Words you never hear

We always hear about disgruntled employees. Why don't we ever hear about the gruntled employees? If I say something in the forest and no woman is around to hear me, am I still wrong? How far can you run into the forest? Which is better, a watch that won't run or a watch that loses a second a day?

Sorry, but I had to take a muscle relaxer for a "thing" and I'm "intensifying the effect". Sometimes I ramble, but most times I...

Hopfan said:

We always hear about disgruntled employees. Why don't we ever hear about the gruntled employees?

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I had a buddy at a previous job that would always cheer people up, no matter how bad of a mood they were in. A handful of us called him The Gruntler.

-walker

edit: I have to add this, because I just saw the quote under your name. The company that I and The Gruntler used to work for was Hal Computer Systems. No joke. They closed down in 2001 (weird, eh?).

Walker-san said:

I had a buddy at a previous job that would always cheer people up, no matter how bad of a mood they were in. A handful of us called him The Gruntler.

-walker

edit: I have to add this, because I just saw the quote under your name. The company that I and The Gruntler used to work for was Hal Computer Systems. No joke. They closed down in 2001 (weird, eh?).

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His name wasn't Dave, was it?

What about repeat? I've never heard of a peat, but we have repeat.

Hopfan said:

His name wasn't Dave, was it?

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Nope. His name was Pete. (Which is odd, given your other post.)

-walker

Hopfan said:

What about repeat? I've never heard of a peat, but we have repeat.

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Never heard of "peat"? Drink some scotch or scottish ale!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peat

If pete and repeat were sitting on a fence and pete fell off ,who was left?
I said if... oh never mind

why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

If an Asian leaves the East and moves to the West, does this make him officially disoriented?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

Hopfan said:

How far can you run into the forest?

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Halfway???

I'm reminded of an article by an English standup comedian about Germans lacking a sense of humor. He had realized they have one, but English lends itself to wordplay and German syntax and vocabulary just doesn't. Far fewer words have multiple meanings and the number of loan words from other languages is much smaller.

Pi R squared. No, pie are round. Cornbread are square.

Not really Words you never hear, but Steven Wright's humor and original post made me think of him. my original post was his and so are these...



What's another word for Thesaurus?

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?

Why are there braille dots on the keypads at drive up ATMs

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me! I wonder how much deeper they'd be if that didn't happen.

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "wish you were here."

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance

The other day, I went to a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people who were here last year."

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

cha ngo said:

Halfway???

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Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding. You win, I rarely get anyone to answer that one correctly. Although I usually ask after a few hours of imbibing...