The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Nice! What kind of apples you got in there? Actually reminds me. There's a farm down the street that has an old heirloom orchard in the back. They started selling and maintaining the produce with a driveway stand. Last couple of years they've only been doing charity picking donations to local service families. Been meaning to sign up. Hopefully, I won't forget this year.
 
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I put in a half dozen assorted apple trees a few years ago. This is my first real crop, along with a case of overripe ones I got at the Haymatket. Plus I'll be picking a couple of 5 gallon buckets of crabapples from the ornamental trees at my office later this month to blend in

I also put 15 gallons of water and a few pounds of sugar on the pomace and let them get acquainted. I'll be running that thru a water removal unit some time soon.
 
Stardate 47322.6; the madness is deepening. Fourth day in a row picking up 5 wheelbarrow loads. My current fantasy is that walnuts have an inherent critical mass, at which point they will begin fission, or hopefully fusion, and atomically become a new element. Like pecans. Or Tollhouse chocolate chips. Or Jessica Alba.
1696778861967.png


And still so many to go...

(this is but one of the 6 trees in the yard)
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balrog said:
Stardate 47322.6; the madness is deepening. Fourth day in a row picking up 5 wheelbarrow loads. My current fantasy is that walnuts have an inherent critical mass, at which point they will begin fission, or hopefully fusion, and atomically become a new element. Like pecans. Or Tollhouse chocolate chips. Or Jessica Alba.
View attachment 831170

And still so many to go...

(this is but one of the 6 trees in the yard)
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I used to bake some delicious black walnut cookies. That extract isn’t easy to find anymore.
 
Hoppy2bmerry said:
I used to bake some delicious black walnut cookies. That extract isn’t easy to find anymore.
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Everyone always asks if I eat them. One year I tried. Husking, drying, endless shelling with bench vise and side cutters, and out of two dozen nuts I had a bare palm full of nut meat. Was *NOT* worth the effort.

Now if I could just toss em from the ground into a tub of vodka and have extract, that'd be different, but I doubt it's that straight forward.
 
balrog said:
Everyone always asks if I eat them. One year I tried. Husking, drying, endless shelling with bench vise and side cutters, and out of two dozen nuts I had a bare palm full of nut meat. Was *NOT* worth the effort.

Now if I could just toss em from the ground into a tub of vodka and have extract, that'd be different, but I doubt it's that straight forward.
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I certainly the husking and shelling probably the roasting would still need to take place. Too bad you can’t find someone nearby to buy them. At least get a little something for your “cleanup“ efforts.
 
Oh look! It’s the weekend, so it’s pouring rain. Of course. I did pick up walnuts for 3 hours before/during it started. And kegged a Cascade pale ale.
 

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There are 161,000 duplicate license plates in Massachusetts?
WT actual F?
"upgraded software in 2019 added a stopper that doesn't allow duplicates"

https://www.wcvb.com/article/massachusetts-duplicate-license-plate-problem/45618426#
WHO THE bless PROGRAMMED THIS ISHT TO ALLOW DUPLICATES FROM THE BEGINNING???!!!
That's like the ultimate primary key for a database.

What's next? @paulthenurse gets my same telephone number?!

Shake my head.

<it's so cute when they change f v c k to "bless" on the fly now>
 
Wassup lads?

There needs to be a special place in hell for the *****enozzles who ride on the far righthand side of the road going past all of the folks who are sitting in traffic then they swoop across and force merge into the front of the line.
We should be able to legally pull those f-tards out of their cars and beat them to death. Not only should it be legal, it should be rewarded.

Do ya think the drive in this morning was a **** show?
 
paulthenurse said:
Wassup lads?

There needs to be a special place in hell for the *****enozzles who ride on the far righthand side of the road going past all of the folks who are sitting in traffic then they swoop across and force merge into the front of the line.
We should be able to legally pull those f-tards out of their cars and beat them to death. Not only should it be legal, it should be rewarded.

