I sold it all for beer!

swmbo & I have come to a compromise on this matter, I get $25/week to spend on beer or homebrew. I can either drink it, or brew it(and drink it later). Need less to say, I've cut waaay back on my drinking so I can build up a good stockpile of homebrew. Got 10 gallons bottled & priming, 10 more gallons fermenting, and the grains for another 10 gallons waiting for their turn. Maybe I'll finally build up enough apfelwein to let some of it age for longer than a month?

jd3 said:

The key to healthy marriages is pretending the other person isn't spending too much money. And beer. Lots of beer.

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+10,000. Clearly no amatuer ^^

My wife made a comment about me spending money on cigars, fishing equipment, and beer once. I said when I spend $135,000 on stuff we didn't agree on, then I'll stop. She quickly walked away and hasn't said a word since.

lou2row said:

My wife made a comment about me spending money on cigars, fishing equipment, and beer once. I said when I spend $135,000 on stuff we didn't agree on, then I'll stop. She quickly walked away and hasn't said a word since.

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I'm a little confused... is there some context I'm not getting here? What did your wife spend $135k on? Your house or something?

SWMBO cost more than brewing.
SWMBOless for over 10 years allowed me to buy a Cessna 172 and go to Europe every year
I buy whatever I want and can afford (3 divorces, so my credit score is a negative number)

She doesn't ask about my brewing spending, and I don't ask about her spending on jewelry making.

Try to balance brewing with something she wants done. If I do yard work or something while I'm waiting for the mash to finish, that's good. Better still is if I've got something in the smoker on brew day.

You can justify a lot of expenditures by saying "It will save time and I'll be able to do other stuff around the house." That worked when I bought my first kegs. You can also point out that you are home all day instead of disappearing onto the golf course.

However, volunteering to drink another homebrew does NOT count as helping to clean out the refrigerator.

My wife actually asks when I brewing agian, especially if the supply is getting low. She promotes it and I feel worse about how much I spend on ingredients and equipment than she does.

beerloaf said:

I found that the truth is usually the best policy with SWMBO because when she finds out that you lied to her about something, then she is not actually pissed about what you lied for, but instead that you would lie to her.

beerloaf

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Sage advice, ALWAYS be brutally honest with women, it will get to the point they stop asking! For example, when she says " Honey do i look fat in this" If she does, simply say "yes, that outfit does not flatter your body and makes you look bigger than you are" Or "Yes it does make you look fat i would suggest you wear something else". After two or three such responses from you, she will realize you are not gonna sugar coat things for her, and she will stop asking questions or "fishing for compliments" as i like to call it, But if she asks, and does look great, be sure to tell her the truth yes you do look great. The truth is a wonderful thing!

If I list something on craigslist for $20, I sell it for $20. Ebay is for bidding.

bovineblitz said:

I'm a little confused... is there some context I'm not getting here? What did your wife spend $135k on? Your house or something?

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Yep. Divorce got thrown around from both parties before the closing. Once she got in and realized how much stuff they just touched up to sell the place that I was going to have to fix or replace she knew I was right. And I told her then and there, no forgive and never forget until this is paid for or we are out. She also was told her 30 year and out retirement plan got moved to 35 or I will hand her divorce papers at her retirement party. That was 6 years ago and it got mentioned just last month when I was pissed off.

"What yours is mine, whats mine is mine, and ours is mine too" - my wife's philosphy.

This thread reminded me of this one:

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/paraphrased-conversation-swmbo-252483/

It's all for me grog!!!

turtle said:

swmbo & I have come to a compromise on this matter, I get $25/week to spend on beer or homebrew. I can either drink it, or brew it(and drink it later). Need less to say, I've cut waaay back on my drinking so I can build up a good stockpile of homebrew. Got 10 gallons bottled & priming, 10 more gallons fermenting, and the grains for another 10 gallons waiting for their turn. Maybe I'll finally build up enough apfelwein to let some of it age for longer than a month?

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Good compromise. I would have just told her I traded the Mac's for brewing equipment. Completely true without the details of the cash transaction in the middle.

mattjmac said:

I love this post so much I'm suggesting we create a whole new sub-forum on this topic. How to successfully fund (and hide) your brew gear from the SWMBO. Epic.

