Three way switch.

I wired a three way switch in my kitchen about four years ago. A few days ago I tried to wire a receptacle to the passive side (New electrical jargon) Yeah, i know it won't be live ALL the time.

It failed. I'm assuming that I wired it up wrong in the first place.

I have been bottling 20 gallons of bitter this morning, and have naturally tasted frequently during that time. Long story short, I'm a bit smashed and have therefore decided that it would be a good time to tackle some electricity in order to hone my skills as a functional alcoholic.

Now, I can already hear you guys mentioning the Darwin awards and saying things like "Don't turn off the main switch, I want to see you light up" But seriously, What could possibly go wrong?

As far as I understand it, electricity is my friend. Beer is also my buddy. Electricity powers my TV, it lights my lights, and it even powers that replacement willy that stands in for me when i'm too drunk to bother with all that jiggly stuff....So, Getting two of my best friends together for a party with me can only lead to a good time with fun for all of us, right?

PS Although I have no understanding of electricity, I am not asking for advice. This is a beer forum and I'm not so stupid as to ask for electrical advice to ask the opinions of a bunch of drunks before I put the damp towel insulators on the floor.

Gnome
Go outside and run around in the snow. When your shoes are covered in snow and your socks are soaking wet, take your beer buddy over to your new found electrical friend. Take a LARGE swill of beer buddy, grab the switch by the horns (white wire then black wire). enjoy the ride.

Oh before you do any of that...

PTN to isle 9....PTN to isle 9.....man needing drunken electrical advice.

you're gonna need guns too. and some bullets. maybe shoot at the switch when you're drunk. that should fix it probably.

Sounds like a plan. Remember, electrons are very small, you could totally kick their asses.

chainsawbrewing said:

you're gonna need guns too. and some bullets. maybe shoot at the switch when you're drunk. that should fix it probably.

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My favourite word in that whole post was the word "Probably"

I need to find a gun. I'm gonna look for a crack dealer. I'm sure a crack dealer would lend me a gun!

IrregularPulse said:

Sounds like a plan. Remember, electrons are very small, you could totally kick their asses.

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The sub atomic level is totally impossible to understand when I'm sober. You think those little buggars are gonna behave any better when I'm lit? Shame on you sir! You are trying to shift me to a half dimension!

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

The sub atomic level is totally impossible to understand when I'm sober. You think those little buggars are gonna behave any better when I'm lit? Shame on you sir! You are trying to shift me to a half dimension!

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You have to remember that because the electrons have a "small man complex" they work in a gang type mentality. They also have a nasty knack for finding the weakest link in the chain (in this situation it's a drunken Gnome). They will hit you and hit you hard. It's what they do and they find great pleasure in it.

your title is mis-leading

This is going to be epic. Guaranteed.

humann_brewing said:

your title is mis-leading

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I was thinking that to, but quite frankly I don't want to know WHAT kind of experimenting Gnome does in a MMF threeway.

I currently have a light fitting on my counter top and some funny looking wires hanging out of my ceiling.

I feel a party coming on!

If you have a gun then you don't need to do the electrical work yourself, go find an electrician and make him do it.

webcam.....? please....

At least tell your wife your login so we can all do a brew in your honor.

IrregularPulse said:

At least tell your wife your login so we can all do a brew in your honor.

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No need! All I have to do is connect the black wire with the white wire. I'm not sure what I will do with the blue and purple wires, but I'm sure they will work it out between themselves.

Is it normal to have a burning smell when the circuit is switched off? I'm guessing yes.

You know, I always kinda figured that you'd have a jury trial before you died by electrocution.

Just remember, it's always best to work with the breaker on, that way you know right away if you did it right (lights are on etc) or if you did it wrong (it hurts...).

Also if you are ever stripping phone wires with your teeth, make sure you are not about to get a phone call, that hurts too.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

No need! All I have to do is connect the black wire with the white wire. I'm not sure what I will do with the blue and purple wires, but I'm sure they will work it out between themselves.

Is it normal to have a burning smell when the circuit is switched off? I'm guessing yes.

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When I was an apprentice, they always told us that the main rule was to never let the smoke out of the wires.



Seriously,though, if you want some help figuring out the wiring, PM me.

conpewter said:

Just remember, it's always best to work with the breaker on, that way you know right away if you did it right (lights are on etc) or if you did it wrong (it hurts...)

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You know, when I was working with my electrician, I was surprised because he told me that they hardly ever turn off the breakers. Too much trouble to go all the way into the basement. So, act like a pro!

