The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Cape Brewing said:

Oh. Happy 80th bday yesterday Paul. Have an extra prune juice on me

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Fat Tuesday was last week.

You guys are really just trying to get PTN to use the GFY-to-infinity emoji, aren't you?

Nah, we’re safe... he’s too winded to type out two posts in a row. Maybe tomorrow. After he has relaxed tonight and watched his shows

Cape Brewing said:

Nah, we’re safe... he’s too winded to type out two posts in a row. Maybe tomorrow. After he has relaxed tonight and watched his shows

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"How come I can never find Johnny Carson? Is the Dick Van Dyke show on tonight?"

the_bird said:

"How come I can never find Johnny Carson? Is the Dick Van Dyke show on tonight?"

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“I’m just glad they got rid of that hippy Laurence Welk”

Your mother used to pretend to be Cissy from the Lawrence Welch show and would strip as she danced for me.
Damn, she was a wild one.

Show of hands... who’s surprised Paul knows characters from the Lawrence Welk show by name?

Anyone?

never heard of any Lawrence Welk show

Polka Fiesta!

Nothing like a freezing March gale, makes me remember why I stayed hear in the first place....

Do sandbars have trees?
Either way, buckle up. It's blowing here already but nothing like the forecast your way...

Cheers!

I think you are confusing where I live w Nantucket. I just dropped an oak by front door at insurance co "suggestion", looks like it'll make 2 cords in bole alone, shook the ground... & don't try this at home.

I'll miss that tree, but not next time we are on hurricane watch, even tied it off once, not something I need to be doing for storm prep, at this stage of life.

day_trippr said:

Do sandbars have trees?
Either way, buckle up. It's blowing here already but nothing like the forecast your way...

Cheers!

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I hear you. We had two dozen trees almost all 90-100 footers and mostly white pines dropped this summer just because I was tired of wondering which one would land across our ridge boards first. Much nicer now, can enjoy the breeze

Cheers!

Deciding about tree canopy is one of those tougher decisions for me, and when asked for advice. The "breeze" can be pretty relentless here, trees can help a lot.

Also, when a tree canopy is broken up by cutting selected trees, it increases the chance the remaining ones will fall or get damaged, which kind of leads to an all or nothing situation. Sounds like you might have done that, which is wiser than leaving a few in stand standing alone.

We left everything that can't reach the house
Lots of trees but they're concentrated along the perimeter of the property...

Cheers!

When I first moved here the yard was a forest. Took down several dozen, including having a few folks tailing onto a rope at an early Masstoberfest helping me take down one of the last ones. That was fun but not as much fun as renting the excavator to dig up the stumps. THAT was a fun weekend!

Take out any utilities? Even w dig safe I get one now & then, but the DS# is get out of jail free card,.. usually.

He don't need no stinking DS#!

But a fat wallet...yeah

It always goes straight to fat jokes...

Yes, I called Dig Safe. 30+ years ago I was building a spec house in Falmouth and called dig safe before we broke ground. Sometime later the excavating guy was running a trench to the box and took out half of East Falmouth when he got a little too close to where the underground line wasn’t supposed to be. Saved myself (or him) thousands in fines.

paulthenurse said:

It always goes straight to fat jokes...

Yes, I called Dig Safe. 30+ years ago I was building a spec house in Falmouth and called dig safe before we broke ground. Sometime later the excavating guy was running a trench to the box and took out half of East Falmouth when he got a little too close to where the underground line wasn’t supposed to be. Saved myself (or him) thousands in fines.

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No, you telegrammed Dig Safe.

God you’re old

paulthenurse said:

It always goes straight to fat jokes...

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Tre' sensitivo? Twas mearly referring to financial status.

30 years ago we were both markedly lighter.

Did get power to his grain mill tho

Doesn't all that overspill mess with brewhouse efficiency?

[PS I got married at the Wayside Inn one September and I remember the mosquitoes were intense]

Rumor has it Masstoberfest is cancelled.

Paul’s respirator is on back order.

Sweet Jesus... THREE Massachusetts colleges today... sending all the kids home... Harvard, Amherst, and Smith (out in western Mass... aka Inbredsville).

TheDudeLebowski said:

Rumor has it Masstoberfest is cancelled.

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Dammit, I had already booked flights for this year. Figures...

Great, they'll prolly send the healthy low symptom kids in collage home and us tired old parents get it.

Good to know there is a coherent plan in place.

Hope there is a refund on room, board & lab fees.

Dland said:

Great, they'll prolly send the healthy low symptom kids in collage home and us tired old parents get it.

Good to know there is a coherent plan in place.

Hope there is a refund on room, board & lab fees.

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Gonna need those life insurance proceeds to pay next semester's tuition.

Dland said:

Great, they'll prolly send the healthy low symptom kids in collage home and us tired old parents get it.

Good to know there is a coherent plan in place.

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That's a collage. College is where you go to learn that if your parents didn't love you enough to make one with you

Message? Massage? What's the difference?

TheDudeLebowski said:

Message? Massage? What's the difference?

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Who are you, Bob Kraft's defense lawyer?

the_bird said:

Gonna need those life insurance proceeds to pay next semester's tuition.

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Poor things are SOL then...

HoppyDaze said:

That's a collage. College is where you go to learn that if your parents didn't love you enough to make one with you

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Must be nice for you to know you can get a job as substitute teach when the money shell game jobs dry up... ;}

I have a nearly overwhelming urge for a lime and I want to wade across a river.

paulthenurse said:

I have a nearly overwhelming urge for a lime and I want to wade across a river.

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Might want to add some gin to that lime. Maybe skip the wade for now, it is still quite cold, and...been has been nasty for a couple of centuries.

Naked Gun. 1988.

It’s like Leslie Nielsen was Nostradamus or sumptin.

Conversation at work today
Them:"Can you believe the nuts panic buying TP? Why not canned goods or important stuff?"
Me: "I know, right? Like I'm seriously low on Maris Otter"
Them:<blink><blink>??
Me: "never mind"

I guarantee you that the beer stein on the left is coming to my clinic tomorrow to tell me he Prosted someone who’s mother’s hairdresser drove past a Chinese restaurant that had all their chicken dishes 50% off, and thinks he needs to be tested.

Welcome to my world bitches.