Getting SWMBO to like beer

My SWMBO loves to brew with me and comes from a family that drinks a lot of beer, but she detests the beverage herself. It's just the bitterness that gets to her, I think. She actually really wants to like beer, probably because she likes to make it with me and she grew up with adults around her drinking beer. So my question is: how do I get her to like beer? I was thinking of brewing a really bitter and hoppy IPA and having her choke a bottle down every night with the hope that by the end of 5 gallons she would either like it, or other beers would seem less bitter by comparison.

Why not try a scotch ale? Or a lambic? Or a hefeweizen?

Does she dislike all beer? What about a mild? Or a really good malty bitter? Or a porter, cream ale, (insert style here)? Find what she dislikes the least and what she really can't stand, and figure out from that what characteristics she likes and what she doesn't. Then ease her into the world of beer as a whole.

It might be hard if she has a very coolers-and-cocktails palate. If she's into others of the superficially-unpleasant-but-ultimately-awesome tastes, like sharp cheese or whatever, then I bet she'll come 'round.

There are some people, though, who you just know are write-offs. Too much milk and sugar in their coffee, ketchup, processed cheese, the pachelbel canon, the ones whose tastes haven't expanded since nine years old. I guess I'm being an EAC, but you know what I mean.

I like the IPA idea. I've been training my roommate to like jazz by tying him down and playing the New Thing at him for an hour every night. Suddenly, he doesn't mind Mingus so much.

My fiance is not a beer drinker at all, but she really enjoys a well made stout (not guiness) or porter. And strangely enough, she loves SNPA.

I suggest getting her to try a good flavourful porter or stout. Something chocately always seems to work.

Another option to ween her onto hops... Make a beer with 6-10 IBU's from a first wort hop, then dry hop it with an ounce or so of noble hops. Let her get the flavor without the bitterness and she might start to appreciate hops more.

In fact, I have a beer where I did just that and the few chicks that tried it were all quite intrigued by the flavor. That's when I would take out a pellet or a leaf of hops and have them roll it in their palms and sniff.... Their eyes open and they say something like, "Wow.. I have a totally new appreciation for this beer ingredient... I had no idea where that smell and taste came from before...."

Once you can identify it and name it, you start to welcome it a little bit more... It's not because you suddenly like it, but because you are suddenly able to recognize something that few (non-homebrewing) beer drinkers have ever appreciated as thoroughly. Think about it. In a matter of two sips and one sniff of hops, a girl (or guy) can truly appreciate hops more than 99.9% of the BMC-swilling fools ever will. That's quite a long journey for a minute's worth of experimentation.

It gives the chicks an insight that makes them feel all smart and sophisticated. They've unlocked a secret to beer and, even if they don't love it (yet), they have learned to recognize it and appreciate it... from there, loving it is the next step....

IMHO, I would try buying a few styles of beer you think she might like before brewing your next batch. Then try to clone that style of beer.

I think the problem here is that you're only picking out a select type of beer. Lets face it, as yummy as hoppy beers are they are only a smaller percentage of the different types of beers out there. I say you proceed like some others suggested and let her try a few of the more mild styles (Wheat, Wit, Mild Pale, Stout) and see if she can appreciate the more subtle styles before moving on to a hop bomb.

mew said:

My SWMBO loves to brew with me and comes from a family that drinks a lot of beer, but she detests the beverage herself. It's just the bitterness that gets to her, I think. She actually really wants to like beer, probably because she likes to make it with me and she grew up with adults around her drinking beer. So my question is: how do I get her to like beer? I was thinking of brewing a really bitter and hoppy IPA and having her choke a bottle down every night with the hope that by the end of 5 gallons she would either like it, or other beers would seem less bitter by comparison.

Click to expand...

As mentioned in some of the other posts, try a Lambic, Hefe weiss, english brown, ESB, or maybe a Scottish ale. She might not like the hoppy beers.

I buying new beers all the time. There is bound to be a style or specific brew that tickles her fancy. I introduce most of my women friends to beer with saison style Belgians, farmhouse ales, or tripels. This has worked very well for me and I have brought many of my wifes friends to appreciate beer and even order it for themselves every once and a while.

Make the Caramel Cream ale recipe.
It has a bunch of lactose in it so it is more sweet than bitter but don't do it if she is lactose intolerant or I can guarantee she'll hate beer forever.

I just made it and it's almost to sweet for me...I said almost.

You just need to face the facts:

Some people can see better than others, some people can hear better and some people have a keener sense of taste.

If you wife doesn't like the the bitter taste of hops then she dosen't like it, period...

Women for the most part have a keener sense of taste than men and perticularly so where bitterness is concerned.

But beer has many different tastes and brewing your own allows you to take advantage of that.

Beer is basically a sweet drink and hops are added to make it less so.

Mash at a higher temp if she likes sweet taste and leave the hops out or use less especially the bittering hops.

Also your choice of a yeast that attenuates less will cause the beer to be sweeter.

Have her try stuff like Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde, Sam Adam's Cherry or Double Bock there also Sweetwater's Blue (Blueberry ale) see if she likes any of those.