Do ya think the drive in this morning was a **** show?
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Same goes for the dbags that get out of the rt lane on the CIP then cut everyone off that was waiting to exit for the LIE right at the exit 🤬. Why do you think the exit lane is taking forever you selfish entitled a$$ hole? Sorry your commute sucked. Other than that how’s things?
 
paulthenurse said:
We should be able to legally pull those f-tards out of their cars and beat them to death. Not only should it be legal, it should be rewarded.
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I condone the sentiment entirely.

day_trippr said:
How many walnut trees do you have anyway?
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Six. A seventh is a new small one (suddenly 40' tall) in the blackberry patch area that I have unfortunately ignored and must now render undo rapid oxidation by performing a walnut tree ectomy with surgical chainsaw. What I find ceaselessly interesting is the different walnut trees produce different sized/shaped walnuts. The one (which will also die a horrendous death this Fall) near my hops patch drops lemon shaped walnuts <see image below - the boot shaped object is not a walnut>
1698330033153.png
 
Yikes! Those big'uns look like they'd hurt if you got bonked! :oops:

1698356868718.png


Our chestnuts don't look like the spikey bastid American Chestnuts I grew up with that have apparently all died.
They're maybe half the size of your smallest walnuts there. Squirrels spend all their time stashing acorns (which we had plenty of) and don't seem interested in the chestnuts...

Cheers!
 
Traffic sucks. I missed my cushy office this week and have been on the road all week. Andover Monday (2 hours) and two two hour trips to Cambridge. Holy carp I have spent twelve hours in my flipping car this week and it's only Thursday.
Please make it stop.
 
day_trippr said:
Yikes! Those big'uns look like they'd hurt if you got bonked! :oops:

View attachment 832479

Our chestnuts don't look like the spikey bastid American Chestnuts I grew up with that have apparently all died.
They're maybe half the size of your smallest walnuts there. Squirrels spend all their time stashing acorns (which we had plenty of) and don't seem interested in the chestnuts...

Cheers!
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I grew up w an American chestnut in the back yard. All the neighborhood kids learned very VERY quickly that we'd play whatever in ANYONE else's yard but mine. The spikey balls with superfine needles got in you deep and broke off. Every Fall was brutal. But in the Smoky Mountains you'd hike past giant chestnut trees that had fallen decades before and were surprisingly well preserved. The locals had often built their barns out of chestnut (the locals got 'relocated' when the national park came into being), the barns occasionally would go up on auction and sell for large sums for the chestnut lumber.

Someone near me was trying to revive the American Chestnut through some state grant grassroots something or other, and I jokingly said I'd be happy to follow along behind his planting with a giant container of salt. He was oddly not amused in the least.
 
TheDudeLebowski said:
Some late night reading. I've solved your nut problem @balrog

I've seen a couple of recipes that added maple syrup like treehouse did. They also say aging brings out the walnut nuances. Several mention similarities to Jager 😵‍💫

https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/nocino/
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I appreciate you thinking of me, it is an interesting possibility.
But as much as I dislike picking them up, I can't imagine hauling my aging a$$ up a 70' tree to harvest immature walnuts from the trees.
 
Hello fellow MA brewers!
I've gotten some interest in another brewing ingredients run for before the end of the year (2023), so wanted to reach out here again to see if anyone had any ingredient needs. In case anyone is reading this for the first time and doesn't want to scroll through the comments here's a recap.

If anyone anywhere reasonably drivable from central MA is looking to save some money buying some grains, DME, dry yeast packets, or hops I'm putting together an order through BSG in the next couple weeks. They offer most of their grains in 1, 10, and 50/55 lb sacks, DME in 1, 3, and 50/55 lb bags, and hops in 1 oz, 8 oz, or full lb increments. They offer dry yeast from most of the major manufacturers (Fermentis, Lallemand, Mangrove Jack, etc).

You won't see prices since one can only do that with an account with them, but here are links to their webpages for grains, DME, hops, and dry yeast to check out what they have:
Malt - Grains | Welcome | BSG HandCraft | Wholesale Brewing Supplies For Homebrew
Malt - Extract | Welcome | BSG HandCraft | Wholesale Brewing Supplies For Homebrew
Hops | Welcome | BSG HandCraft | Wholesale Brewing Supplies For Homebrew
Yeast | Welcome | BSG HandCraft | Wholesale Brewing Supplies For Homebrew

If you're interested, please DM me and we can work together to figure out what's best for you. I don't mind working out driving and meeting somewhere. Cheers!
 
Well, there's a limit to my largess.

I needed a particular base malt for a brew I'm doing tomorrow - I'm trying to tune a recipe and didn't want multiple things changing - and I paid through the nose for it at $2.39 a pound. I'm willing to pay that for specialty malts, and I buy all my yeast from the same outfit, but for near generic Rahr base malt that's unsustainable. I typically buy 300 pounds (320, specifically) of base malts annually and I'm not paying that for it.

I'm in on the buy.

Cheers!
 
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