The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Water skiing a lazy boy shouldn't be that hard as cape said. I'm surprised bird hasn't posted a video yet.
 
paulthenurse said:
In another thread I used "Water skiing on a couch" as the sort of ideas that crazy brother in laws come up with.

Then it struck me. I'm a crazy brother in law! I have a boat, I can get a couch, and I have access to virtually unlimited quantities of two things

1. Alcohol
2. Brain power

That's a dangerous combination.

#2 is where you guys come in. I'm thinking two toboggans and a whicker couch. Plus we need a TV. A lazy boy would be ideal but the weight might make that prohibitive.

Discuss.
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Good idea, but the 13-year-old pyromaniac in my engineering brain is screaming "Fire! Needs more FIRE!".

The toboggan and wicker furniture should burn nicely.
 
Cape Brewing said:
Uggg. I effin hate posting from my phone and the shtty HBT App.

You need to add some level of buoyancy to the toboggans I would think or else the entire thing would just instantly sink. Either that or you would have to have a beach start / finish... and just pray you were able to bring it up to plane instantly.

Solid concept though and I would think could be easily accomplished.
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The problem is I've only waterskied once when I was 17 and I really don't remember anything about how to do it, just that it was hard to get going. I think the two problems will be getting the couch on plane and what to do about readying the tow rope when you need to

If you're sitting on the couch holding on to the rope you'll probably get pulled off the couch. Attaching the rope to the couch seems like a good way to drown the guy on the couch while we figure out the 'get the couch up on plane' learning curve. I do like the idea of a beach start. More research is required.

Hey Melana. Is there s beach onPrudence Island? Does it need a soggy couch?
 
paulthenurse said:
More research is required.
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Google is your friend:

canoe_couch.jpg
 
Build a tow bar for the couch. Only good way to do it. You can determine the center of gravity and set the bar there. No danger for the "skier"
 
Have your cameras rolling, and make sure there aren't any sharp bits anywhere (top/bottom/sides), because my bet is the sofa digs in and flips on the first turn...

Cheers!
 
paulthenurse said:
The problem is I've only waterskied once when I was 17 and I really don't remember anything about how to do it, just that it was hard to get going. I think the two problems will be getting the couch on plane and what to do about readying the tow rope when you need to

If you're sitting on the couch holding on to the rope you'll probably get pulled off the couch. Attaching the rope to the couch seems like a good way to drown the guy on the couch while we figure out the 'get the couch up on plane' learning curve. I do like the idea of a beach start. More research is required.

Hey Melana. Is there s beach onPrudence Island? Does it need a soggy couch?
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Yes and yes. And a mooring....
 
BigJohn wanted me to point out that PI has a horrible rocky beach and not much in the way of things to do. That being said... I love it. PI is away from civilization and there are all the quahogs and steamed clams you can dig.
 
homebeerbrewer said:
How about a recliner jet ski? I've seen a redneck recliner golf cart, you rednecks should be able to build a recliner jet ski.
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i just watched a recliner getting towed by a truck with a chain down a dirt road on youtube, concept works on dirt, so if you add some kind of hull to a couch I am sure it would work
 
... Like I was saying before.... you just need to somehow make the toboggans bouyant and as long as you don't have any big waves, it should be fine. If you can get the thing to pretty much float, you shouldn't have a problem having the "rider" holding the tow rope as long as you start off reasonably slow and build momentum. I would think having the rider hold the rope would be safer only because they can let go in case of immenent death. Steering this thing seems like a long shot.

My suggestion would 100% be to get this bad larry to float somehow. If not, at the first sign of any hiccups (which there is about a 100% chance of that happeneing within the first 12 seconds), the thing will simply sink right to the bottom... and you've done all sorts of work in order to achieve 12 seconds of fail and a pile of trash at the bottom of the ocean.

How about sealing up a couple 1/2 bbl sankes... attaching them to the bottom of the couch itself... and making sure that the toboggans are a good 6 inches lower than the bottom of the kegs?

The couch would float like a pontoon boat and when you started pulling, it should slowly come up on a plane. If there was a problem, the thing would just stop and float.
 
