Best of Craigslist-

I love reading this ****- This one in particular was awesome

My women
Date: 2008-08-13, 6:40AM EDT


Laura. You were hot. I was not. You let me **** you because I was funny. Thank you.

Kim. We smoked a lot of weed and drank all the time. I don't remember much.

Sarah. You were hot. But a total *****. I could have done better. You treated me like ****. I put up with it because you had a great ******. Beautiful.

Another Kim. You thought you were smart. You weren't. I was bored.

Charlee. I liked your name and the way it was spelled.

Rachel. You were really sweet and nice. Stop emailing me. It's been fifteen years. It's creeping me out and pissing off my wife. ****ing classmates.com.

Megan. I wanted you since highschool. I was kinda dissapointed when it happened.

Jennifer. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell were you thinking? You smelled kinda funny too. Your dad was a dick.

Jill. You had HUGE nipples. Couldn't feel a thing though. Shame all that nippleage going to waste.

Michelle. You were a drug addict. You have to be pretty ****ed up for me of all people to say that.

Another Megan. I lost your number.

Laura. I did it for the novelty of going out with a girl that I went out with ten years before. You were still hot. I got kinda hot. We were better matched. Thanks again. Sorry I dumped you. You were a ****ty tipper. I had no choice. Some handsome and cool ****ty tipping guy probably grabbed you. Or some funny wanker.

Another another Megan. I've dated a lot of Megans. This one was no prize.

Debby. You were really smart except you had no self esteem. Be careful or some ******* is going to own you and that would be sad. You're smart and pretty and have great tits. Smaller tits can be awesome too.

Sophia. Liked your name. Liked that you worked out a lot. You seemed nice but you ****ed up my credit. User.

Andrea. You had that adorable petit look that I can only call the "Penelope Cruz" look. Too bad you didn't have her personality.

Emily. NOBODY ****ING CARES YOUR FAMILY IS RICH. You'd be okay if you were not preoccupied with wealth you did not personally aquire.

Dr. Sanderson. You worked to much. You were kinda cold. I thought you were cool though but you are so career motivated you probably did not give a **** about anything else. I got drunk once and thought about asking you to marry me though. I still wonder if you would have.

Elizabeth. You are my wife. My wife is perfect. My life is perfect.

Violet. You are my daughter. When I looked in on you tonight I had that rush of feeling so strong that a shiver went through my whole body and I had to move my hands really quickly to dissipate it's physical effect. Before I met you I was a "kids are no big deal, everyone's got kids and they're not that ****ing special" kinda guy. You ****ing ruined me. I'm gay for kids now. I love you so much baby.

My unborn 6 month old fetal daughter. If you come out retarded or ugly as **** I'll still love and protect you.

awww that ending is good haha.

There's a writer named Tucker Max that got his start by basically posting his weekend activities on CL. Best of is awesome.

holy f#@$ that was funny

someone (a better writer than me) should do a "my beers" version of that.

blacklab said:

There's a writer named Tucker Max that got his start by basically posting his weekend activities on CL. Best of is awesome.

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I had been meaning to read some Tucker Max lately but it kept slipping my mind by the time I got to the 'puter. Thanks for the reminder!

If you haven't ever read his stuff check out tuckermax.com and read his first story listed "the famous 'suishi pants' story". Definitely worth a read.

I just saw this. I had no idea the economy was getting this bad!

Need Replacement Body Organs? - $85100 (San Antonio)

Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2009-01-29, 2:45AM EST



Healthy non-smoking, non drinking, clean, educated, out of work 57 y.o. Caucasian Male needs money to pay my bills and save home and the banks won't loan it to me because i am late on a bill and it dropped my credit score too love.

I have for sale the following healthy body parts:

One healthy lung, non smoking owner, no spots $100,000

One healthy Kidney, extremely light alcohol use $100,000

One Eye, Brown, good site $85,000

Will also sell tattooed skin for various prices, you pick and pay for the tattoo and for the surgeon to remove it

Buyer must agree to pay all legal all medical bills, arrange the surgery pay round trip transportation and food and lodging while recovering

I'm having to do this to save my home. I not behind on anything yet but it is coming within the next two weeks because I had to change jobs after a layoff and I make less money. A little creative financing would alleviate the need for this but no bankers want to hear me out. I have a house that is on the tax roles at a worth of $312,000. I only owe $75,000 on it I requested a loan of $185,000 to refinance the house and consolidate all my bills to lower my outstanding monthly payments from $5200 a month to 2500 a month with a 10 year loan. Pentagon Federal Credit union turned me down flat, I've been with Pentagon Fed Credit Union for 37 years and have never failed to repay them. Bank of America where I have another account flatly refused me too, as did Citi Corp, I'm not asking for a hand out like the banks got, I'm asking for a hand up. I just need someone to look at me, my situation and see that there is no gamble, it's a win-win situation. If not, I need to take care of my family the only other way I know how.....By giving of myself.

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Skins_Brew said:

I just saw this. I had no idea the economy was getting this bad!

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now that is sad!