In the dog house

Yup thats where I've managed to land myself. So a little background, over the weeked the wife and I had a party at our place. Some friends of mine brought their own beer (they haven't come around from the BMC scene yet), and left a partly opened case on my patio. They following morning when I was cleaning up, my wife asked me to bring it in. Which I forgot to do. We were out of town the rest of the weekend, and the beer sat on my patio. Well at some point while we were gone, our nighbor's son decided to take one of the beers. Or neighbor is a long time friend of my wife (They've known each other since highschool), and was not happy with this. She wrote my wife a nasty e-mail which I haven't seen, but has aparently upset my wife enough for her to chew my ass when she got home, then lock herself in the bedroom. Now granted I should not have left the beer out, but where does her friend get off yelling at her becase her son cannot respect presonal property? Would she yell at the grocery store manager if her son stole a candy bar? I guess it's easier to lool for someone else to place the blame on rater than admit that your son is a delinquent.....

How old was the kid?

Yup, that's what people do best, blame others for their failure. Grab your old lady and make her read this, then demand an apology.

wildwest450 said:

Grab your old lady and make her read this, then demand an apology and buttsecks.

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fixed

BC- The kid is young, but old enough that beers are for adults, and to know that it is wrong to steal.

WW- maybe but I'll let her cool down a bit before I share my opinions

Germelli1 said:

fixed

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you win the interwebz!

Let me get this straight. The neighbor kid trespassed onto YOUR property, stole YOUR property, the parent had the nerve to scold your wife for having beer on YOUR property, and you are in the dog house?

If this was a true friend, they would have apologized for the kid stealing your beer, and made the kid apologize as well. If they want to go the ******* route, I'd call the cops and press charges on the little bastard for trespassing, theft, and minor in possesion. It's doubtful with a parent like that, but maybe it would help them realize which party was in the wrong here.

KC- I think you've summed it up pretty well. I'll point this out to her later. More important than picking ones battles is timing ones battles

Tell her that your neighbors owe you a beer. Keep the email she sent btw. You never know if you'll need it in the future. Hopefully he doesn't start stealing more than beer. Any parent that is going to blame you and not their son is the sort that probably doesn't know 99% of what their son is up to. Maybe get a nice dog and teach it to protect beer. Belgian malinois are great beer protectors.

If your wife was right in this I would say let her cool off before you present your side, but she is wrong in the most complete way. Keep the email, grab the biggest "rubber mallet" you have and start hitting all the women involved in this in the forehead.
The kid trespassed and stole from you. Lets see how that holds up against his drinking a beer.
Oh, and ban this irrational f'ed up "friend" of your wife's from your home. No man needs that kind of drama.

Well, the kid was wrong for taking beer that wasn't his.

But come on, you were asked to bring the beer into the house and your wife got chewed out for it. All you had to do was bring the beer in. I'm sure you guys knew that the neighbors don't keep their kid on a leash! You knew he wandered the streets looking for alcohol at night! Dammit you KNEW it was YOUR JOB to watch the neighbors kid for them! And you blew it.

In my eyes, there are two issues here:

1) Yes, you should have brought in the beer when your wife asked. That's a little thing.

2) You are absolutley and in no way responsible for the actions of a kid who doesn't respect boundaries and is old enough to know better.

True, leaving the beer out gave him an opportunity. However, he would have found a way to do something wrong anyhow.

You should apologise to your wife for not doing as she asked. It's not about her being the boss; it's about a cooperative and peaceful marriage.

You should tell the neighbor that you don't take any responsibility for the theft of a perfectly legal substance on your property.

Your wife should be able to discern the difference here.

It's not your job to child proof the neighborhood.

You don't have to take responsibility for smoothing things over, but you're probably the only one who will. Let things cool off for a day or two, and see if you can have a calm, rational conversation with one or both of the gals.

Yeah, I honstly feel only a little bad over the situation. I've already banned the girl's deranged boyfriend from my home, looks like some of his psychosis is rubbing off on her. I'm sure telling my wife that I don't want her friend in my home will set off another powder keg...... oh well.

Yuri_Rage said:

You don't have to take responsibility for smoothing things over, but you're probably the only one who will.

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That's the burden of a peacemaker.

Your neighbor isn't mad at your wife, she's mad/disappointed with her son. Your wife isn't really mad at you, she's mad/disappointed with her friend's reaction toward her. I think this is called kick the dog complex, but since I'm a dog lover, I recommend you go kick the neighbor's boyfriend out of frustration with your wife. At some point it could get back to the kid which is the root of the problem. I hope this helps.

Carrot- Very true, I do feel bad for the kid too. There isn't any descent role model in his life or anyone imposing limits on his delinquent behavior.

You'd be in more trouble with her if you'd have shot the kid while he was trespassing and stealing from you...

