What to do when the wife says no

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What should I do?

  • Get a divorce (she doesn't like beer anyways)

  • Buy it, and bring home some flowers

  • Tell her its actually a new type of surge protector

  • Create a secret 'bat cave' brewery she'll never know about

Results are only viewable after voting.
jdlev

jdlev

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So I got the all grain setup, the kegerator, and am working my way towards an all electric system (hopefully).

I bring her in the wife to show her Kal's setup of his electric control panel, and all she says is, "No. You haven't even brewed your first all grain batch...blah blah blah".

I guess that's good advice, but dang that setup is a thing of beauty, and continually working towards it is a lot of fun. I have to try to stay away from ebay or the LHBS for fear of throwing out another $100-200 on hb stuff.

So what should I do? :D
 
Well, she didn't say no... with a period, there's still hope. And it's good advice. You won't really know what you want exactly until you play around with all grain for a bit.
 
I agree with Denny. You need to make some good beer first. Give her said good beer. Then tell her that you will be able to make even more good beer, in less time, with less work if you go with Kal's control panel.

If that doesnt work then get the divorce papers ready.
 
You don't need all of that fancy stuff. There is plenty to build just to get a decent AG going. Build a Mash Tun, a BK, Etc. THEN start upgrading once you have a few batches done manually.

Now excuse me, I have to shop for a pump. My wife wants to buy me one for my birthday...
 
Just start slowly assembling the pieces... have them shipped to your work address or a friends house... over the span of the next few months, you can get a good number of those items together, get some AGs under your belt, and when she gives you the "go ahead" finish up your list of things to get and you're just that much closer.

:-D
 
kpr121 said:
I agree with Denny. You need to make some good beer first. Give her said good beer.
Click to expand...

This is the key. You need to make a beer or two that are specifically designed for your wife. That way, she sees the benefit of the hobby, knows that you're still thinking about her while doing the hobby, and that she benefits from it as well.

I've got complete buy in from my wife, because she knows that she gets what she wants out of it too. Look at my pipeline below, the raspberry wheat and porter are more for her than me, and I've got a cherry coming into the pipeline for her as well. My wife's thinking about having a beer party for the group of Moms that she hangs out with, because I've given her options.

Now, I can start focusing on what I want: pale, amber, and india pale ales.
 
SWMBO.

It's really that simple. Or as my Grandpa would tell you.

"Do what ever gets you laid."
 
kpr121 said:
I agree with Denny. You need to make some good beer first. Give her said good beer. Then tell her that you will be able to make even more good beer, in less time, with less work if you go with Kal's control panel.

If that doesnt work then get the divorce papers ready.
Click to expand...

She doesn't like beer :cross:
 
Homercidal said:
You don't need all of that fancy stuff. There is plenty to build just to get a decent AG going. Build a Mash Tun, a BK, Etc. THEN start upgrading once you have a few batches done manually.

Now excuse me, I have to shop for a pump. My wife wants to buy me one for my birthday...
Click to expand...

I just got the march 809 on fleabay for $130 shipped :rockin:
 
Just figure out what she does like. Believe me man everyone who doesn't like beer just hasn't tasted a beer they like yet. There's a good few SWMBO slayer recipies on here.

As far as equipment goes, just get the basic setup, brew that SWMBO slayer, and start expanding on it.
 
BendBrewer said:
SWMBO.

It's really that simple. Or as my Grandpa would tell you.

"Do what ever gets you laid."
Click to expand...

I'm with BendBrewer's Grandpa...

Seriously though, it's super tempting to jump straight into the deep end in this hobby... I've struggled (at times more successfully than others) to keep that temptation in check. I think our wallets (not to mention our SWMBO's) appreciate that struggle more than we know. ;)
 
badmajon said:
Just figure out what she does like. Believe me man everyone who doesn't like beer just hasn't tasted a beer they like yet. There's a good few SWMBO slayer recipies on here.

As far as equipment goes, just get the basic setup, brew that SWMBO slayer, and start expanding on it.
Click to expand...

Agreed! My wife had yet to find a beer she could drink, except for Strongbow, but that doesn't count.

I brought home some Kellerweis and she fell in love. We were out to dinner and I got a Guinness draught and she said she could drink that! I told her Id believe it when I see it though.
 
What we have here is a proper use of the 48 hour rule stated below:

Length of time available for a spouse or live-in mate to notice a newly purchased item before the purchaser can claim that the item has been there forever. The item must be conspiculously placed, and cannot be hidden. Good Luck!

I bought a new guitar, snuck it in the house and put it in the stand with the rest. Since Janie didn't notice for two weeks, the "48-hour" rule had lapsed so I could claim it had been there the whole time.

