You're no longer a n00b when...

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cheezydemon said:
276) You successfully satisfy your mate during your boil, and don't have a boil over and you time it perfectly during the 15 minutes between hop additions.:mug:

If you completed SWMBO-relations within fifteen minutes, sounds to me like you DID have a "boil over"... :D
 
the_bird said:
If you completed SWMBO-relations within fifteen minutes, sounds to me like you DID have a "boil over"... :D
15 minutes... wow, took your time huh? I can get it done in between the aroma hop addition and the end of the boil.
 
cheezydemon said:
276) You successfully satisfy your mate during your boil, and don't have a boil over and you time it perfectly during the 15 minutes between hop additions.:mug:
Ah, there's the problem. That would entail being done in less than 15 minutes... You, maybe... Me.... not so much. :D
 
Lol thought that might get some interesting responses.

277) You talk her into doing it in the garage, you successfully throw in the hop additions at the proper times and SHE is the only thing to boil over.
 
cheezydemon said:
Lol thought that might get some interesting responses.

277) You talk her into doing it in the garage, you successfully throw in the hop additions at the proper times and SHE is the only thing to boil over.

I think that was the nail being hit on the head!
 
278. You find multiple items in your work's employee shopping cataloge that can be used in your brewery and you decide to cash in your points/dollars you worked hard to earn.

279. Despite #278, you still decide to get SWMBO something for her from said catalog.

280. You make sure SWMBO is aware of #278 and #279 so future purchases are guilt and question free.
 
281) When you have enough freezer space to hold four sides of beef and a Thanksgiving dinner, but it's all kept at 35-45F and full of beer.

282) You have a "hop shelf" in the one freezer that actually stays at freezing temperatures and is not full of beer.


TL
 
when you use "beer talk" as foreplay while at the same time talking your wife into letting you purchase equipment


"6.5 gallon ... glass carboy ..... ball ... lock ... keg ..... mmmmmm ... yeah ... they're only $15 ...... sounds good right ..... yeah ... mmmmm"
 
#284 When one of the reasons you gave your buddy's wife to buy him a mig welder was so you could build a sculpture :D
 
#285A - Convince SWMBO to start a soap, lotion, & candle making home business.
#285B - Buy SWMBO a propane burner for making said soap, lotion, & candles.
#285C - Write said propane burner off as a business expense.
#285D - Purchase equpiment for all-grain brewing.
#285E - Brew beer with said propane burner.

Right now I'm working on 285B.
 
Hoping this might help me rise from the ranks of "New Brewer" (n00b is the term for people I pwn in Halo)

#286 You start the dishwasher empty except for your 4 favorite pint glasses and no detergent, bar sanitser in the Jet Dry compartment.
 
#287 Realize you spent 5 out of 8 hours at work searching and reading this site.
#289 Go from Mr. Beer to 6 tap homemade kegerator in less than 2 months. (pics to come.)
 
123h You're down to the sub-sub-styles in the guidelines looking for something new to try.
124h You've finally accepted the fact that chocolate is not a brew group.
 
david_42 said:
123h You're down to the sub-sub-styles in the guidelines looking for something new to try.
124h You've finally accepted the fact that chocolate is not a brew group.

You're a hopeless computer nerd when.... you type numbers in hex, but on a brewing website.

but...

You're a lame and hopeless computer nerd when...

...

...when you instantly recognize that aforementioned numbers are IN hex, and don't have to use Calculator to verify they're the right numbers.

Shoot me now. :drunk:
 
Cheesefood said:
Just a little something I thought we could do to poke fun at our own n00biness. Kind of the opposite of my Bad Techniques thread.

You're no longer a n00b when...


Well done all.


Keep them coming.

#291 You have nothing to do brewing wise so you spend a hour and type up 101 reasons You're no longer a n00b :D

WOW you were really bored one morning back in march

Edit: forgot to remove list from quote & was respectufully cried at ;)
 
cheezydemon said:
Please, with all due respect. It is not necessary to Quote the original post!!! It takes up up a frigging page!lol

Heh, but it got me to re-read it :D

By the way, you should be on #293, not #291. Even if David put it in hexadecimal, it's still a legit number.

#294) SWMBO grounds you from brewing another batch until you remove your beer equipment from at least two rooms in the house. (Thereby conceding the other 4 rooms on that floor to your equipment in the process.)

It's true 'nuff. I had to de-louse the kitchen and the dining room, because she was tired of my sprawling piles of primaries. So I cleaned up, now I get the laundry room, my office, and the porch for storage areas. Oh, and my cellar. And behind the couch in the living room. And my bedroom closet.
 
related...
#295 For three days, SWMBO walks through the house asking, "Can you smell that?" You respond, "No." even though you know its the carboy you have been hiding in the kitchen and haven't cleaned for two weeks.
 
shafferpilot said:
#296 SWMBO takes a drink of your beer and has to ask you whether or not it's one of yours:)

#297 SWMBO takes a drink of your beer, unmarked, in the same pint glass you always use, and can correctly identify WHICH of your beers it is, then finishes your glass when you're not looking.
 
#299. You point out to SWMBO that her pot of stew/soup on the stove has a pretty big krausen.

#300 Everytime you pour a cup of coffee you think, 'hot side aeration'.
 
#301: You're cooking spaghetti for the SWMBO and while you're rinsing off the pasta she asks you, in all seriousness, "How's the sparge going?"
 
#302

The wife ask for your brewing schedule so that she can figure out when to get your attention for the purposed of procreation.
 
Fingers said:
#300 Everytime you pour a cup of coffee you think, 'hot side aeration'.

Actually, up until about a week ago I've been complaining to my wife about how my coffee tastes like soggy cardboard. I've stopped pouring to make it "frothy" and this has stopped. There might actually be something to that. :D
 
#303: Your beer glass collection goes from 3 crappy pint glasses to a plethora of glasses, each of which is tailored to its own specific type of beer, and none of which has ever had anything BUT beer in it.

4688-glasses.jpg


(There are about another dozen glasses that were too far back in the cabinet for me to reach. I'm lazy.)
 
#304 You listen to the waitress at a good resturant ramble on all of the 'beers' (gulp) they have and say.... "Um... I'll just have water with a lemon."
 
Beer Snob said:
#304 You listen to the waitress at a good resturant ramble on all of the 'beers' (gulp) they have and say.... "Um... I'll just have water with a lemon."

You beat me there..

304. You won't pay the $4 - $5 they want at a resturant for their beer because you know at home you have 4 keg of homebrew just waiting.

306. When your worst batch of homebrew is better than what they have on draft at the corner bar.
 
Yuri_Rage said:
#303: Your beer glass collection goes from 3 crappy pint glasses to a plethora of glasses, each of which is tailored to its own specific type of beer, and none of which has ever had anything BUT beer in it.

4688-glasses.jpg


(There are about another dozen glasses that were too far back in the cabinet for me to reach. I'm lazy.)
You have Cass glasses? Why why do you make the poor beer suffer?
 
308. Your out at Target/Penneys (et al) buying quality beer glasses for your inlaws house because you refuse to take your homebrew over there and pour them into tinted blue juice glasses one more time.
 
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