Miller Vortex

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".............brand’s goal is to “create buzz and excitement and give consumers another reason to choose Miller............."

I know I'm excited
 
a bottle with specially designed interior grooves that “create a vortex as you’re pouring the beer
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Which makes the beer go flat faster!

This news is so exciting, I may never need to homebrew again!
 
babalu87 said:
Or you could just not participate in the thread.
Click to expand...
sorry Berner, but he's a got a point :D :mug:

Pick said:
Which makes the beer go flat faster!

This news is so exciting, I may never need to homebrew again!
Click to expand...
I don't know about going flat. A vigorous pour is good for a nice head.
I think it's funny because most people that drink BMC think the perfect pour is a headless one where this is going to create a proper to excessive one.
 
I like that MGD 64 is going to go against Mich Ultra and say you can enjoy your beer too ..............................
 
I'm holding out for the Miller decanter. I like to let my beer flavored soda breathe for at least an hour. Future tagline? "Miller, the Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon of Beers"
 
I'm interested in that pint size aluminum bottle..... Its always good to have other bottling options.
 
nutty_gnome said:
I'm interested in that pint size aluminum bottle..... Its always good to have other bottling options.
Click to expand...

Finally a sure fire way to tell when our homebrew is at optimal imbibing temperature . . . . . unless of course the mountains wash off with the first sanitization, etc.:D
 
***********1. Enforce rules only against their foes (i.e., anyone who does not suck up to them) while exempting their friends from similar or worse behavior.

2. Silently boot someone and then proceed to trash talk the person as if the person was still there with an opportunity to respond.

3. Boot someone and then start a thread for the sole purpose of boasting about having removed the person, so as to bask in the praise of sychophantic members applauding the moderator's bold action.

4. If a person is being stalked or trolled, scold, warn and threaten both the victim and the perpetrator to stop it. If the victim protests, boot the victim for having defied the moderator's authority. Add injury to insult by allowing the troll or stalker to stay because the stalker or troll didn't talk back to the moderator.

5. If the moderator loses an argument to another member, selectively delete the member's comments so that the thread no longer makes any sense.

6. Selectively enforce the tribe's rules only against newcomers, newbies or people who are not friend with the moderator.

7. Speak about their actions as moderator in the passive voice, use the royal we, and otherwise take on a haughty, authoritarian tone. I mean, dude, you're just a moderator. ***************
 
It's crazy that they think that'll convince people to buy their beer. It's even crazier that it'll work on a few people.
 
This is awesome. We've been stuck in the dark ages using smooth-bore bottles. Finally a rifled beer bottle! That means we're only a few short years from the Gatling bottle, followed by fully automatic beer bottles.

Hopefully by 2050 we'll have developed the recoilless bottle--not a big deal for smaller beers, but should cut down on the number of injuries caused by opening strong Belgians and champagnes!
 
SumnerH said:
This is awesome. We've been stuck in the dark ages using smooth-bore bottles. Finally a rifled beer bottle! That means we're only a few short years from the Gatling bottle, followed by fully automatic beer bottles.

Hopefully by 2050 we'll have developed the recoilless bottle--not a big deal for smaller beers, but should cut down on the number of injuries caused by opening strong Belgians and champagnes!
Click to expand...

Not sure if this is a good thing. I'm picturing increases in alcohol poisoning in college students from a fully automatic package of a double IPA or Belgian Tripel. Atleast today the kids are bonging budweiser, miller, and other beers with less than 5% ABV. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though on a serious note, maybe this would atleast put a decent head on the beer :D
 
Wait a second. Don't most people who drink BMC do so right out of the bottle? So, WTF does the vortex have to do with anything? I know in the commercial they show it pouring into a glass, but let's be real here. How many people picking up a case of Miller Lite are going to be pouring it into a glass instead of just swigging it out of the bottle as fast as they can?
 
marubozo said:
Wait a second. Don't most people who drink BMC do so right out of the bottle? So, WTF does the vortex have to do with anything? I know in the commercial they show it pouring into a glass, but let's be real here. How many people picking up a case of Miller Lite are going to be pouring it into a glass instead of just swigging it out of the bottle as fast as they can?
Click to expand...

Good point. Maybe it's another step in the direction of trying to make people think that it is a craft beer. Maybe they'll start pushing adds about how you need to drink it from a glass as to enjoy the aroma and bouquet. "Bubbly, seltzerlike, with a slight hint of urine".
 
