Worst Dumb Mistake You've Made While Drunk?

While living in Atl. my room mate was talking with some girls in Myrtle Beach SC. They talked us into driving up despite it being late already. (I'm sure it wasn't hard to do). We spent all day on the beach drinking and the girls had a party that evening. That is about all I can remember until the next morning. I woke up under a palm tree with no memory of where I was, knowing there aren't palms in Atlanta. It took me better than an hour to remember (my car clued me in). That was some scary **** for that hour. To this day I can't remember what the girls looked like.
Mainly I say it was stupid because of all the drunk driving. Hey I was young, dumb, and full of ***.

Silviakitty said:

Decided "Yeah, playing this drinking game with Ouzo is a smart plan!"

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oh...no...i've been there.

DeathBrewer said:

oh...no...i've been there.

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For christmas one year, a secret santa got me shotglass checkers. I can't even begin to tell you what a bad idea that is.

I think the worst was a few years ago I went to Canada with my best friend and his family and a few of our friends for a floor hockey tournment. I was really trying hard to hook up with, date or whatever you wanna call it, with my best friends cousin. Well we all went out and got trashed and I went back to her room with her and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and pi$$ing in her suitcase I never remembered doing it and she was not very happy or lovey doevy anymore.

Feeling up the wife!

And it's too bad I don't remember it cause I am told it wasn't even my wife.:cross:


A total fallacy...............I remeber it all and I wasn't even drunk.

Her name was Molly.

Heading off on my own during Mardi Gras in New Orleans when I was 20 and waking up in a parking lot the next morning. I had absolutely no idea where I was until I wandered around for about a half hour. Fortunately, I still had my wallet, shoes, clothes, and life. That may not actually have been the worst dumb drunk mistake I've ever made, but it sure could have been.


TL

I had some friends over one night and got pretty wasted. We go outside (it was about 1AM) in the yard and start acting like idiots when my buddy goes next door and get my neighbors kids Spiderman Bike and rides it around the yard.

I get on it (I'm 6'4" and about 300lbs at that time) and start doinf bunny hops. Barefoot. Well the pedal breaks off and the end of the metal post that the pedal is mounted on gouges up into the arch of my right foot.

I remember laying there in the grass yelling for a "Bambulance" I finally stager up and commence running around the yard with a crazy pain in my foot.

I finish my drunkin stupor and walk up on the porch to see my foot bleeding like CARZY!! With grass and whatnots stuck up in the cut. We couldn't find anything to cover it with so we used paper towels and packing tape!

I slept with it elevated that night and went the next morning to get 6 stitches in the arch of my foot. You should have seen the nurses face, she said, "What kind of tape is this?"!!

Good Times indeed.

After many shots of 151, I passed out on the toilet in the bar's only restroom. I locked the door so they had to break in. From what I'm told there was a line of (pissed off) people who saw me with my pants down and my head in my boxers. I don't think I took a **** in there...

So, last year I decided to go meet up with some friends in PA to celebrate Mardi Gras with the intentions of carrying on to see the now current SWMBO for the second time the following day. Apparently I had a few too many jello shots that evening because I got in a fight with a paper towel dispenser (very unlike me typically) and then proceded to leave my friends without telling them in search of the car. Well, walking down an alley, I fell into a snow bank and was unable to stand back up on my own. Fortunately, there were some nice police officers that came to my aid and helped me to my feet and inside the police station that I had fallen behind. Last thing I remember, I was standing up getting frisked for like the 3rd time and then I wake up in a jail cell, with different clothes on (no underwear?) with no recollection of how I had changed. When I finally got out, I had 30 missed calls from my friends and the SWMBO. How exactly do you call a girl that you just started seeing to tell her you're running a little late because you just got let out of the county jail for public druckedness? Needless to say, she still let me come visit!

ok. let's bring thread back.

A good buddy of mine, whilst in college, went to a house party and had way too many drinks when another friend of his came to visit. The story goes-he woke up in his dorm, had to go back to the party to find his wallet, and was told by the 'hosts' that for no clear reason he decided to throw his own wallet onto the roof the night before. classic.

OK. Personally, except for posting here, the thing I've been repeatedly reminded of was when we where out at the annual company sailing event and I "missplaced" the plexi-glass door to the cabin of our big ass sailboat.

The event is legendary for the "grill, sauna and binge drinking eavning" and I since I had to go for "number two" I jumped over to my boat, detached the detachable door, sat it down on the spray-hood and watched it slide across the boat down in the water. Thing is the nigts are cold as hell at that time of the year and it was raining heavilly so I wasn't really that popular.

To make it even worse, what to me looked like a cheapo piece of plastics turned out to be a custom made, race grade door and the owner of the boat who had rented it to us later refused to repay the $5000 safety deposit and demanded an exact replacement and it took my boss and a couple of lawyers almost two years (!)to settle the dispute (and probably cost a lot more than 5000).

