What went wrong?

I am trying to find out what went wrong with a batch I had. I would like to layout all possible senerios considering the facts.
1. Belgian Yeast wlp 500 fermentation primary and secondary for belgian triple
2. bottle condition with S-33 half a pack per 5 gallons with 5 oz of priming sugar.
3. Constant 70 degree temps. during bottling 68 during primary or secondary
4. 3 months in primary and secondary. 1 month in bottle
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The Fail
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No carb.
Bad taste.

what was your recipe? what was your brewing process? what was the OG? high grav beers are harder to carbonate because the yeast are in such bad shape and the ABV is so high. also high grav beers take longer to bottle condition. probably should of raised your fermentation temps about 10 degrees to release the belgian yeast flavors.

Let me add some more detail.
I know the batch turned out great. A month before hand I bottled 5 gallons of it. It turned out great. Everything on it was just right. I only added priming sugar to it.
It is an 8%

ok .... none of that really answered my questions.