So apparently I am an ash hole...

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sonofgrok

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I am currently pursuing a PhD so I have had very little social contact in the last year and a half or so. I guess all my social prowess went out the window during this time.

This last weekend we were invited to a get together with some long time friends of ours. Very educated, articulate, intelligent and enjoyable people. They have a HUGE wine collection and the whole thing was one big fancy food and great wine tasting event.

Anyway, I sent them a casual "Thanks. Great time. Hope I wasn't an ass" half joking comment. The response was that I apparently was sure to let everyone know how educated I was and how discerning my tastes were. The whole thing kept blowing up until I was a full blown, self absorbed, conceited, jerk.

I was kinda buzzed but I really didn't think I was that bad. If anything, I felt more like I was trying to live up to the class of everyone else there. Instead, apparently, I was rubbing in everyone's face how much better than them I was. Not my intention at all.

So apparently I am an *******.

Just because I know I am better than everyone else... it is never my intention to rub it in anyone's face.
 
If anything, I felt more like I was trying to live up to the class of everyone else there. Instead, apparently, I was rubbing in everyone's face how much better than them I was. Not my intention at all

Well there's the problem. You were trying to be what you thought you should be.

You should be yourself.

Then if people don't like you it's based on who you are and you know that it doesn't matter because you are who you are and you don't need to worry about people that don't like it.
 
I am currently pursuing a PhD so I have had very little social contact in the last year and a half or so. I guess all my social prowess went out the window during this time.


So apparently I am an *******.

Just because I know I am better than everyone else... it is never my intention to rub it in anyone's face.

LOL! :D They feel intimidated. Don't sweat it. "Just keep on truckin'" as my bunch used to say. PhD. Good fer ya. :)
 
Well there's the problem. You were trying to be what you thought you should be.

You should be yourself.

Then if people don't like you it's based on who you are and you know that it doesn't matter because you are who you are and you don't need to worry about people that don't like it.

I wouldn't say I wasn't being myself. Maybe just expressing those aspects of my self more ;)

For example, I brought home made sake and when one dude learned I was a brewer, he tried to vomit all his knowledge on me. When I disagreed, it probably came across as snobbish.
 
Life's too short to try to be someone you are not so be your self and if people can't see you and enjoy you for who you are they're the ********;)
 
Takes one to know one, and I'm okay with that. :mug:

[ame="http://youtu.be/UrgpZ0fUixs"]http://youtu.be/UrgpZ0fUixs[/ame]
 
Takes one to know one, and I'm okay with that. :mug:

I used to love to park in handicap spaces. Then the ADA declared everyone handicapped and it became legal. Not so fun anymore.

It seems that the only way to piss anyone off these days is to pay taxes...
 
I wouldn't say I wasn't being myself. Maybe just expressing those aspects of my self more ;)

For example, I brought home made sake and when one dude learned I was a brewer, he tried to vomit all his knowledge on me. When I disagreed, it probably came across as snobbish.

Did he have any 'decent' info to spew at you, or was it all outdated trub?? :D

You probably like me more BECAUSE i'm an *******...
I should add... I am ok with that.

I've gotten to the point where I really don't care if [or when] people think I'm an ******* (or worse). :eek: I do try to reign myself in when I'm at work, though. More for self preservation than anything else. Even then, though, I sometimes can't help it. :D

BTW, when people are talking like morons, it's hard to not treat them as such. :eek: :D

At least you weren't describing how to hunt, kill (shoot), field dress, then cook a deer to a bunch of anti-gun vegans. :eek:
 
Sweet... I passed through your open arms, non picky filter. I feel so accomplished right now... :p

Well, I could quote Bob here. When I said, "One of my imaginary friends thinks he's an *******", Bob in all seriousness replied, "Well, at least he has some self awareness!"

I guess it's good to know you're an *******, as most people who ARE there seem to be totally oblivious to that fact.

You might be a jerk, still. But you're at least aware of that. A jerk who thinks he's charming (and you know who they are!) is really worse.
 
