Placental Beer

Did you ever hear about the cannibal who was walking through the jungle when he passed his brother?


(Give it a minute)

Bedlam said:

Hell, protein is protein. That's what I always say.

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Hmm...nah, I'll leave this alone...

viking73 said:

Hmm...nah, I'll leave this alone...

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Someone already did that on American Pie...

I'm horrified and fascinated... this is so much worse than stories of people getting their "red wings." It's typically a good rule that liquids or solids that come out of the human body should not go back in.

For the BJCP certified judges out there. What would you do if you were judging category 23 and the special ingredient was placenta?

I just ate my wife's placenta raw right when it came out. You see, a lot of times when you cook (or even ferment) a food, you lose a lot of nutrients. I suggest just grabbing it and pulling it out with your teeth and don't stop chewing!

Ace_Club said:

You can't tell me that the thought of what human flesh would taste like hasn't crossed your mind. I've wondered, and if the chance came up would take a taste.

Additionally, this is the biggest bonus, in my mind, of the current obesity epidemic. If my plane ever goes down in the Andes, not only do they provide me extra cushioning during the crash, but I could feast like a king.

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You're gonna want a human with some marbling. Like a big one who also moves around a bit.

Luck!

Ace_Club said:

You can't tell me that the thought of what human flesh would taste like hasn't crossed your mind. I've wondered, and if the chance came up would take a taste.

Additionally, this is the biggest bonus, in my mind, of the current obesity epidemic. If my plane ever goes down in the Andes, not only do they provide me extra cushioning during the crash, but I could feast like a king.

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Uhhh... Remind me to never fly with you. You wouldn't think of me as fat, you'd say my meat is "well-marbled". Predator.

I think you should put it on a smoker for a while and do a Smoked Placenta Porter. Or stuff it with hops and brew a IIPA. Good luck!

You could use the Amniotic birthing fluid as the brewing liquor, just set your pale bucket on the floor during birth. Though I don’t know how that would affects the PH of the mash. I am sure it would give it huge character and a very well rounded dimensionality, once you dry hop with the dried placenta.

Beer advocate would blow up with a new ranking system for said beer. Seriously I am grossing myself out, on how this might taste…. I got to go.:cross:

mash in with the amneotic fluid, FW placenta, and dry hop with the **** that comes out while she's pushing that little sucker outta there. that way you get the fetusy birthy flavor as your back bone, and a nice bright fecal aroma.

I motion we refer to aging the beer with placenta as "dry plopping"... any seconds?

TwoDollarBill said:

I motion we refer to aging the beer with placenta as "dry plopping"... any seconds?

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yes!

all opposed

twodollarbill, motion passes dry plopping it is.

My god. I can't believe it. This literally tops everything I have ever read here on HBT, and probably on all of the internets.

That said... You know I would probably boil it and actually cook it with no spices, then use the water in your wort. Since you'll probably vomit in the boil, make sure to allow it to boil at least another hour in order to kill anything off. Geez they could put that on a TV show. Someone call HBO.

OK so I have a placenta in my freezer right now, from my 10 day old who was birthed right here in my own home. The midwives won't throw the placenta out for you... I'll have to "take care of it" myself.

Only problem is my wife wouldn't let me use my brewing buckets to help fill the birthing tub because they were too "dirty". So I didn't catch any of the amniotic fluid! The fact that the buckets have mostly held just sanitizer in them for the last two years seemed lost on her while she was pushing out the baby.

Now, for the record, that **** that comes out with the baby is meconium. Or something. And you'd need plenty of vernix to make it a truly birth day beer.

One last gem. My current facebook picture is a photo of the placenta that the midwife took. It (the placenta) was/is heart-shaped, which seemed pretty special to her. And I thought it would be the most offensive of all the birth photos to choose for my profile pic.

I'm just wondering when do I get to brew again... this baby's already over a week old and no amylase has been active in the basement. Time to get over it and make some beer! At least I kegged the wheat the other day (signature still not updated)

ksbrain said:

Now, for the record, that **** that comes out with the baby is meconium. Or something. And you'd need plenty of vernix to make it a truly birth day beer.

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yeah. that's actually from the baby. i was talking about the actual **** that comes out of the lady when she's pushing. but i didn't think about meconium (is that spelled right?) that brings it to a whole new level. at which point should we add the meconium?

*puke*

Meconium is the word for the babies first poops. That dense black goop you changed the first day or 3 of diaper changes. If meconium came out then the baby pooped in the womb. My first child did this and it made for some concern of the doctor because it can cause respiratory problems with the baby and possible pneumonia if the baby breathes it in. My boy ended up not affected, but we were lucky that they decided to break my wife's water when they did and we found out early.

My wife is due in August...

Maybe animals eat it because it is damn good.

BlackDogBrewing said:

My wife is due in August...

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congrats! (if you really make this, then your dead to me)

Good luck getting your friends to try any of this batch. You can't be serious.

This thread reminded me of another beer I probably wouldn't try:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=23562
Let's just say there's some "wild" yeast in that beer.

Ace_Club said:

First have a baby.
Then brew with the Placenta.
Although cook it first.

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The baby or the placenta..?

Just want to be clear..

I dont know what to say.........

CDGoin said:

The baby or the placenta..?

Just want to be clear..

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Hmm. How did you find this almost two year old thread?

1. You searched for placenta beer. You sick bastard.
2. You've been scrolling for a while and are unemployed.
3. You just cooked a baby.

Which?

Mentioned here.. and well couldn't help myself but to look

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/wo...uve-ever-had-196013/index187.html#post4761510

CDGoin said:

Mentioned here.. and well couldn't help myself but to look

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/wo...uve-ever-had-196013/index187.html#post4761510

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haha, yeah, it's one of those hard to pass up threads.

That is the most vile thing I've ever heard of! Goodluck. Would really appreciate to NOT see the recipe or any other details. lol

I could only

CDGoin said:

The baby or the placenta..?

Just want to be clear..

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Thanks for bumping a dead thread so I could go throw up in the office bathroom!

Wow that was a typo and accidental send. The word was asinine! Soooo the comments are stupid. I'm thinking something like an oyster stout. Use the dehydrated placenta (it's sterile). I would totally try that. Again sorry about the accidental send

Jayhem said:

Thanks for bumping a dead thread so I could go throw up in the office bathroom!

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Your welcome..

Just as you can't unsee things:



You can't unread them either.. figured I would share

o4_srt said:

I just threw up a little bit....

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I just threw up a lot

Life was just a little bit better before i read this thread.