SumnerH said:
This is awesome. We've been stuck in the dark ages using smooth-bore bottles. Finally a rifled beer bottle! That means we're only a few short years from the Gatling bottle, followed by fully automatic beer bottles.
Click to expand...
Ah, so frat boys will no longer be able to "shotgun" their beer, they'll have to "rifle" it. Got it.

-Joe
 
I like the home draft thing. I bet it could be refurbished into a cheap alternative to a tap a draft.
miller%20home%20draft.jpg
 
All kinds of new possibilities for commercializing,

"Miller vortex, you'll be transported to another drinking dimension"
 
I saw this on a billboad yesterday and can't think of one reason this would be useful. Honestly, what would it do? Seriously. I'd like to know. If it's just a gimmick, I could see that.
 
BlueSunshine said:
Aside from a goofy gimmick, I can't see why a funky shaped bottle would make any difference at all.
Click to expand...

I don't know, I'm thinking that if you combined this technology with the best that bendy straws have to offer, you could really clean up in a bottle chug contest.
 
BlueSunshine said:
Aside from a goofy gimmick, I can't see why a funky shaped bottle would make any difference at all.
Click to expand...

We drink beer out of funky shaped glasses right? (RIGHT!?) Everything has its place.

When I first saw this, all I could think is the 'vortex', well, more like bumps, would just release more carbonation, either making the miller taste different 'better' to BMC drinkers. OR even let miller save money on carbonation? IDK just throwing **** out there.

And there it goes, I told myself I'd never post in a pointless BMC bashing thread
 
because the vortex chug is going to be the next big thing at colleges everywhere. down a miller lite and burb your frat letters without puking and you win another bmc.
 
I'd like to see someone pour from the "vortex" bottle into this [bottom etched] glass:

M180000020.jpg


Of course, that would only work for folks who like a little beer with their foam. :D
 
Cliff897 said:
***********1. Enforce rules only against their foes (i.e., anyone who does not suck up to them) while exempting their friends from similar or worse behavior.

2. Silently boot someone and then proceed to trash talk the person as if the person was still there with an opportunity to respond.

3. Boot someone and then start a thread for the sole purpose of boasting about having removed the person, so as to bask in the praise of sychophantic members applauding the moderator's bold action.

4. If a person is being stalked or trolled, scold, warn and threaten both the victim and the perpetrator to stop it. If the victim protests, boot the victim for having defied the moderator's authority. Add injury to insult by allowing the troll or stalker to stay because the stalker or troll didn't talk back to the moderator.

5. If the moderator loses an argument to another member, selectively delete the member's comments so that the thread no longer makes any sense.

6. Selectively enforce the tribe's rules only against newcomers, newbies or people who are not friend with the moderator.

7. Speak about their actions as moderator in the passive voice, use the royal we, and otherwise take on a haughty, authoritarian tone. I mean, dude, you're just a moderator. ***************
Click to expand...

^^^^ :confused::confused::confused:


With respect to the Miller bottle, its all about branding. Will this new vortex bottle increase sales? You betcha, albeit probably only initially out of consumer curiosity. I haven't seen the bottle so I have no idea how it will actually effect the pour but I'm guessing that IP is right when he says that it will create better head by agitating the beer.
 
JKoravos said:
It's crazy that they think that'll convince people to buy their beer. It's even crazier that it'll work on a few people.
Click to expand...

remember that this is aimed at the people who are already buying their beer. it's just smoke, mirrors and musical chairs for the big 3 clones.
 
OK so my wife loves Miller Lite and we usually pick up 5-6 cases at a time so she is always stocked. Last week I was bringing some empties upstairs (my method for doing this is sticking my fingers into the necks so I can carry 8 at a time) when I felt some little bumps in the neck of the bottle. These bottles were pre-vortex so I compared them with a newer betterer Vortexier bottle and they were exactly the same. This leads me to one of three conclusions:

1)Miller has ALWAYS had the vortex technology but never marketed as such.

2)They used to have "normal" bottles but started making the vortex bottles before they actually labeled them as "THE VORTEX".

or

3) I have too much time on my hands and I should stop worrying about these stupid little bumps on the inside of my wife's beer.

I'll go with #3.
 
Think about the possibilities in the future. If you shook this thing up in low Earth orbit, then popped the top off, it would take off in the opposite direction, spinning as it went. You'd have self-spin-stabilizing beer bottles!
 
billvon said:
Think about the possibilities in the future. If you shook this thing up in low Earth orbit, then popped the top off, it would take off in the opposite direction, spinning as it went. You'd have self-spin-stabilizing beer bottles!
Click to expand...

Which would really defeat the purpose of playing "Spin the Bottle" in space.
 

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