But, if you're wife is anything like mine, even being right in the biggest sense of the word doesn't manage to trump the wrong of not listening to her the first time, which could have prevented you being right. I suggest letting her cool off and then forget about it. You can always win the argument later if she won't let it die...

carrotmalt said:

Your neighbor isn't mad at your wife, she's mad/disappointed with her son. Your wife isn't really mad at you, she's mad/disappointed with her friend's reaction toward her. I think this is called kick the dog complex, but since I'm a dog lover, I recommend you go kick the neighbor's boyfriend out of frustration with your wife. At some point it could get back to the kid which is the root of the problem. I hope this helps.

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Haha. Ain't that the truth.

JetSmooth said:

In my eyes, there are two issues here:

1) Yes, you should have brought in the beer when your wife asked. That's a little thing.

2) You are absolutley and in no way responsible for the actions of a kid who doesn't respect boundaries and is old enough to know better.

True, leaving the beer out gave him an opportunity. However, he would have found a way to do something wrong anyhow.

You should apologise to your wife for not doing as she asked. It's not about her being the boss; it's about a cooperative and peaceful marriage.

You should tell the neighbor that you don't take any responsibility for the theft of a perfectly legal substance on your property.

Your wife should be able to discern the difference here.

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I think this is the best one. The only thing you did wrong was to not bring the beer in like your wife asked you to. That is the only thing that should be apologized for. Just make sure you don't take the fall for the rest of it.

jmendez29 said:

I think this is the best one. The only thing you did wrong was to not bring the beer in like your wife asked you to. That is the only thing that should be apologized for. Just make sure you don't take the fall for the rest of it.

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I don't plan on it (taking the fall for the rest), we'll see how she is feeling after we both get home from work. I'll problably be relaxed, she will be stressed out. Thats usually how things are.

Whatever. I know when I was a kid if I had found beer sitting out unprotected I probably would have snagged one too. I personally don't think it's a big deal. If THEY do, then they should have done something about it. It's not like you placed the beer on the fence line with a note saying that you were leaving for a while.

They would have had a right to be upset at you if you OFFERED him the beer.

You could also tell your wife her friends can't bring over shiatty beer anymore. If it was a case of Westy 12, you would have remembered right away to bring in the remnants, but a case of Bud Lime is easy, no, a MUST to block out of your mind.

I love parents who have children that can't do anything wrong and it's always someone else's fault little Johnny did something wrong. I honestly think you did nothing wrong. What if you were to set beer on the curb for trash pickup and the kid went through your garbage? At some point, the kid broke the law for trespassing. I also think it's very passive aggressive to have sent an e-mail instead of coming to talk about it in person. I lose respect for those who can't confront me in person during situations like this. If I were them, I would have punished my son, apologized to you for his mistake, and I have bought you some beer as a replacement.

However, I would apologize to the wife for leaving the beer out, but I would in no way apologize for the kid stealing the beer.

It is a singular beer? One?,,,geez,,,,With all the excited people you would think he took a van load of crack. OH I get it its cause his parents don't want him hitting the BMC. Ok totally justified then. NOT.

Well on the bright side the wife is talking to me again. I did apologize to her for not bringing the beer in as she asked, and told her what I think for her friend. I also conceeded to not say anything to her friend, which is fine as long as I don't see that little bastard poking around my place. I do have some choice words for this woman, but since my wife dosen't want to rock the boat between the two of them I'll keeo quiet for now

JoshuaWhite5522 said:

I did apologize to her for not bringing the beer in as she asked, and told her what I think for her friend. I also conceeded to not say anything to her friend, which is fine as long as I don't see that little bastard poking around my place.

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Well played.

I'd be more upset at myself for leaving beer sitting on the patio for a few days not keeping cold. Even if its crappy beer, its still good enough for guests that don't know any better..

I probably wouldn't have apologized to my wife for not listening to her either... maybe thats why I don't get any

A longtime friend or not, they wouldn't be welcome in my house without an apology for acting like that. I think my wife would tell her friend where to go.. I wouldn't have to get in the middle of that one..

My .02.....
1) Blame whoever left the BMC. Not only did they dis-respect you for bringing tasteless swill, they compunded the insult by leaving it!
2) The neighbor is 100% completely in the wrong. An e mail is a cowardly way to confront you about it, and her kid was in the wrong in the first place for trespassing. If I had done something like that, I would have gotten my a$$ whupped!
3) Yes, you should have put the beer away, but IMO, that was the least of the offenses...and if your friends had the common courtesy to at least take it with them........

Do you think your wife and her friend may have experimented together in high school?

This may be the perfect opportunity to ask for a threesome.

Just sayin'.

kjung said:

Blame whoever left the BMC. Not only did they dis-respect you for bringing tasteless swill, they compunded the insult by leaving it!

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winner

GoldMiner said:

This may be the perfect opportunity to ask for a threesome.

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new winner

GoldMiner said:

Do you think your wife and her friend may have experimented together in high school?

This may be the perfect opportunity to ask for a threesome.

Just sayin'.

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That kinda went through my head too when I saw wildwest's avatar. Time for some three way make up sex. :rockin:

No wonder my wife left me.