Of course, he also tried killing me twice, once by leaving a hot wire for me to Sawzall through in a wall I removed, and a second time by turning the breaker where I was changing out an outlet. No wonder he worked so cheap!

the_bird said:

You know, when I was working with my electrician, I was surprised because he told me that they hardly ever turn off the breakers. Too much trouble to go all the way into the basement. So, act like a pro!

Of course, he also tried killing me twice, once by leaving a hot wire for me to Sawzall through in a wall I removed, and a second time by turning the breaker where I was changing out an outlet. No wonder he worked so cheap!

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I never turn off breakers.

kjung said:

Seriously,though, if you want some help figuring out the wiring, PM me.

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When have you known Gnome to be serious? Even his 'serious' posts contain the ravings of a madman.

Any one have his phone number? Call his wife and have her turn the light switch on and off as he's connecting the wires. Make sure the breaker is on also.

I'm still here.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

I'm still here.

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well then you're doing it wrong...

50% of the switches are now working correctly. Jesus H Christ, that should be enough, shouldn't it?

1 out of 2 is a win compared to batting zero, no?

kjung said:

I never turn off breakers.

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why go all the way to the basement, when you can trip em upstairs right?

a friend and i were helping a neighbor sort down a wiring issue. it was hot, and i asked the guy for a glass of water. he brings it to me, and asks, what's that for? i said, to find what circuit this outlet is on.

OK!!! I got the 3-way switching thing working properly again. I have to admit that I was a bit surprised when I connected two wires and the fooking light came on right in front of my face!!! what the hell though, that's happened before now.

Now, I just gotta get those outlets working right.


Did I ever mention that I'm doing all this just so that SWMBO has an extra place to plug in her laptop so that she can play Sims 3 wherever the hell she is in the house? I think in future I will just look for a new missus.

Silly gnome, Laptops have batteries. Just buy her a pack of triple A's and let her figure it out.

Light up Gnomes:



Best of luck!

I still don't have this working right. I don't want SWMBO coming home and thinking I've been drinking beer all day!

I still have some whiskey left over from Christmas. A glass of that should help to get the electricity flowing in the right direction(s)

Anyone know how many volts are in a glass of Jack Daniels? I have a small bottle of moonshine, maybe that would work better? Crap, this technical crap truly befuddles me!!

PS One step forward, 3 steps back. I now have the rest of the kitchen back online. I neglected to mention my steps back.

uglygoat said:

why go all the way to the basement, when you can trip em upstairs right?

a friend and i were helping a neighbor sort down a wiring issue. it was hot, and i asked the guy for a glass of water. he brings it to me, and asks, what's that for? i said, to find what circuit this outlet is on.

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That's the beauty of a conduit system. I just have to ground the hot to the box to trip the breaker.

conpewter said:

Also if you are ever stripping phone wires with your teeth, make sure you are not about to get a phone call, that hurts too.

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HAHAHA. That made me laugh out loud. I actually saw that once. Had an electrician try to fix our phone at work. Saw the wire that was nearly broken and went to strip it back. The guy was a bit of a jokester, so when we saw him do a little dance, we thought he was messing with us, so we laughed at him. It wasn't until he told us that someone was trying to call us (in a rather p*ssed off voice) that we realized what really happened, and caused us to laugh harder.

Brew-Happy said:

Light up Gnomes:

Best of luck!

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LGI...is that anything like what the misses uses as "that replacement willy" when you're away?

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

The sub atomic level is totally impossible to understand when I'm sober. You think those little buggars are gonna behave any better when I'm lit? Shame on you sir! You are trying to shift me to a half dimension!

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That's just fine because all that stuff about electrons moving from one point to another is complete BS. Electrical equipment all runs on smoke that is inside the different components. Once you let the smoke out, they stop working.

I thought this thread was going to be about something completely different.

5 hours...no sign...it may be a eulogy.

All things have smoke inside them. It takes varying degrees of talent, skill, voltage, and current to release the smoke. If at first you don't succeed, try applying less talent and skill, more beer, and more power. Living things tend to harbor stinky smoke that burns the nose and attracts law enforcement officials. However, inanimate objects sometimes contain both smoke and amazing multi-colored light shows. Trial, error, and 240VAC are your friends. If you notice that the smoke is actually coming from you, try to relax. It shouldn't last long.

The hot wire to the outlet goes on one of the BLACK dots. Not the yellow ones.

In the case of your switch, I'm betting you have two brass screws and a nickel one. The nickel one is the one you want.

It turned out that what I was trying to do was impossible even with beer. That's the first time I ever found a problem that beer could not solve.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

That's the first time I ever found a problem that beer could not solve.

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Funny... I thought you said you were married.