Why?!

CornyKegs 728
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my favorite part in that movie is when Bart & Waco Kid are hiding behind the rock, "Hey boys! Look what I got over here!" and "Somebody's gotta go back and get a s*** load of dimes."
 
I like the part where he tells Harvey Corman's character,"dang,you use your tongue purtier than a $20 whore!". or"I paid you guys to get a little work done,lay some track,not jump around like a bunch of Kansas City ******s!".:tank:
 
dkwolf said:
Yep. As long as you're not lifting a leg and leaning (or rattling the windows), you should be able to crack a few off on a date no problem. I used to be able to tell you at a glance if a certain piece of furniture (say, for instance, a couch) was going to 'hold' one for you*, or if you'd soon be basking in your own glory.

It helps if you can time 'em with an excuse - say the waiter taking the order at the table next to you, passing a farm while driving, etc. You can sometimes blame the dog - but only if she hasn't experienced your dog's farts yet. (My lab has a very distinct "brand". Will water your freaking eyes.)

*I had an armchair in my dorm in college...thing was great. You could drop the nastiest, foulest, most unholy bomb known to man in that thing, and not smell it a bit. But god help the next poor sap to flop down in that chair - it'd release the last two weeks worth it had been holding. You always GENTLY sat down in that thing. Every time we had women coming over, that thing got a full BOTTLE of Febreeze.
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I've become lactose intolerant. If I get a hold of a few glasses of milk, I don't care what you try to do, the entire block is going to know about it.

Oh, and my wife is all too familiar with this smell. There is no blaming it on anything else but me.
 
unionrdr said:
I like the part where he tells Harvey Corman's character,"dang,you use your tongue purtier than a $20 whore!". or"I paid you guys to get a little work done,lay some track,not jump around like a bunch of Kansas City ******s!".:tank:
Click to expand...

WATCH ME FAGG0TS!

Throw up your hands/Stick out your tush/Hands on your hips/Give 'em a push/You'll be surprised, you're doing the French Mistake/Voila!
 
Inkleg said:
Haven't met my wife, have you.
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Or my sister in law after some dried fruit!

I like to tell the perpetrator that "their voice has changed but the breath's the same" when their expulsions are loud.

Me, I crop dust the shopping aisles when the wife makes me go to the store with her.
 
Maybe this explains some of the esters I'm getting in my beer. "Is it oxidized? No. Skunked by light? No. ... oh, wait ... it's two week old burrito ... bean and cheese, I believe."
 

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