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It's reading threads like this that help me to realize just how good my wife is. She's never said a word about buying beer equipment to me, other than "okay honey". She's the one that bought perlicks for my triple tower for father's day.

turtle said:

hmmm...when I told her I cleaned out the garage her response was: "great, you finally did what you were supposed to do, how long will it be until it's completely ruined again?" If I say "I sold those macs for $80 and wanna spend some of that money for a better brewpot so I can make less expensive, better tasting beer" her response will be "no you're not". Whereas if I wait until she's good and drunk, and say "I made $80 on those macs I found and bought some new brew equipment, here's the change" it will turn out nicely...unfortunately.

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My ex-wife was like that too.

DunklesWeissbier said:

This is why I'm not married.

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Ha Ha...Me neither! I would hate the idea of not being able to think or act for myself. Until I find a like minded woman...I'll enjoy being single!

I am not even going to give my advice on what I would do...lol

Glad it all worked out for you! Keep looking for more computers so you can buy more supplies!

couldn't resist...

Why do you ask permission to spend money you have earned? She does not have to be obeyed. She should be respected. If you have covered your responsibilities, it is not her role to decide how you spend your discretionary money. If she tries, I suggest that it is time for a sit-down walk through of the budget that covers income and obligations, and leaves each of you some discretionary money to spend with no questions asked. Bonus money should fall into that last category. You are both adults. If she wants to treat you like a child, she might need to review what those wedding vows said. You do not have to accept her attitude just because she cops one. Don't let her decide how you act!

ThreeDogsNE said:

Why do you ask permission to spend money you have earned? She does not have to be obeyed. She should be respected. If you have covered your responsibilities, it is not her role to decide how you spend your discretionary money. If she tries, I suggest that it is time for a sit-down walk through of the budget that covers income and obligations, and leaves each of you some discretionary money to spend with no questions asked. Bonus money should fall into that last category. You are both adults. If she wants to treat you like a child, she might need to review what those wedding vows said. You do not have to accept her attitude just because she cops one. Don't let her decide how you act!

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From what I read through out the thread...she is making the income at the moment thus wears the pants...hence the need for beer

Jayman931 said:

From what I read through out the thread...she is making the income at the moment thus wears the pants...hence the need for beer

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Beer is a pleasant diversion, but a deadly coping strategy. It is a fine thing to enjoy, but if you need it, you are in deep sh*t.

Is she in this for partnership or for power? Do you wish to accede that power to her? You don't have to. You may have some significant relationship work on your hands if you don't, but that sounds like it could be true either way. IAre you really willing to live with being treated as something less than an adult, as less than an equal? Control is an illusion which requires acquiescence on the part of the controlled person. Recognize that acquiescing is a choice that you make. This is part of why I will never refer to my wife as SWMBO. She who must be respected, honored, loved, to be sure. Obeyed? Not on your life.

I sold a few sight glasses to fund my brewing obsession and that kept everything off the wife's radar for a while. Boom, brewhardware takes off and now she complains that I spend too much time in the garage messing with brew stuff. She sees it as an extension of the hobby even though I rarely brew anything anymore. Of course, she doesn't mind spending any of the extra income.

Long story short, you sold a few MACs (messing with your MAC hobby) to buy brewing gear (more messing with your brewing hobby AND spending money on it).

When you're married, there really is no more "mine".

Man, threads like this really make me appreciate how level-headed and fair-minded my girlfriend is. I spend my money on what I want, and she spends her money on what she wants. We alternate paying the bills on things that we both want (dinner out, grocery shopping), and she likes my hobby even though she doesn't drink beer.

Maybe I should marry her.

jagec said:

Maybe I should marry her.

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Why would you wanna ruin a good thing....

My wife and I have a single checking Account which we share, all of our money is deposited and all bills are paid from there without any division...

We each have a credit card which we use for stuff that we want...I use mine for beer and pool stuff, and she uses hers for clothes and makeup. At the end of the month when I am sitting down to pay bills, I simply ask her what her balance is and pay it...don't ever bother asking what she spent the money on.

Its funny though, I will buy stuff without the thought of asking ever crossing my mind, but I always get phone calls from her like this..."hunny, I'm at Sephora and they are having a really good sale". I tell her "that's great, try not to send us into the poor house".

"It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission"

I dont blame you for selling them. I wouldnt want an apple product in my house either.