HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

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I didn't find any grasshoppers thank god. They were just stirring it with there catchers. Hopefully I won't find any legs in the trub! First and last time I brew with the garage door open. Had no time to reboil so I'm relaxing and having a nice homebrew right now. Maybe I just figured out the secret to nailing a Old Milwaukee clone.

totally in context...:D
 
I always knew there was a reason I thought Revvy was one of those down to earth Reverends that I would love to meet someday...

aren't you a reverend?

Yes, what's that got to do with anything? I'm not gay, or catholic. I'm allowed to have sex, and make bad puns about breasts just like any normal human being. Just that I can also make some of them in Latin or Aramaic.
 
Revvy for the win again...why can't my pastor be this much fun? I have had beers with my pastor many times, but for some reason I cannot picture him talking about breasts or dildos.

Not being a parent, and single, I'm more interested how many folks on here have used starsan on a dildo before.....especially our female members.

;)
 
From the addiction thread

You buy a six pack of beer from a small microbrew that happened to be in the same location as your 4th graders field trip you were chaperoning (it was in a plastic bag and I didn't open one until we were on the bus headed home so don't judge me).
 
Hmmm...


i never stress about a job. I always think "when they find out what you are doing to the coffeepot, you'll be fired, for sure. and then all this stress will have been for nothing. so don't sweat it."

then

i do little things to the coffeepot to relieve the stress at the office. they might not be legal in certain circles or ethical in others- i don't know - i'm not some sort of ethnic lawyer geometrist...
it seems to be working with the stress though - kind of like imagining everyone in their underwear when you have speak in public
 
Best post ever!!!!

The number of "I think my beer is ruined" threads on this forums is directly proportional to the number of clear fermenting vessels in use. Fermentation is not a spectator sport. There have never been any blockbuster movies starring fermenting wort. There's nothing here to see. Move along and let the yeast formicate in peace.
 
Dear Penthouse Forum,
I start with an ice bath then slowly penetrate the wort with my huge wand. I gently move it around clockwise and change directions intermittently. I usually come in 30-35 min. to 70o. This is the only technique I've used. When doing IPA's I use my wand to crush the hop leaf and release her oils. Everyone has been pleased with the final product. Just be carefull not to put your wand in if the wort is too hot or it will explode.
 
This really deserves to be posted here for posterity.

Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.
 
I see these "how long does your brew day take" threads pop up from time to time and I'm always puzzled. Would people ask "how long does it take you to fish?" or "how long did it take you to ski today?".

Brewing is a hobby and activity that I enjoy - so I'm not actively working to make it uber-efficient. I'd compare brewing to sex - I'm grateful when I get the chance to do it so I'm not interested in finishing quickly. :)

Thank you sir!
 

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