Kolsch worked well on mine. Her beer consumption in the past was limited to BMC light beers, and being the EAC that I am, this would no longer do. Pale ales, hefewiessen, all of these things she drank, but never really enjoyed. Until I brought home a Reissdorf Kolsch. She loved it so much I barely got to taste it. Later that week, I was at the brewshop picking up the ingredients for EdWort's Bee Cave Kolsch. Another good one to buy for her to try is the Hitachino White...


+1 on the Belgian Tripple

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think I'll buy a whole bunch of individual bottles of various styles, there's bound to be something she likes. I also like the idea of dryhopping a low IBU beer to separate flavor from bitterness (that'd be a fun experiment for me, too).

My wife (who drinks all types of beer and brews) has an interesting theory on why some women don't like certain beers. It's a generalization and unsupported by evidence but it is a very good theory nevertheless.

Think about women's perfume versus men's.

Women's perfume tends to be light and floral, sometimes just a hint of sweetness. Very much like an IPA and many other types of hoppy beers.

Men's perfume (sorry, cologne :cross: ) tends to be more musky, woodsy, more rustic. Very much like a real ale or other casked or oaked brew.


Many women (as well as plenty of men) suffer from years of marketing by various corporations. They have been indoctrinated into thinking that they should not be able to "taste their alcohol" and that beer is just another alcohol delivery device.

Lastly, for the people who say they prefer wine don't necessarily like wine, they just dislike the social image of other alcoholic beverages. The erroneous term "beer gut" alone does more disservice to the industry than any other and is perhaps responsible for the flood of disgusting (but non-fattening! ) "light" beers on the market today.


So here's a few things to try:

If she is sexually secure and hetero-, give her a good oaked brew. Be sure to emphasize that it isn't a "manly" beer but to think of it more as making out with a good-smelling man. People relate memories/fantasies most strongly to their sense of smell and the mental connection may be enjoyable to her. Good oaked ale is tough to get in the US, I'll grant you, but if you can get your hands on, say, Innis & Gunn, give it a try.

If she is very girly (I won't say lesbian but perhaps just very buddy-buddy with her girlfriends as some women tend to be), give her a very floral, aromatic brew. Highly-hopped beer is often bitter so a less-intense beer such as, say, Fat Tire, might be a better place to start. Again, be sure to tell her to be very aware of the aroma. The mental equation may be to good times/friendship as above.



If all else fails, use fire.

Er, I mean, brew mead.
It's impossible to object to good mead.


ETA: Do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, pay money for Sam Adam's Cherry Wheat. :wretch: It's like Bud Light with Robitussin added for flavor. SA makes some great beer but that one is unfathomably horrid.

-IMHO-

Keep serving her a low IBU blonde but add progressively larger doses of hop extract over time. All of a sudden, she'll be drinking an IPA.

My wife doesn't like hops, but she likes stuff that's on the sweet side, or stuff that's real malty. Bocks, Imperial Stouts, even some malty brown ales. She'll drink APAs if they're not too bitter. She's Irish, so Guiness is a given.

Have her try different beers, don't just force hoppy stuff on her or she'll never want to try any of your beers. Maybe a light wheat beer, with or without fruit?

I started with wheat beers, which she still enjoys. Hoegaarden and Franziskaner were successful. I don't know how it happened, but now she loves SNPA and Brooklyn Lager. She actually looks for them on draft and lets me know when places have them. Its nice sharing good beer...

My SWMBO is traditionally a Mich Lt. girl...since I've been brewing there has been much more variety of beer in the house. Still-she has a really hard time getting to like my beers and many of the craft beers I bring in the house.

I've come to realize though, that her palate sharply recognizes the difference between lagers and ales. She has come to really like Dortmunders and Marzens. IPAs, Belgians, Stouts etc...will make her gag. It reminds me of a book I read on beer in America and it noted how the lager revolution really made beer more attractive to a larger audience. SWMBO likes beer to taste better than BMC, but she still likes it to be a lager..specifically sweet, malty lagers.

I doubt if she'll ever like all the beers I like (or brew), but she's definitely expanded her palate. It's just a testament to the variety of different styles.

Yup. My SWMBO likes Doppelbocks and Oktoberfests... malty lagers...

She'd probably like a kolsch (I don't know how to make an ümlaut o). There's a lot of malty beers out there. Or just do something that's easy to start with, say a cherry wheat ale or something.

I've been having a similar problem. My girlfriend hates all my carefully crafted bitters and IPA's (the styles I most often produce for my own preference); foregoing them for MOLSON and PBR!! I had eventually resigned to the "oh well, more for me" state of mind. This was recently changed when I became interested in Scotch ales (not Scottish). I picked up the best locally available representative I could find (Skullsplitter) and was delighted when she took a sip from my glass and immediately demanded one for herself. Now my primary room is 10 degrees colder, my boils are hours long, my worries of acquiring enough hops relinquished, and my hopes of producing beer that we can equally enjoy is restored. I suggest asking yourself... "Is my girl a wee heavy girl?". I know mine is, and I'm cool with it.

When I first started drinking "good" beer here in the US, I went to mostly amber ales. They seemed most like what I thought of as a normal beer should be. Of course, that was before I became a hophead. Still, the amber ales and the lighter English browns are what I first started with. Maybe give that a try!