The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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the_bird said:
It's not so ****ing windy that you can't be expected to hold a car door and keep it from knocking off the mirror of the car right next to you!
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Yikes. Relax and have a few beers. Makes everything better.
 
Against my better judgement I ran out to the local Best Buy to order a replacement for my near-death keezer, and when I opened the car door in the vast exposed expanse of their parking lot I nearly lost my left arm at the shoulder. Not good.

Didn't clip anything, but that's only because I always park my Sunday Driver out in the boonies...

It's gonna be a ***** of a game tonight. Not that I ever do, but I don't envy anyone that's hanging out in Foxboro in that wind and cold.

Thinking we'll have a nice fire tonight...

Cheers!
 
Jay, just accept the fact that Shan can't drive worth a damn and give her your shi!tbox and keep the new car for yourself. I was actually going to suggest that you buy her a bike but I'm not sure if she still has to drive over the mountain to get to work now that she's a bonafide dahhkta.

Actually, how about a moped? Just load up on insurance in case she drives a moped as poorly as she drives a car.

I've got a cousin who's a cop. His Dad, my uncle, was a cop. He told me something once that stuck with me. He said that 99% of the people on the road think that they are excellent drivers and the rest of the people on the road are idiots. Scary.

I was reminded of that today when I went to the hardware store. I stopped a few stores down from the one I was headed to because someone was pulling out of a space. Some dingbat broad, talking on a cell phone, in a bright red convertible, swings around the bank of parked cars and tries to pull in front of me. Where the hell does she think she's going to go? Why does she THINK I just up and stopped in the middle of the parking lot? Then, once this genius figures out WHY I stopped (When she came bumper to bumper with the car that was backing out) she backed out of the spot she'd gotten herself into and went around the other way. Eventually, she pulled into a spot one spot away from the one I was pulling into. I stopped and waited till Sugar Tits was out of her car and walking away before I pulled in. "Congratulations there Punkin. You made it."
 
I was having a ****ty day until I saw this. Drunk Chicago Bears fans deciding that a footrace was a good idea.

 
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So many good jokes about that video that I can't take credit for. "Proof that in Chicago, you can't go half a block without running into a Pole." "Does that mean that the guy in the Payton jersey has dibs on that parking space?"
 
ComcastWineRookie said:
wow, tix for the bog inn anniv/holiday party sold out, I never got a chance to get mine. Oh well
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He put some aside for me. I picked them Saturday. I'm Glad you're not going.
 
Yakima 300

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