If you don't think she implies the 48 hour rule your mistaken.
 
jdlev said:
She doesn't like beer :cross:
Click to expand...

Neither did my wife when we met. I had to get her to try different beers until we zeroed in on some that she liked. Most women define beer from having tried it as a teenager or at college, when it was likely CHEAP crapola. This was the case with my wife, and once she started trying different beers, she found that there were many styles she liked.

If she's drinking moscato, definitely try a sweet mead, and some sweeter fruity beers.
 
jdlev said:
So I got the all grain setup, the kegerator, and am working my way towards an all electric system (hopefully).

I bring her in the wife to show her Kal's setup of his electric control panel, and all she says is, "No. You haven't even brewed your first all grain batch...blah blah blah".

I guess that's good advice, but dang that setup is a thing of beauty, and continually working towards it is a lot of fun. I have to try to stay away from ebay or the LHBS for fear of throwing out another $100-200 on hb stuff.

So what should I do? :D
Click to expand...

Spartan1979 said:
We need a choice for "Listen to your wife."
Click to expand...
unfortunately yes in this situation. Brew some and show her you actually plan on using the first grand you spent. Then maybe she won't give two ****s about spending another in 6 months.
We have separate spending accounts that we get money from each paycheck in. 99% of my brewing equipment purchases come from there. One piece at a time.
 
A majority of the money for brewing and brew stuff comes from the tip jar I have on the bar of my home pub. We throw a "major" party at least once a month and always wind up with $50 or $60 from tips from party attendees who will each toss in a few bucks.

Of course at the moment, I'm getting all the "nickel and dime" stuff, so it's not lasting too long... which bites because I really need to stop getting the stupid little stuff so I can save up to start kegging... lol
 
IrregularPulse said:
unfortunately yes in this situation. Brew some and show her you actually plan on using the first grand you spent. Then maybe she won't give two ****s about spending another in 6 months.
We have separate spending accounts that we get money from each paycheck in. 99% of my brewing equipment purchases come from there. One piece at a time.
Click to expand...

This is how it operates in my marriage. We have completely separate finances, save the household costs that are split based on income, and the monthly contributions to our joint savings.

Because of this, she cant pass one bit of judgement on my beer brewing purchases.

Luckily she enjoys some of the beers I brew :)

Spartan1979 said:
We need a choice for "Listen to your wife."
Click to expand...

True that. A Kal control panel is not worth your marriage and I think you know that ;)

Like everyone else said, brew some good beer she likes, and she will OK it. If cost is the issue, there are much cheaper ways to accomplish what Kal does, just get in touch with P-J, he will hook you up.
 
LOL. I noticed you poll had 2 basic answers. Buy it or get a divorce. I am for getting a few batches under your belt. That way, you know more of what you need and will be in a better position to buy smartly.
 
Spartan1979 said:
We need a choice for "Listen to your wife."
Click to expand...

I agree with spartan. Just because she doesn't agree, it doesn't mean she's against you. In this instance she's really just acting as the voice of reason. All grain brewing doesn't require a complicated setup, and I would recommend making a few beers before jumping into building. My reason, is that your setup might change because you prefer to do things different from what you have seen. I've seen a ton of different setups on this site as well as other places. Just because you have the mindset for a certain system, it doesn't mean it's the best for you. Spending less money up front will save you more money in the long run when you are doing less backpedaling.

On a side note, having the experience in all grain will make you better informed in presenting a solid argument to the wife.
 
I'm with all the people saying listen to your wife...

I'm in a similar boat. I'm just starting out, and I put together a huge list of equipment to make my setup. I showed it to the wife all proud like... She looked at me with a bit of fear and asked... Do you really NEED all that???

My immediate answer was "YES! DUH!!!"

But then I started thinking about it. I didn't actually NEED it... I just wanted it. I trimmed down my list to about a third of the original price tag and got just the basics.

So yeah... I agree with the others on the board- like most things I think it's not the equipment but the person using it.

I can expand later... you probably can to. ;)
 
I am a noob and i would prefer to get some more batches under my belt before I spend too much...she made me say that..doh!

I also have learned in the past, It is much easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
 
Of course your SWMBO is right! They always are!

I brewed AG with a simple, single burner,propane, 3 tier setup for more than 10 years before going all electric. Kal's system is sweet but it's an impulse buy. You don't need it, not even to go all electric.

My suggestion is to design/build a panel yourself. Look at some of the electric panels others have built and see how much you can simplify it, then make a list of the parts you'll need, price them, and start collecting a little at a time. When you show her you can build something for a couple hundred instead of a couple thousand, she might be less reluctant.
 

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