Cape Brewing said:
... Like I was saying before.... you just need to somehow make the toboggans bouyant and as long as you don't have any big waves, it should be fine. If you can get the thing to pretty much float, you shouldn't have a problem having the "rider" holding the tow rope as long as you start off reasonably slow and build momentum. I would think having the rider hold the rope would be safer only because they can let go in case of immenent death. Steering this thing seems like a long shot.

My suggestion would 100% be to get this bad larry to float somehow. If not, at the first sign of any hiccups (which there is about a 100% chance of that happeneing within the first 12 seconds), the thing will simply sink right to the bottom... and you've done all sorts of work in order to achieve 12 seconds of fail and a pile of trash at the bottom of the ocean.

How about sealing up a couple 1/2 bbl sankes... attaching them to the bottom of the couch itself... and making sure that the toboggans are a good 6 inches lower than the bottom of the kegs?

The couch would float like a pontoon boat and when you started pulling, it should slowly come up on a plane. If there was a problem, the thing would just stop and float.
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I hate to say this and pump his ego any more than we already have, but this concept is very solid. definitely hold the tow rope so you can let go if something goes wrong, and we all know something would go wrong, maybe dig your feet into the arms of the couch and have the boat start slow. I think all of us should be there with cameras at every angle so we could document this somehow
 
ComcastWineRookie said:
I hate to say this and pump his ego any more than we already have, but this concept is very solid. definitely hold the tow rope so you can let go if something goes wrong, and we all know something would go wrong, maybe dig your feet into the arms of the couch and have the boat start slow. I think all of us should be there with cameras at every angle so we could document this somehow
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It's not a matter of if something goes wrong, it's when....

Other than that, a couple of 15 gallon plastic drums on the bottom side with help with buoyancy. The only issue with the tow line that I can see is that with the drag of the couch through the water you'd probably end up pulling the person or persons off the couch before you gained much momentum.
 
Cape Brewing said:
... Like I was saying before.... you just need to somehow make the toboggans bouyant and as long as you don't have any big waves, it should be fine. If you can get the thing to pretty much float, you shouldn't have a problem having the "rider" holding the tow rope as long as you start off reasonably slow and build momentum. I would think having the rider hold the rope would be safer only because they can let go in case of immenent death. Steering this thing seems like a long shot. My suggestion would 100% be to get this bad larry to float somehow. If not, at the first sign of any hiccups (which there is about a 100% chance of that happeneing within the first 12 seconds), the thing will simply sink right to the bottom... and you've done all sorts of work in order to achieve 12 seconds of fail and a pile of trash at the bottom of the ocean. How about sealing up a couple 1/2 bbl sankes... attaching them to the bottom of the couch itself... and making sure that the toboggans are a good 6 inches lower than the bottom of the kegs? The couch would float like a pontoon boat and when you started pulling, it should slowly come up on a plane. If there was a problem, the thing would just stop and float.
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There is just no way a rider would be able to hold the rope, pulling the weight of a chair and himself. If you've ever water skied, you know that pulling yourself up is the hardest part.
 
DakotaRules said:
There is just no way a rider would be able to hold the rope, pulling the weight of a chair and himself. If you've ever water skied, you know that pulling yourself up is the hardest part.
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The couch/chair could be attached to the rope... almost like they do for tubing... ???
I'm betting the combined weight of PTN and the chair would be too much for normal outboards.
 
Melana said:
The couch/chair could be attached to the rope... almost like they do for tubing... ???
I'm betting the combined weight of PTN and the chair would be too much for normal outboards.
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attaching rope to couch gives me visions of horrible and painful death. there has to be some kind of safety measure so PTN dosent get mangled in the destruction. I may not like him very much, but I dont wish serious bodily damage and pain on him. maybe some sort of release system from the tow rope for when something goes terribly wrong
 
Yes... I've been water skiing.

And yes, if you're a huge wuss, it is tough to get pulled up... But that is when you are a person almost totally submerged in water except your head, shoulders and ski tips. This thing would have to be almost entirely out of the water to start to even have a chance of getting up on a plane. If this thing is already floating, it wouldn't be that hard at all to hold on and get the thing moving at slow speed.... And very slowly ramp up until you're moving.

