The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Saturday looks like its going to be 70 degrees, not a cloud in the sky and gentle breezes. In other words, a perfect day for a BBQ. Not that it really matters but of those coming, who plans on brewing?

And if you are coming and have a pop up tent would you mind bringing it? It's nice to have a bunch, just in case. Also, if you have folding chairs throw them in the car too. You can never have too many chairs.

Oh ya, strippers. Who's bringing the strippers?

Beer and food would also be good to bring.

A close second to strippers.


Wait a minute... I'm thinking about Mort.......

WTF sort of self respecting stripper would agree to show up at a BBQ with Mort as her 'Sponsor? Ok. Forget the whole idea of strippers. Especially you Mort. No strippers.

<mumbling under my breath>. "Farkin' A. That's JUST what I need. Mort showing up with strippers."
~~~shudder~~~~

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

could be worse, i could be the stripper

Worse how?

you havent seen me, I make ptn look svelt

He's not?

crickets

Looks that way.

Aaaaaaaand crickets again.

Melana said:

Aaaaaaaand crickets again.

Click to expand...

Not enough goat talk.

Perhaps everyone is saving the witty banter for Saturday.

Perhaps!

I could use a little witty banter now. My uncle died yesterday and I'm pretty bummed. Yeager, say something retarded. Cape, tell us how you can't make the Bog Water fast enough. bird, call me fat.

Hope everyone at Masstoberfest will join me in a toast to my Uncle Tom on Saturday. He was a nice man.

sorry for your loss Paul

Thank you.

I'm sorry to hear that, Paulie.

When Cape gets up here with the Stinger on Saturday I will pour a pint out onto the driveway in honor of Uncle Tom.

Paul sorry for your loss.

See? Now that's the sort of irreverent, off color and total Masshole remark that makes me so proud to have started this thread.

Cape isn't going to be bringing any Stinger to Masstoberfest... apparently it is too valuable to share with the likes of the Massholes.

So sorry for your loss Paul.

bluemoose said:

When Cape gets up here with the Stinger on Saturday I will pour a pint out onto the driveway in honor of Uncle Tom.

Click to expand...

Do you have a gravel driveway, I hope? 'Cause that sh*t will burn right through asphalt.

Melana said:

Cape isn't going to be bringing any Stinger to Masstoberfest... apparently it is too valuable to share with the likes of the Massholes.

So sorry for your loss Paul.

Click to expand...

The only person bringing a "Little Stinger" will be Yeager.

He's got a "Beef Stick ". And while I probably shouldn't acknowledge thus, I have a picture of it.

If i hadn't seen the picture of said beef stick I'd never believe it myself.

the_bird said:

Do you have a gravel driveway, I hope? 'Cause that sh*t will burn right through asphalt.

Click to expand...

Dude, I live in Vermont. most of our roads aren't paved let alone the driveways.

Wait, you still have roads up there?

Melana said:

Wait, you still have roads up there?

Click to expand...

Yeah, they're filled with Massholes.

Hey, It was a serious question!!!

Most have been rebuilt from Irene. I still see houses off their foundations in the killington area when driving through. There are a number of bridges that are still under construction. My town had very little damage, and we have two good size rivers.

That was the heart of the question.... We travel around VT a few times a year and have seen the damage.

I'm in the northeast part of Vt. If you get up this way, let me know.

Are you in the NEK? BigJohn and I come up as far as Stowe every August.

John's head goes up to Stowe if he lies down facing north.

paulthenurse said:

Thank you.

Click to expand...

see, i can be nice

At Kinsale.

"You know who" has 'a meeting with is boss.' Which we all know is a euphemism for a prepaid appointment with Mistress Gwendolyn. I don't blame him. I mean, if he's going to pay some 300 # heifer to dress him in diapers and spank him for pissing in the thing I suppose he'd feel pretty foolish not even showing up.

So the Stinger is pouring well and hitting the spot. That first one went down quite nicely.

And what have we here? Bog Iron Pretzels on the menu? WTF? Ok. I'll jump. Stand by.

paulthenurse said:

At Kinsale.

"You know who" has 'a meeting with is boss.' Which we all know is a euphemism for a prepaid appointment with Mistress Gwendolyn. I don't blame him. I mean, if he's going to pay some 300 # heifer to dress him in diapers and spank him for pissing in the thing I suppose he'd feel pretty foolish not even showing up.

So the Stinger is pouring well and hitting the spot. That first one went down quite nicely.

And what have we here? Bog Iron Pretzels on the menu? WTF? Ok. I'll jump. Stand by.

Click to expand...

Oh! Are those like bar pretzels.... All teaming with disease?

Warm...

Crusty...

Salty..

Cheesy with a nice beer undercurrent...

And the pretzels are OK too

ok, i see the problem now. you bash cape all the time, but you throw a few compliments mixed in with all the bashing so it makes it ok. i see what I did wrong now, I did bash you all the time, but didnt throw enough nice comments in there. maybe I can redeem myself someday.

Blue isn't your color.