. It's just a bit more of a drive (a little more than an hour) than I would prefer, and I don't usually find myself over there for anything else.

The place in Pittsfield was/is pretty new, but he's scaled WAY back on his inventory since I was there last. It was/is convenient (since I'm in Pittsfield two or three days a week, anyway), but the guy who's actually running the store all the time is completely clueless, and now I know I can't count on them to stock ANYTHING I might need.

He was selling the oddest thing, though; he was selling a one-pound bag of tannin. If you were making wine and had to add tannin, how much would you add? A teaspoon, maybe? How many ****ing batches of red wine would you be making before you used a friggin' one-pound bag of pure tannin?

Alright... one more day.
 

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