Just to compensate for everyone on my boat almost freezing to death the nigt before, the next eavening of binge drinking me and my workmate figured we should at least try to fix the problem with the septic tank on the boat before going to bed. Big mistake. On the other hand the missing door came in handy because I can ensure you that an overfilled septic tank that backfire and spray paint the toilet walls with gallons worth of highly preassurized fecies does not smell like roses.

Let's just say that apart from the smell, it ain't really that fun to get it on you either, since you now have nowhere to wash yourself up but in the sea, which is ~40F and nowhere to get warm after washing up...

Finally, day three we leave the secluded life of sail-racing int the archipelago for a night at Sandhamn, a legendary island with a nice restaurant, great nightlife and a mindboggling concentration of *****ebags. Now, since we're around other drunk people someone comes up with the brilliant idea to remove and hide the (detachable) bow-ladder to keep "the other drunk people" from boarding the boat and use it as a party platform too easily. Naturally when we get back to the boat, the first guy -in his slightly hazy condition- drops the ladder into the sea and we can't get aboard our now so carefully sanatized boat...luckilly for us, one of the girls managed to sweet-talk the coastguard stationed on the island to help us board the boat from the stern using their RIB

H

A few summers ago when I had just moved back to Central IL from Tucson AZ I went to see a DMB tribute band on the riverfront in Peoria IL. I had gotten pretty wasted before even leaving to see the show and of course I over-served myself while there.

At some point I decided that I would get on stage (small concert, no security) and just kept doing it. At one point the bass player literally kicked me off by putting his foot to my back and shoving forward.

At the end of the show the drummer came out and handed a drumstick to me (awesome! a DMB tribute band drumstick!) and I put it in my pocket. A female friend helped me walk back to our vehicle when some ********* walked up next to me and took my drumstick out of my pocket.

I followed him to the parking lot, where he promptly pulled out a billy club out of nowhere and whooped my ass with it. I was about to get outta dodge but saw an opportunity to double leg him, got em on the ground, and choked him out.

Got up, noticed the blood running down my chest, my female friend crying like a 6 year old, and my head hurt.

Came back to town, went to the hospital and had 10 staples put in my dome.

The funny thing is that the hospital nurses said I had 9 staples in there. But when I pulled em out there were 10! And I was the drunk one eh?

The worst dumb mistake I have made while being drunk is;

sobering up.

I one time told my girlfriend she needs to trim her HOO-HA...that was a mistake

HoppyDaze said:

I one time told my girlfriend she needs to trim her HOO-HA...that was a mistake

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That never works lest she gets a mouth full of her own pubes.

Other than parking my car and not remembering where ...

I'm told it was a parking meter, but I don't remember the drunk dial at 3am, but I do remember the 1/2" piece of glass stuck in my pinky the next morning.

Or playing frogger crossing Rt 70 in NJ from the bar to our hotel and having no recollection of why I was lying in the middle of the road laughing, had a snapped of antenna the next morning, or if the road caused the scraped up elbows & knees.

Let's just say I've had a few sexual encounters that didn't feel as "right" the morning after

^^^ well I hope you at least got the gender correct....

Well lets see... One time I pissed all over the floor of a bakery bathroom all over all the toilet paper and floors...

Another time I stood up on a girls bed and pissed all over it at a random party...

Was pretty toasted and put two firework 'mortar' rounds in one tube, when the first exploded it tipped over the tube, and shot the other flame ball which hit my brother in the chest and exploded...

And lots of other stuff too graphic to mention here

HoppyDaze said:

^^^ well I hope you at least got the gender correct....

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"It's been years since I buggered a boy, your grace, and...upon my own defense...I thought it a woman upon entry."

"You hear that, Guthrie, he cannot tell arse from quim!"

"I hear many englishmen have that problem."

Anyway, no...just...we'll say that they weren't "relationship material"

We were drinking at a friend's house while hanging around a fire pit. Well, we run out of firewood so we decide "let's tear some branches off of that dead tree over there!"

The next morning I was itchy all over. ALL OVER. *ahem*

Burning Poison Ivy is a bad idea....

Oh hell, too many great stories to quote here, this is the best laugh I've had in a long time! Mine: Don't try and have "an adult, couples cocktail party" and then Put on an Elvis suit (fat belly, rhinestone cape & all) and try and ride a shopping cart down the gnarly hill near your house. About 2 years ago. It was one of those carts w/ the lil kid plastic racecar on the front, (my buddy was down from AK w/ his new girlfriend) & he crammed his ass (his 240lb ass) in the racecar. I proceded to tell my buddy pushing this missle to "give a good' one, make this interesting". Well push he did, and stood-up I did and ate ****...hard. I slide on my face bout 10 ft or so and proceeded to gush a river of blood down this hill. SWMBO is an ICU nurse...stone cold when it comes to blood. My friends are freaking, she's like "he's fine, he's tough" Well five more minutes of blood gurgling and not waking up convinced her to call the medics. I woke up wheeling out of the hospital in day light w/ a shredded face and my 1st broken bone of my life. Oh and also a 4,000$ medical bill, the 1st time you don't have med insurance, is the 1st time you need it! Every time i see someone that was there, I (and everyone else) hears the story. I have a gang of this ish.