Well, I could quote Bob here. When I said, "One of my imaginary friends thinks he's an *******", Bob in all seriousness replied, "Well, at least he has some self awareness!"

I guess it's good to know you're an *******, as most people who ARE there seem to be totally oblivious to that fact.

You might be a jerk, still. But you're at least aware of that. A jerk who thinks he's charming (and you know who they are!) is really worse.

I'm charming like a mutha*&%^$*&%*
 
Don't worry about it. Just be truthful to yourself about who you are.

It's likely you're not an ahole, but perhaps you are uncomfortable around others.

I'm very awkward in social scenes, so I avoid them as much as possible. I can't even go to my beer club because of this. Sooner or later we all have to accept who we are and just play that hand.
 
Yeah, definitely a self absorbed ash... Haha. Where are you doing your work?

Here in NM for now. Next semester though will start doing field sampling in Alaska or Antarctica hopefully. Irrelevant to whether or not I am an a-hole though.

Not a woe is me thread. More of an observation. Like... "The sky is blue? Never noticed that before". Or I HAVE noticed it, just never admitted it. OR... wow this is getting deep lol.
 
Stuff like this happens to me occasionally too, where I try to correct someone's misunderstanding of something and they get defensive about it. I do my best to be as non-threatening & non-confrontational as possible, but some people don't take well to that no matter how gentle it is. Everyone's seen it a hundred times on these forums. My guess is you might not have been a jerk, they just felt threatened by correction (especially public correction).

In those kinds of situations I try to step away--they are obviously more interested in saving face than in gaining knowledge, and I can live with that. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with sticking it out, and I don't think people who do are a$$holes. It's just that my preference is to not escalate things if I know it's not going to go anywhere but to more arguing.
 
Here in NM for now. Next semester though will start doing field sampling in Alaska or Antarctica hopefully. Irrelevant to whether or not I am an a-hole though.

Not a woe is me thread. More of an observation. Like... "The sky is blue? Never noticed that before". Or I HAVE noticed it, just never admitted it. OR... wow this is getting deep lol.

That sounds great! Hopefully your group keeps the funds rolling. I only make the ash crack as a fellow phd student myself. Does it seem like the further you go along, the less you understand your old friends, family members (non spouse), general public, ect...? It seems like climbing the thought ladder has driven at least something of a small wedge between myself, and myself a few years ago.

On another note, on a scale of 1-10, how much do you enjoy the question "How much time before you graduate?", where 1=:mad: and 10=:) ..lol
 
This is why I hate talking to people about stuff I know at parties and what not. I either have to dumb everything down, or bite my tongue when someone pretends to know something about it... And the ******* inside me just won't let that happen.

It is refreshing when I find someone that either does know what they're talking about, or doesn't bull**** and doesn't mind learning.
 
^^^^

I totally agree! I can't stand know it alls that know nothing at all. I just walk away thinking wow you're an idiot, And never have a conversation with them again!
 
^^^^

I totally agree! I can't stand know it alls that know nothing at all. I just walk away thinking wow you're an idiot, And never have a conversation with them again!

You must never have to work with/deal with upper management. :eek: Try explaining things to a VP of IT that doesn't have a clue about current technology. :smack: Bad enough having to dumb things down for mom, or my sister, or BIL (who has a computer science/programming degree but can't do much to fix a system, or properly set one up), but to have to for most of IT management just sucks donkey balls. :drunk:
 
Just make sure they know to refer to you as "Doctor" when you're finished with school..
 
Something about this thread made me think of this.

The first test of a truly great man is his humility. By humility I don't mean doubt of his powers or hesitation in speaking his opinion, but merely an understanding of the relationship of what he can say and what he can do.
John Ruskin
 
I was sure I don't care what people think of me, but tonight someone replied to one of my posts with,"nice post"'. Paranoia sets in and I wonder is he being sarcastic, and calling me an ash hole, or was he complimenting my post? My lack of sleep tells me I care.
 
Yooper said:
I'm married to a (retired) biologist. Biologists are HOT.

Ok, maybe not so much. But he's interesting, I'll say that!

:p

We'll make sure Bob knows you think he used to be hot :)
 
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