This is when my job gets tough.

Bible belt Oklahoma. Not much happens here that isn't caught by the religious radar.

I am a Plans Examiner (Code Monkey chained to a desk) for my city and was recently graced with an obscure application to review.

The applicant proposes to open a Men's only barbershop in central Okc. Said shop prposes to have a full bar and topless, yes that's right TOPLESS with bikini bottom barberess'.

On the surface this sounds like my kinda place, except that when I did have hair those who cut it weren't much to look at.

Unfortunately, this jurisdiction has so many regulations against bars and "Adult entertainment" that it'll be virtually impossible for anything like this to open and definitely impossible for them to open wher they propose.

They are proposing to locate themselves within 500 foot of a church, 1000 foot from a school and a public park. A restriction they will never get approved no matter how much money they throw at it.

Ah well. What can I do. I am just a monkey regurgitating rules from a book, right?

It's their fault for putting it so close to those two spots. If they were smart they'd put it up in a warehouse somewhere and begin to rake in the money.

Make the sugguestions as to how they may get it passed. Tell them WHY they are being rejected....and how to get it approved.

There was (and still might be) a bar in Tucson that was converted from a church. To keep within the "distance from" regulations, they actually walled off the corner that was too close to a school!

Topless barber shop. Oh man that would be fun.

Honey, I need to go get my hair cut again!

Yeah. I always do make suggestions as to how someone can get approved and we never flat deny an application. Typically, we cite the required corrections needed to allow approval and leave it to the applicant to comply.

Unfortunately, in cases like these the list become long and overwhelming to the point of being prohibitive. The reality of it is that people rarely come in ready to spend a fortune to comply with code and in this case, a bar/club going into an existing non-separated mixed use building (code speak) coupled with local amendments, the new owner would have to sprinkle and bring it to full compliance with accessibility standards. And that is only after they can get the concept compliant with our Zoning codes.

We have had some people propose to build barriers between districts to mitigate impact but, or Zoning department is very strict about the proximity regulation. And if nothing else, Oklahoma has got plenty of schools and churches.

Unfortunately, this one is just gonna go away. Oklahoma just isn't liberal enough for this sort of thing. (sigh)

It's so bad that recently I had an exiting strip club post fire abandonment have new owners and propose a remodel to repair and re-open. the previous owners weren't proactive and failed to comply with requirements that would have allowed it to be grandfathered into it's location. Now, it is being so regulated that the new Owners would be better off to sell it or turn it into a restaurant. Given it's location it wouldn't survive to be anything else.

ohiobrewtus said:

Topless barber shop. Oh man that would be fun.

Honey, I need to go get my hair cut again!

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With a full bar no less. And regulation pool tables to boot. Heck, I am bald and (provided the barberess' were decent) I'd even go in for the frequent trim up.

Last I looked - there is no law placing anything in particular near a church. Or for that matter any laws that prevent opening a bar or adult establishment anywhere near a school. If so, most cities in the US would be in trouble.

While it may not be popular, if you deny the application you are opening up the county for a reverse discriminatory lawsuit.

For example... I for one do not want churches anywhere near my schools as I believe it sets a bad example.

Besides, I have seen these places open before and they never last long. Too expensive for a haircut.

Ah, the old scalp needs another massage hon. Gotta keep the skin from flaking ya know.

JVD_X said:

Last I looked - there is no law placing anything in particular near a church. Or for that matter any laws that prevent opening a bar or adult establishment anywhere near a school. If so, most cities in the US would be in trouble.

While it may not be popular, if you deny the application you are opening up the county for a reverse discriminatory lawsuit.

For example... I for one do not want churches anywhere near my schools as I believe it sets a bad example.

Besides, I have seen these places open before and they never last long. Too expensive for a haircut.

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Different jurisdictiona have different rules.

Here, the Zoning code states that;

- No conditional use permit shall be granted for any proposed location which is within a 1000 foot radius of any other Adult Entertainment Use.

(Kinda kills the concept of the strip)

- No Adult Entertainment Use shall be allowed to locate within a 500 foot radius of any Church, public or private school, or public or private park. No Adult Entertainment Use shall be allowed to locate within a 500 foor radius of any residential district.

- (paraphrased) All dtstances are measured from the nearest 2 adjacent property lines.

Meaning, not even a oversized property gets them a benifit.