Also.... this past super bowl sunday, SWMBO and I went to southern OR to visit her mother. Had a mellow hang out for super bowl, after, some of my wife's highschool buddies where in town, and wanted to meet up. Went to the local sports bar... chill, a few people... lo key. Had a few beverages and was asked to play pool by some some local (non-crackhead looking dudes) they bought a few rounds, had small talk, seemed cool. I said I was going out for a smoke, they asked to join, no prob. I lite my stooge.... WHAMMY, dude1 blindsides me, dude2 starts laughing. A few more pummels to the face and I finally get the point that these guys are trying to roll me. They think I'm done for, start yucking it up, telling me to give them my wallet, or else.....Well my Mr. Myagi training comes back to me, I through a couple of roundhouse kicks... laughing stops...lay the busters down. 2nd broken bone ever, and a nice chip in my front tooth. I think of myself as a peaceful guy, and a good judge of character, but it goes to show you can never underestimate screw-heads, this-day-in-age.:fro:

Perhaps my favorite is being in downtown Rochester, MN on St. Pattys day 2 years ago.
I was there for work with 2 other guys resetting a Napa store, and our boss gave us the afternoon off saying "I'm going out drinking so I know you three are! Just be here on time tomorrow morning"

First bar we hit up that evening was a "local divorcee looking for a second chance at love" type joint but we stayed long enough to catch a buzz. I went out for a smoke and asked a guy who looked like he was in the know where the nearest bar was where people (specifically females) my age hang out. As he was telling me a drunken bum (bum pack and all thought he would tell me what he thought of me coming to Rochester to take "all the women". I laughed for a minute and went inside and got my buds and we headed out.

Sure enough the bum was still outside getting belligerent on some other folks, then focused his attention on us. We laughed for a few minutes then decided we didnt want any trouble and crossed the street to proceed on our merry way. The bum paralled us on the opposite side just doing all sorts of stupid **** which we were laughing at. I laughed a little too hard at one point and got the bums attention, again.

He then pulled a pine branch out of one of the planters on the side of the curb out and without looking rushed across 6 lanes of traffic to come hit me with it. I blocked the weak ass branch blow and got in my stance, lol. He threw a punch which wildly missed so I gave him the ol' 1-2, with the first blow (badly placed) cutting him above the eyebrow and the second knocking his dentures out. After he got up and stumbled away we quickly left the scene of the crime.

Made it to the bar we were looking for. I realized I was waaay drunk and left to go back to the hotel. Was found a few hours later in the hallway laying down sleeping without a shirt and I apparently attempted to take off my pants. I never found my shirt.

One of my co-workers thought I had taken the wrong way back to the hotel and went looking for me. He was mugged, losing $200, his cell phone, and watch. The other co-worker lost the car keys and we were NOT on time to work in the morning.

We about got fired over that fiasco

went to a kegger. I got fubared, took lots of drunk pics.I proceeded to send pics to my buddy and his wife. The problem is they were fighting and about to get a devorce. He smashed his phone and was not happy with me for about a week....

woke up with bruises

Walked out on a tab last night

DeathBrewer said:

Walked out on a tab last night

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Ouch. We've all done stuff similar. You can always go back and make it right.

My buddy covered the tab for me. Just made me feel like a complete *******.

There's not enough room for me to document the idiotic things I've done while drunk.

My last words will surely be "hold my beer and watch this!"

I've broken a rib on two different occasions - stage diving and falling off a rope hanging from a tree while only 3 inches off the ground.

I've broken fingers on two different occasions - stage diving and have absolutely no recollection of how the second occurred, just that it took 2 months to heal

I've peed in a strangers shoe in the back/employees only section of an NYC grocery store - to be honest, I didn't know the shoe was even there until I heard the sound of something filling up

I've burned body/facial/head hair off on so many occasions and in so many different ways that I couldn't begin to list them

Basically, I'm the life of the party but people know to keep a safe distance when I say "hold my beer and watch this"...

I've burnt holes in enough shirts with cigarettes. I call them "brewery towels"

After a few beers I said to SWMBO "You're only getting mad about this because you're on your period! If you weren't on your period, you wouldn't get upset about something as simple as this!".

biggest mistake of my life (even if I WAS right)

what is it with people peeing on othe people and their property?

Apparently, everything looks like a urinal through beer goggles.

On advice of counsel, I can neither confirm nor deny any activities that allegedly took place while under the influence of alcohol.

Saying to my buddy "will you look at the **** on that one" while my wife is standing right next to me .



didnt want to offend but there are birds with same name

HAHa, this is a great thread! I can at least say I've never whizzed on somebody/or their stuff. That's about all I can claim to have not done. But I'm sure it'll probably happen someday. Life is short, whiz hard!:rockin: