Chuck Norris

Google find Chuck Norris and hit the I'm feeling lucky button.:rockin:

For the next item up for bid, try french military victories and clicking I'm Feeling Lucky.

Those are both very entertaining.

The Chuck Norris facts phenomenon has always puzzled me. One would think these jokes could have been applied to any '80s or '90s tv action hero, yet Chuck Norris won out. Would these jokes have worked equally well on Jean Claude Van Dam (sp?), Mr. T, Hulk Hogan, Steven Seagul, or that dude who played Highlander? They're all tough guys from the same era as Norris, right? Is Chuck more of a "B" actor so it works better? Anyways, I thought it was damn funny when someone interviewed him about he's newfound celebrity and all he really had to say was that jesus was the only true badass. I'm not dissing his religion, but come on, he should have been hamming it up and playing along with the gag! I think it just left a lot of fans dissappointed.

Chuck Norris once ate two 72oz steaks in an hour................


He spent the first 45min having sex with the waitress

Well if you ask me... it's because Chuck Norris was the REAL DEAL, not just some idiot actror that wanted be badass like Steven Segal and the rest of them.

look it up

Bruce Lee was the only badder ass and he died before he could become a god...

Real Deal? wuteva. Chuck Norris was a washed up hack-tor who, despite his ability to perform high roundhouse kicks in his specially-crafted roundhouse-kick-jeans, had been relegated to terrible cable programming (Walker, Texas Ranger) and Total Gym ads.

Then, an internet meme saved him, revived his standing in the world, turned his career around to the point where he was on the campaign trail with presidential candidates.

And then, someone writes a fictional parody book about the whole "super badass" meme that revived his career...and what does the "real deal" do?

He turns around and sues them. Chuck Norris is a *****ewaddle.

"*****ewaddle." Feeling creative this morning, eh?

Can any word be used as a modifier? Maybe I'll start using the term "*****eboat", or "*****emug." Say, that's got a ring to it. "Chuck Norris is a *****emug."

Evan! said:

Real Deal? wuteva. Chuck Norris was a washed up hack-tor who, despite his ability to perform high roundhouse kicks in his specially-crafted roundhouse-kick-jeans, had been relegated to terrible cable programming (Walker, Texas Ranger) and Total Gym ads.

Then, an internet meme saved him, revived his standing in the world, turned his career around to the point where he was on the campaign trail with presidential candidates.

And then, someone writes a fictional parody book about the whole "super badass" meme that revived his career...and what does the "real deal" do?

He turns around and sues them. Chuck Norris is a *****ewaddle.

Click to expand...

AHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

Oh Evan, Evan, Evan.. he's 68 years old and would still hand you YOUR ARSE!


I'm not saying he wasn't a hack actor, I am saying he was a REAL black belt master that won many competitions, taught many others how to fight and is a walking, talking legend.

It's sad to see his "walker" days when he reduced himself to a joke, but I guess Jimi would have ended up the same way at 60 years old, playing small clubs and pubs, after having once been a master of his art.

they say that behind chuck norris' beard is another fist.

MrFebtober said:

"*****ewaddle." Feeling creative this morning, eh?

Can any word be used as a modifier? Maybe I'll start using the term "*****eboat", or "*****emug." Say, that's got a ring to it. "Chuck Norris is a *****emug."

Click to expand...

i prefer *****enozzle, but I wouldn't say that to chuck norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite

Chuck Norris Bites Frost..

PeteOz77 said:

AHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

Oh Evan, Evan, Evan.. he's 68 years old and would still hand you YOUR ARSE!


I'm not saying he wasn't a hack actor, I am saying he was a REAL black belt master that won many competitions, taught many others how to fight and is a walking, talking legend.

It's sad to see his "walker" days when he reduced himself to a joke, but I guess Jimi would have ended up the same way at 60 years old, playing small clubs and pubs, after having once been a master of his art.

Click to expand...

I never said he couldn't kick my ass. He most assuredly could. But whether or not he can kick my ass has little bearing on his ********* status. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are king-kong super-*****ebags and can also whip me in a fight. Doesn't really make 'em less of a *********. Ken Lay might've been a kung fu master...would that have made him any less of a ******?

I wouldn't have such a problem with him were it not for the fact that he sued over that which revived his status above a washed up hack. It's not like I begrudge the man for being relegated in his later years to crappy cable teevee and hocking exercise equipment on infomercials at 3am. Hell, if someone was willing to pay me good money to do an infomercial, I'd not turn them down. It's just the whole "bite the hand that feeds you" thing with the lawsuit that sticks in my craw.

Evan! said:

It's just the whole "bite the hand that feeds you" thing with the lawsuit that sticks in my craw.

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I agree with that sentiment, however, suing them (win or lose) was the best thing for him AND the book... Look at the press it got! It wouldn't surprise me if the "Lawsuit" was planned bfore the book was every published... just for the press.

PeteOz77 said:

I agree with that sentiment, however, suing them (win or lose) was the best thing for him AND the book... Look at the press it got! It wouldn't surprise me if the "Lawsuit" was planned bfore the book was every published... just for the press.

Click to expand...

Who knows? Maybe. I wouldn't put it past 'em

It was still a major ******-move, until I see some actual proof that it was staged...

Actually, the meme revived his career. The book was just going to be someone (not Chuck) profitting off of said career-reviving-meme and also pretty much profitting from unauthorized use of his name and (probably) likeness. I'm all for fair use, be this is more like an unauthorized (though fictitious) biography.

Daniel Son would hand chucks ass to him.