THE definitive guide to brewing...Popular Mechanics

Ask for a refund for any money you've paid here, throw out all the books you've ever read. Palmer? A know-nothing hack!
Popular Mechanics has managed to transcend the Greater Wisdom of Brewing with their current issue, October '08, in the "The PM Manual - 100 Skills Every Man Should Know". At number 59, "Home-brew beer." (I quote)...
"Go your local microbrew one better. Mix 4 to 5 pounds of malt extract with 5 gal. of water. Boil vigorously for an hour, adding the desired amount (huh??) and variety of hops (Whu..?) at the start and again after 45 minutes of boiling. (Wait, how much?) Cool quickly, then pour into a fermenter (Wuzzat?) and add yeast. (Helen, got any yeast left over from your rye bread??) "That's what gives beer its fizz" says Todd Frye, owner of the Home Brewery. (Thank you, Messiah, for that wisdom!) Let the mixture ferment for two to three weeks (I'll just leave this "fermenter" thingy outside by the shed.), then add 1 1/2 cups of corn sugar. Bottle a batch in sterilized glass, seal it (Like, with saran wrap?) and let it sit for three to six weeks."

So, that's it, guys. (Sorry, ladies. Evidently wimmens ain't s'posed to know these things.)

I thank you for all the advice from all of you, but I've got to get busy and frame the "Brewing Bible" and get brewing! This will be the last you hear of me. I don't need you anymore! Ciao!

Thats just Pop Mechanics. They do the same thing when they talk about building Nuclear Reactors.

Amazing that they didn't even mention an airlock. So you have a big bucket of wort and yeast and you're just going to let it sit for 3 weeks. FANTASTIC!

Move over Alton Brown, Popular Mechanics has just one-upped you!

Well isn't that special...

MikeFlynn74 said:

Thats just Pop Mechanics. They do the same thing when they talk about building Nuclear Reactors.

Click to expand...

So... Are you saying I shouldn't fire that puppy up? I followed the directions precisely.

Hey, at least they advocate 3-6 weeks of bottle conditioning.

Hey wait, you mean you CAN'T build a Nuclear Reactor using bailing wire and old tube socks?

Rick500 said:

So... Are you saying I shouldn't fire that puppy up? I followed the directions precisely.

Click to expand...

Me too! Got my "some metal around the core" part finished yesterday

Revvy said:

Hey wait, you mean you CAN'T build a Nuclear Reactor using bailing wire and old tube socks?

Click to expand...

Of course not; don't be silly. You're going to need duct tape, a wad of chewing gum, an old penny and a car battery too.

That's not Popular Mechanics. That's MacGyver.

Combine the two and we could rule the world.

Bruscar said:

then add 1 1/2 cups of corn sugar. Bottle a batch in sterilized glass, seal it

Click to expand...

I forsee this ending poorly.

Looks like an awful lot of priming sugar.

Wait, aren't we making bottle rockets?!?!

So if I pull out one of my brew books, will it tell me how to fix my car ???

I think Palmer mentions carborators vrs fuel injection when he covers yeast.

1.5 Cups of priming sugar... Did they also fail to recommend storing in a bomb shelter?

eddie said:

Of course not; don't be silly. You're going to need duct tape, a wad of chewing gum, an old penny and a car battery too.

Click to expand...

*Grins Evilly* Build an Atomic Bomb!

T-Hops said:

Looks like an awful lot of priming sugar.

Click to expand...

Especially when you consider that the recipe only called for you to START with 5 gallons of water. After the one hour of vigorous boiling, you'll probably only have 4 gallons left.

No wonder my beer tastes so good, I've been doing it all wrong. LOL

bottleopener said:

I forsee this ending poorly.

Click to expand...

Damn! Beat me to it.

Impressive, that guy owns a home brewery, such sage wisdom we have stumbled upon.