Like I said, Bible belt. And we rarely flat out deny an application but in this case the locations proximity won't allow the use unless it was grandfathered. And yeas again, it'd prolly make a ton of money for a little while and then fade away.

ohiobrewtus said:

Topless barber shop. Oh man that would be fun.

Honey, I need to go get my hair cut again!

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But, honey, you're bald! Why do you need another haircut this week?

GilaMinumBeer said:

Different jurisdictiona have different rules.

Here, the Zoning code states that;

- No conditional use permit shall be granted for any proposed location which is within a 1000 foot radius of any other Adult Entertainment Use.

(Kinda kills the concept of the strip)

- No Adult Entertainment Use shall be allowed to locate within a 500 foot radius of any Church, public or private school, or public or private park. No Adult Entertainment Use shall be allowed to locate within a 500 foor radius of any residential district.

- (paraphrased) All dtstances are measured from the nearest 2 adjacent property lines.

Meaning, not even a oversized property gets them a benifit.

Like I said, Bible belt. And we rarely flat out deny an application but in this case the locations proximity won't allow the use unless it was grandfathered. And yeas again, it'd prolly make a ton of money for a little while and then fade away.

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Yea... if it were going to be a very profitable establishment they would have enough money to file a lawsuit. I really don't think you should worry about it. Just approve it and let go out of business. I would bet it doesn't last a year.

JVD_X said:

Yea... if it were going to be a very profitable establishment they would have enough money to file a lawsuit. I really don't think you should worry about it. Just approve it and let go out of business. I would bet it doesn't last a year.

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Ordinarily I would agree. But the application is too obvious and if I did approve it it would be back on my desk within a week and I'd have some serious "splainin" to do to my Bosses and the City Manager. The codes are pretty explicit and there is a Church just down the street and a housing addition behind it, so it couldn't be dumbed up as a mistake.

This job doesn't pay much but it does cover the mortgage and bills. And I'll never get famous or rich doing it but, it does give me time to raise a family.

The irony is that if the applicant hadn't blatently made it obvious both verbally and on the plans that there was toplessness, they could have easily told me it is nothing more than a pool hall with a bar and it would be approvable by the Zoning code. They'd still have to install a sprinkler system but at least they could locate there. Now, it's too late for them on Zoning. Word has spread about it and the higher ups know. I have advised them that they could open as such (pool hall/bar) but, would be under scrutiny by offcials and that if reports came back of them operating under the topless business plan they'd most likely see big fines and be ordered to "cease and dissist".

It's too bad because it really is a mundane proposal. They don;t intend for people to come in, stay and drink (as in a strip bar) it really is about tits-ana-haircut.

Me personally, I'd be interested if they offered a shave service. I can;t imagine it'd be too easy to kepp the bewbies from making contact.

"Oh, Sorry honey it just happened into my open mouth"

I digress.

I cut my own hair and have been pestering SWMBO to perform this service for me. She ain't buying it. Maybe I'll show this to her and say, hey, then I'll just head on down to Okie for a haircut.

The divorce papers will be waiting when I return.

If I were bald and one of these opened near me, I'd grow a beard. Anything to get in there for a trim.

OH MY GOSH! I have had this idea for a while now! Strippers who cut your hair, or at the very least bikini clad women. If there was a place where hot scantally clad women cut my hair while I enjoyed a beer, I would every time I needed a hair cut. Someone beat me to the punch!!

Did they even look at the local codes when they sent in the application? I mean seriously.

Dang! I live in OKC and would love this. Even though I shave my head I bet i could go in for a quick "trim" on occasion and a beer. I have an idea, I would be willing to let them use my garage


SD

There is a place in San Francisco. They ran a ton of ads on the radio then...silent. The guys that ran it were trying to franchise it.

they modeled it after a high end social club.
Not topless as far as I know.

MR

Freezeblade said:

Did they even look at the local codes when they sent in the application? I mean seriously.

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Most don't know what a code is when it's spelled out for them. Am I am talking strictly about the engineers and architects.

[/ducks and runs]

Half the time when I forward commentary to an applicant they don;t call asking what it means, they call to confirm that they can buy their permit now. And, especially regarding the general public, they will bring the commentary up to buy their permit having never read the commentary.

Of course with the general public I understand to a degree but when this is done by the licensed pro's it's mindnumbing.

bald guys would go in there with a tupe' (sp?) to get some trim...... um i mean get a trim.