Ever been in a small row boat or inflatable? How hard is it t grab the dock and pull the boat to it? Not very.

Unless you're a huge wuss.
 
Cape Brewing said:
Yes... I've been water skiing.

And yes, if you're a huge wuss, it is tough to get pulled up... But that is when you are a person almost totally submerged in water except your head, shoulders and ski tips. This thing would have to be almost entirely out of the water to start to even have a chance of getting up on a plane. If this thing is already floating, it wouldn't be that hard at all to hold on and get the thing moving at slow speed.... And very slowly ramp up until you're moving.

Ever been in a small row boat or inflatable? How hard is it t grab the dock and pull the boat to it? Not very.

Unless you're a huge wuss.
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Yes Cape, I understand you've done everything once... it does explain why the sheep are nervous.
 
Even though I've only water skied that one time I remember just how difficult it was to pull yourself out of the water. I think Cape is right about the couch needing to be more out than in. Flotation is probably the best way to do that. I've never done a full power take off, but it's a 225 HP engine so It does have plenty of speed. Initial torque I'm not so sure of. This might be my excuse to buy a 4 blade prop.

Oh one more thing. I'm not going to be the one on the couch, at least not on the inaugural runs. I'm the brains of the operation, I'll need to be safe and sound with one hand on the wheel and the other on the throttle. No fears, we'll get someone to be the couch rider. I'll auction that spot off to the highest bidder.
 
paulthenurse said:
Even though I've only water skied that one time I remember just how difficult it was to pull yourself out of the water. I think Cape is right about the couch needing to be more out than in. Flotation is probably the best way to do that. I've never done a full power take off, but it's a 225 HP engine so It does have plenty of speed. Initial torque I'm not so sure of. This might be my excuse to buy a 4 blade prop.

Oh one more thing. I'm not going to be the one on the couch, at least not on the inaugural runs. I'm the brains of the operation, I'll need to be safe and sound with one hand on the wheel and the other on the throttle. No fears, we'll get someone to be the couch rider. I'll auction that spot off to the highest bidder.
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I vote Rookie. He seems to fit your rider criteria.
 
Melana said:
I vote Rookie. He seems to fit your rider criteria.
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If it is Rookie, I would change the approach. Given how buoyant Rookie would be, you might want to skip making the couch buoyant at all. Matter of fact, you may want to chain several 50 lb plates to both Rookie and the couch... Maybe a dozen. Then chain Rookie to the couch... You know.. So he doesn't slip off (safety first!)... And the. Letter rip.
 
Cape Brewing said:
If it is Rookie, I would change the approach. Given how buoyant Rookie would be, you might want to skip making the couch buoyant at all. Matter of fact, you may want to chain several 50 lb plates to both Rookie and the couch... Maybe a dozen. Then chain Rookie to the couch... You know.. So he doesn't slip off (safety first!)... And the. Letter rip.
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ya sure, safety first. if I go down im gonna take one of you arseholes with me
 
TheDudeLebowski said:
We are worrying a lot about the couch. Dont forget the LSU. Shouldnt we install a self destruct button in case we need to jettison the couch?
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LOL!!!

How awesome would that be?? Effin couch sinks like a stone and starts dragging the boat down with it.

There would be no video on the planet I would pay more money for.
 
Cape Brewing said:
LOL!!!

How awesome would that be?? Effin couch sinks like a stone and starts dragging the boat down with it.

There would be no video on the planet I would pay more money for.
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This assumes LSU makes it out of the backyard.
 
Cape Brewing said:
If it is Rookie, I would change the approach. Given how buoyant Rookie would be, you might want to skip making the couch buoyant at all. Matter of fact, you may want to chain several 50 lb plates to both Rookie and the couch... Maybe a dozen. Then chain Rookie to the couch... You know.. So he doesn't slip off (safety first!)... And the. Letter rip.
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I'll get the trash bags... oh wait... that was a different conversation. Right.
Carry on then. Don't mind me..
 

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