first brew day is tomorrow, any tips?

tomorrow I begin my first batch of beer ever. I have decided that I will do an all-grain 5 gallon batch of Belgian style blonde ale. now I know what you are thinking, " he's crazy, going all grain on his first batch ever!" well I'm not crazy just one of those people who believe that extract brewing is cheating and that DME should only be used for milkshakes and starters. especially since both my father and grandfather have been brewing all grain since they were each 13 years old ( my father was actually producing around 180 gallons a year in his freshman year.) so if you are a grown man who finds all grain stressful enough to resort to an instant drink mix kit to make your own beer your not BREWING beer your fermenting instant Malta mix ok , ok. as I was saying I've done my homework and I'm pretty sure I got it all down pat but I just wanted to ask the communities opinion and see if your communal knowledge had any tips that a newb like myself should know before he rushes blindly into a situation way beyond his scope of ability , even if you must break his cocky ego.

also I happen to have a question before I get started in the morning.

if the total brew time should be 60" + a 5" mash-out and my bittering hops should be in for 60" but can't be added till the hot break does this mean that those 60" include the mash-out and therefore the hot-break will be 5 minutes into the boil or will the total boil clock not begin until the hot-break

I realize that this won't make much of a difference as long as I adhere to the hot-break law but I just want to clarify to help appease any worries I might have.

P.S. i'm sorry if I offended any extract brewers, but 1-gallon brewers, if your trying to do 1 gallon all grain brews, guys, step it up, I mean is it worth all that for such a small batch?

My first tip would be not to insult others who do extract and one-gallon batches when you haven't even gotten your dick wet yet. I mean, you don't have a clue about brewing because you haven't done anything yet... Yet you're telling extract guys they're not brewing and telling one-gallon brewers to step it up. I can only shake my head...


BTW, I'm very new at this brewing thing myself, but still have infinitely more experience than you have, and I just can't fathom why you would make your first post here so polarizing...

bayern-kaiser said:

if the total brew time should be 60" + a 5" mash-out and my bittering hops should be in for 60" but can't be added till the hot break does this mean that those 60" include the mash-out and therefore the hot-break will be 5 minutes into the boil or will the total boil clock not begin until the hot-break

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What in the name of god are you talking about? You should really start with an extract kit bud

Welcome. I'm new to brewing (I use extract in 1 gallon batches) and new to this forum so I don't have too much advice about brewing to give you. I can impart some wisdom that I learned back in grade school that may be helpful: If you want the folks in the room to like you, don't flip them the bird and talk out of your ass when you first walk in the room.

Good luck with your first batch.

Uh oh...

bayern-kaiser said:

a newb like myself should know before he rushes blindly into a situation way beyond his scope of ability , even if you must break his cocky ego.

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^ This.

But, to provide a little feedback, if you are doing a 60 minute hop addition, that means those will need to be boiled for 60 minutes regardless of the total length of your boil. For example, I often boil for 75 minutes total to make sure I have the heat dialed in before I add my first hop addition.

If you have so much testicular fortitude and underage family brewing history under your belt, the fact that you even have a question regarding brewing means your beer will probably end up tasting like Satan's anus. Enjoy.

I said I've never brewed beer before, so i'm a bit confused about the usage of hops and wasn't sure exactly when during the mash schedule I should add them but I only have a 5 minute margin for error so it really wont make a difference, like I said just something I was mildly concerned about because I didn't know the ansner to it, but it isn't even large enough of an issue to think twice about. but I've produced plenty of alcohol but most of it was distilled except for a couple batches of fruit wines to give away as gifts.

as for you max by your defensive tone I can tell you are a extract brewer, aren't you?

marubozo said:

Satan's anus.

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Can I steal that name for my next IIPA? I am sure if I write that on the tap handle no one else will drink it...

"Cocky ego," huh? Is that what you call it?


I'd say.

bayern-kaiser said:

I said I've never brewed beer before, so i'm a bit confused about the usage of hops and wasn't sure exactly when during the mash schedule I should add them but I only have a 5 minute margin for error so it really wont make a difference, like I said just something I was mildly concerned about because I didn't know the ansner to it, but it isn't even large enough of an issue to think twice about. but I've produced plenty of alcohol but most of it was distilled except for a couple batches of fruit wines to give away as gifts.

as for you max by your defensive tone I can tell you are a extract brewer, aren't you?

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1. Don't talk about distilling. We don't do that.
2. Don't insult extract brewers. Just don't.
3. Hops don't go in the mash (well... sometimes).
4. You've NEVER brewed before and you are asking for help. Remember that.

chipsah said:

Can I steal that name for my next IIPA? I am sure if I write that on the tap handle no one else will drink it...

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Oh, I'd drink that ****. Literally.

bayern-kaiser said:

as for you max by your defensive tone I can tell you are a extract brewer, aren't you?

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Just did my first AG brew... And it is quite satisfying to skip the extract and do a 'real' brew (although I have no doubt that many guys' extracts here are far better than I can hope that my AG will be)... However, the point you're missing is that you've never brewed before, so it's ludicrous to insult others on how they brew.

It wasn't a defensive tone either. I was just calling out an a$shole for being an as$hole... Or maybe a spoiled brat who thinks that what his daddy did somehow has a bearing on who he is or what he's going to do.

Brew on big boy...good luck.

My grandpa and pa were awesome so that automatically makes me awesome. BTW i have no clue what i am doing but since my pa and grandpa were awesome that automatically makes me awesome. Hey, BTW can you help me i have no clue what i am doing but all those scrubs doing things differently than my grandpa and pa are losers even though they have done more and know more than me.

Any tips? Check your ego at the door.

Somebody is trolling yo asses.

tektonjp said:

Somebody is trolling yo asses.

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yup.

Mickey Mouse broke out of DisneyWorld and he's poppin' a attitude

You really shouldnt insult extract guys and one gallon guys. It seems to me that if your family has such a vast knowledge and years of experience of brewing that you would just ask them. My only advice is dont be a dick. Now go on good sir to produce the worlds finest brew on your first try.

Good luck with your first brew, I hope it turns out well.

The next time you post, I advise you not to insult other brewers. There are a lot of friendly, knowledgeable brewers here who would be happy to share info and their experiences, but insulting others is a sure way to get the door closed in your face.

FWIW, one of my friends who consistently places at BJCP competitions brews extract. Mashing or making extract is only a small fraction of making a great beer.