Haha, I'd love to hear/read that story.
It was the final stroke of a simple extract brew gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I started around 3 in the afternoon, expecting to be done within a few hours. First, I decided that I wasn't going to "waste" propane, so I tried to do a full boil on the stove. After about 4 hours, I finally decided my stove couldn't get the wort past 194F. So I split the batch into two pots. Turns out that even though I had pretty even volume, one of my pots is terrible at heat transfer and still wouldn't boil. So I keep transferring wort out of that pot into the one that IS boiling until that one boils.
So I get to my late extract addition at the 15 minute mark, and the thing
will not return to a boil. So I just set the timer anyway because I'm ready to be done.
Now it's 9:30 at night, freezing out, and I really don't want to go outside and hook up the IC to cool the wort for another hour, so I decide I'm gonna be a no-chill pioneer and put it in the freezer overnight and pitch in the morning. But what's this? I can't find the lid to the brew kettle. Well, what are my other options? I've got buckets, a carboy, and a better bottle. Well, I don't have a sanitized bucket and I don't want to shatter the carboy, so into the better bottle it goes.
So I get a couple gallons in there and it's already starting to look deformed. I figure deformed plastic, no big deal, it'll still hold wort. I move out to the garage and put the BB in the freezer and dump the rest in (at least, the maximum the BB will now hold) and put the carboy cap on.
But the BB is not done melting. Oh no, it is not done melting. I check on it 15 minutes later and wort is leaking out the top of the carboy cap, due to the BB gradually losing volume by the second. So I grab some old towels and lay them down in the bottom of the freezer. I check again an hour later. Still leaking. I declare it a lost cause and turn in for the night.
By morning I have maybe 4 gallons of wort left and sopping wet towels in the bottom of the freezer. So, I hook up the blowoff tube and pitch. And of course, it has to be the most violent fermentation I've ever experienced, and I lose another half gallon of beer to blowoff.
Which is what I get for trying to do a "quick" beer.
