bernerbrau
Well-Known Member
UPDATE: This thread documents events currently in progress which began February 19, 2009. It has attracted considerable attention from many people with many different opinions on the matter. Feel free to comment, but before you comment on an early post, try and make sure it hasn't already been addressed.
So, I've been married just over half a year.
After finding out I'm getting laid off, I talk to a guy I know who has good connections in my industry.
He recommends I come out to meetings with his group of nerdy guys, ya know, to network and have a beer or two. Just once a week, thursday nights, nothing fancy.
This was my second Thursday out with them. I had one 22-oz Rogue Dead Guy and one pint of unidentified IPA (I asked for a Terrapin Rye but didn't bother to correct anyone when it came out).
Meanwhile I'm texting her the whole time, since she's all home alone, just you know, to let her know I'm thinking about her.
Give her a call when I'm leaving and she's real standoffish, and hangs up on me. Come home and she's livid. I mean really, homicidal. Furious.
I guess I gotta back up a few years here. When we first came to Nashville in 2006, my dad and his then brand new wife took me out on the town. Got me drunk and somehow got me to do a body shot in this seedy bar by the river. Well, that didn't go over too well with her.
To be clear -- it was a mistake. It was bad. I should not have done it. I don't disagree with her on that. BUT -- I have never done anything remotely like that since then, and it has been a long time since I've done anything social. In fact it was probably more than a year before the wedding that I hung out with guy friends.
So I come back tonight and she's demanding to know what whore I was screwing around with that I got home at 9:30 instead of 8:30.
Again, let me clarify. I didn't actually specify when I'd be home. Last week, I said I'd be home at 8:30 but she didn't care that I was half an hour late. Not to mention, I hadn't been texting her nonstop. I also made it clear last week that people wanted to hang out longer but I cut out early, and she told me that I didn't have to do that.
Meanwhile I'm trying to be reasonable, and account for every second I was out. She doesn't care. She feels justified in accusing me of screwing around because, in her words, she "isn't the one who did a f*cking body shot". Never mind that she's stayed out until 4AM and I'm panicking and calling the police and thinking she's dead, then she hobbles in on her friend's shoulder unable to walk. I'm just supposed to take that in stride. But I come home at 9:30 PM and it's grounds for divorce?
So it gets pretty intense, and I'm thinking this argument is going nowhere. I grab the keys because I want to exit the situation and reassess the damage when things have cooled down, and she goes "oh, you going to do another body shot?"
So now I've lost all control. I tell her, "yes, I'm going to do a body shot. Then I'm going to go find a hooker to have sex with."
Now again, let's be clear, she's accused me of screwing around possibly hundreds of times since the "incident", and I've taken every single one on the nose. I've had a desire to say those words every time she brought it up, but I've always fought the urge. Tonight I don't know what happened differently, but it just came out.
You can't imagine the screaming. I don't think anyone who ever met her would even think she's capable of it. I'm surprised nobody called the police to report us. I swear you never hear anyone else screaming at each other like this in our apartment complex.
So I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, and probably not allowed to go out with "the guys" ever again.
Funny, just this morning, I was thinking about some of the pictures with us together in them and thinking that if I did it all over again I couldn't imagine doing it with someone else. And I thought, you know, that's something I should really tell her when I see her tonight. Funny how a couple hours can seem like an eternity ago.
You can be honest. Am I just an as5hole husband? Or should I expect better than this? I'm really not trying to escape any of the blame here. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Seriously.
So, I've been married just over half a year.
After finding out I'm getting laid off, I talk to a guy I know who has good connections in my industry.
He recommends I come out to meetings with his group of nerdy guys, ya know, to network and have a beer or two. Just once a week, thursday nights, nothing fancy.
This was my second Thursday out with them. I had one 22-oz Rogue Dead Guy and one pint of unidentified IPA (I asked for a Terrapin Rye but didn't bother to correct anyone when it came out).
Meanwhile I'm texting her the whole time, since she's all home alone, just you know, to let her know I'm thinking about her.
Give her a call when I'm leaving and she's real standoffish, and hangs up on me. Come home and she's livid. I mean really, homicidal. Furious.
I guess I gotta back up a few years here. When we first came to Nashville in 2006, my dad and his then brand new wife took me out on the town. Got me drunk and somehow got me to do a body shot in this seedy bar by the river. Well, that didn't go over too well with her.
To be clear -- it was a mistake. It was bad. I should not have done it. I don't disagree with her on that. BUT -- I have never done anything remotely like that since then, and it has been a long time since I've done anything social. In fact it was probably more than a year before the wedding that I hung out with guy friends.
So I come back tonight and she's demanding to know what whore I was screwing around with that I got home at 9:30 instead of 8:30.
Again, let me clarify. I didn't actually specify when I'd be home. Last week, I said I'd be home at 8:30 but she didn't care that I was half an hour late. Not to mention, I hadn't been texting her nonstop. I also made it clear last week that people wanted to hang out longer but I cut out early, and she told me that I didn't have to do that.
Meanwhile I'm trying to be reasonable, and account for every second I was out. She doesn't care. She feels justified in accusing me of screwing around because, in her words, she "isn't the one who did a f*cking body shot". Never mind that she's stayed out until 4AM and I'm panicking and calling the police and thinking she's dead, then she hobbles in on her friend's shoulder unable to walk. I'm just supposed to take that in stride. But I come home at 9:30 PM and it's grounds for divorce?
So it gets pretty intense, and I'm thinking this argument is going nowhere. I grab the keys because I want to exit the situation and reassess the damage when things have cooled down, and she goes "oh, you going to do another body shot?"
So now I've lost all control. I tell her, "yes, I'm going to do a body shot. Then I'm going to go find a hooker to have sex with."
Now again, let's be clear, she's accused me of screwing around possibly hundreds of times since the "incident", and I've taken every single one on the nose. I've had a desire to say those words every time she brought it up, but I've always fought the urge. Tonight I don't know what happened differently, but it just came out.
You can't imagine the screaming. I don't think anyone who ever met her would even think she's capable of it. I'm surprised nobody called the police to report us. I swear you never hear anyone else screaming at each other like this in our apartment complex.
So I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, and probably not allowed to go out with "the guys" ever again.
Funny, just this morning, I was thinking about some of the pictures with us together in them and thinking that if I did it all over again I couldn't imagine doing it with someone else. And I thought, you know, that's something I should really tell her when I see her tonight. Funny how a couple hours can seem like an eternity ago.
You can be honest. Am I just an as5hole husband? Or should I expect better than this? I'm really not trying to escape any of the blame here. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Seriously.
