Drinking Quotes - Someone was bound to post it...

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With wine comes wisdom, with beer comes strength, with water comes disease.
- Welhelm Kaiser

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
-Tucker Max
 
Alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer.
Homer Simpson
 
srm775 said:
Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
-Tucker Max

That's actually an old anonymous quote, I think the original goes something like, "Everybody should have beliefs - I believe I'll have another drink."
 
My favorite.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill
 
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. "

Frank Zappa
 
I have shamelessly stolen these from other sources.

Beer is not a good cocktail party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is. -Billy Carter

Brandy and water spoils two good things. -Charles Lamb

It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption. -James Thurber

The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines. One tells them from the vinegar by the label. -Mark Twain

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure. - Czech Proverb

The government will fall that raises the price of beer. - Czech Proverb

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. - Dave Barry

Life begins at 60 - 1.060, that is. - Denny Conn

You're all wanking sissies if you even think about using a grain mill, teeth, or ball-peen hammer. A real brewer uses 17 vestal virgins stomping on the grain in a large wooden vat. And yeast is for losers. True brewers just dip one end of their dog into the wort to get things going. - Drew Avis

If my mother was tied up and held ransom, I might think about making a light beer. - Greg Koch, CEO and co-founder of Stone Brewing

Put it back in the horse! - H. Allen Smith, after he drank his first American beer.

The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work. - Mark Twain

They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on the label. It is a crime. - Michael Jackson, the Beer Hunter

Women and drink. Too much of either can drive you to the other. - Michael Still

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W. C. Fields
 
JohnBarleycorn said:
Work is the scourge of the drinking class - Can't remember who

Oscar Wilde, pretty sure...


Virtuous said:
My favorite.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill


Also, I thought it was W.C. Fields on this one?

And I think it went something like:

"I may be drunk Miss, but you're ugly. In the morning I'll be sober, but you'll be ugly your whole life!"


I may be wrong.

:drunk:
 
I actually heard a girl say this:

I may be fat but you're ugly; I can diet.
 
"Not drunk is he who from the floor can raise himself and drink once more. But drunk is he who prostrate lies and can not drink and can not rise."

- Old English Drinking Law on drunkenness.
 
"You know its kind of sad when you walk in [at 11:30 am on a Friday] and half the bar waves to you." - My friend Jim (who was halfway though his first pitcher at 11:30 on said Friday)
 
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