The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Cape Brewing said:
Stone is a pretty sweet place huh? That's a gorgeous set-up
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Yeah,

Stone Brewing has a beautiful building. I'll try to post a few if they come out decent after I can copy them off my phone. Definitely worth the 1/2-hour-ish drive north of SD.

And regarding Pliney, I was able to find it on tap at two of the bars I went into, Blind Lady Ale House, and Hamilton's. I couldn't find Pliney's in any of the bigger liquor stores, but I was talking to a guy at Lost Abbey, who told me about a little liquor store, with no name - just LIQUOR - it was run by an iranian (or his cousin), about 3 miles away from the brewery. There was none in his cooler or shelves, but the guy told me to ask the guy for Plineys, just like I was a junky asking for a fix. He looked me over, never said a word, and went out to the cooler. I got the 3 bottles, for....wait.........$11.99. Cash.
 
One more thing, before I forget - I'm thinking of donating one bottle of Pliney to the SouthShore Brew Club at the next meeting for a special raffle, if they allow it. Wonder how many $1 tickets a single bottle of Pliney will bring in Boston? Any thoughts?
 
nhwrecker said:
One more thing, before I forget - I'm thinking of donating one bottle of Pliney to the SouthShore Brew Club at the next meeting for a special raffle, if they allow it. Wonder how many $1 tickets a single bottle of Pliney will bring in Boston? Any thoughts?
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i would probably buy 25 myself
 
homebeerbrewer said:
Well, since I'm the raffle coordinator, I'll just coordinate you not winning...
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Rick,
sounds like we can do this, so I'll bring a bottle of Pliney next Tuesday for the club. The beer now is at basement temperature - about 55 F if I'm guessing (or maybe 55.67834, which I guess is 56). If it looks like it's going to be hot next week, I can bring it on ice. (after reading the text below, I don't know the bottling date right now)

Here's some info regarding the beer from Russian River website:
Pliny the Elder Double India Pale Ale


Pliny the Elder is brewed with Amarillo, Centennial, CTZ, and Simcoe hops. It is well-balanced with malt, hops, and alcohol, slightly bitter with a fresh hop aroma of floral, citrus, and pine. Best enjoyed FRESH! That is why we make it in such limited supply. Actual bottling date is printed on each bottle!


Where did we come up with this name? Back in the year 2000, our friend, Vic Kralj, who owns the Bistro in Hayward, California, decided to have his first ever Double IPA festival. Vic invited 10 breweries, 6 of whom (including us) had to brew something special for him since we had nothing that would fall under this style category. Vinnie had made a Double IPA at Blind Pig in 1994, but was not brewing one at Russian River Brewing at the time. He had an idea for the recipe, but not a name. After much research in beer books, brainstorming, and deliberation, we came up with "Pliny the Elder". Pliny, the man, lived in the first century- 23 to 79 A.D. According to our brewing references, he and his contemporaries either created the botanical name or at least wrote about Lupus Salictarius, or hops, currently known as Humulus Lupulus. That was a very early reference to an important part of any Double IPA! Pliny the beer has now become one of our flagship brews!

Pliny the Elder was immortalized by his nephew, Pliny the Younger, who wrote about his uncle succumbing to ash and smoke during the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 A.D. while rescuing people. Cheers to the scholar, historian, officer, writer, and Roman Naturalist- Pliny the Elder!

Availability
Pub draft and bottles, local distribution draft and bottles, all distributors draft, West Coast and Colorado bottles, year-round

Original Gravity: 1.070

Alcohol by Volume: 8.0%
Color: Copper
Bitterness: High
 
He keeps talking about my abs like they're a box full of beer. Then he'll ask me if I want to go diving with him, and when I say yes, he tells me not to bother bringing any scuba gear. Should I start calling him Uncle Paulie?
 
Anyone else borderline left here? I have a sucky job with sucky hours and sucky days off, but if anyone else from the shire who has similar hours is out there...

Cue Pink Floyd...
 
yeager1977 said:
I have become comfortably numb............
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Is there anybody out there.

Is there anybody out there.


There are brewers here. They have a club. Wandering Star brewery does all kinds of things with them. They meet on Monday nights. I work on Monday nights. I have Tue and Wed nights off. They have no desire to move their dates. I met a couple of them at the LHBS. The LHBS went out of business this past Christmas.

I buy all my stuff via Northern Brewer now, and have no connections for bulk buys.

I relocated here from Central Ma for work reasons and know absolutely no one. What makes it worse, my schedule is not condusive to meeting new people.

 
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yeager1977 said:
I repeat "I have become comfortably numb"
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I hope to be when I get out too. Tapped the strong pale ale and the double chocolate milk stout last night. I plan on having a couple of stouts when I get home. I'll kill the pale ale too quickly if I get started in on that one.:tank:

Unless I am missing your meaning.
 
No one is ever 100% sure of what Yeager is tapping about, Barney. Just nod your head and say, "Uhhhhh huh.". That's what we do.

So Barney, if you want to join our little dysfunctional community you need to tell us a little bit about yourself. Just the important stuff; where you live, what you brew, wife's cup size, favorite recipe, etc.1 That sort of stuff. Welcome.
 
paulthenurse said:
No one is ever 100% sure of what Yeager is tapping about, Barney. Just nod your head and say, "Uhhhhh huh.". That's what we do.

So Barney, if you want to join our little dysfunctional community you need to tell us a little bit about yourself. Just the important stuff; where you live, what you brew, wife's cup size, favorite recipe, etc.1 That sort of stuff. Welcome.
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Paul really wants know your cup size...
 
paulthenurse said:
No one is ever 100% sure of what Yeager is tapping about, Barney. Just nod your head and say, "Uhhhhh huh.". That's what we do.

So Barney, if you want to join our little dysfunctional community you need to tell us a little bit about yourself. Just the important stuff; where you live, what you brew, wife's cup size, favorite recipe, etc.1 That sort of stuff. Welcome.
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I am currently living in the wonderful peoples republic of the Berkshires. And I am a Liberarian leaning R who supports Ron Paul and government getting the hell outta people's lives, so I am a pariah here. I gotta get the hell out. I moved here from central ma for work a few years ago and I hate it here.

I brew lotsa stuff, I was outta brewing for a couple few years cuz of mah job, and no one to share with cuz of the move and my hours. I hate everything Belgian and Wheat, except for sours, tho. I got a girl happy Framboise sitting on 9# of raspberries as we speak for a late summer wedding.

My SWMBO (and wtf does the O stand for? Not owned thats for sure...)
has a 34 C/D depending on the manufacturer. She looks like a cross between Kate Jackson and Teri Hatcher. She loves beer, football, and the outdoors. And loves the smell of a good wort getting boiled.

My favorite recipe is my strong pale ale biab. Since I started again, I am focused on perfecting procedure. I tried this one tonight with mah new found knowledge from here, and I nailed it. I'd stack this one up against anything I get served in my only local brew pub in the pale ale category. This tech stuff might not all suck after all.

I have a pocketrock cell, rotary land line, no answering machine and disabled text AND voice messaging on the rock. I hate everything "tech". And I fear change.

Oh and I am a huge supporter of the wicked pissa New England Patriots, and have been a fan since kidhood. I was there for the opening of the old beer can as a wee lad.

DakotaRules said:
Paul really wants know your cup size...
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My cup size is a 42 A. Almost a B. I hope to get it back to a B with some more time in the gym.
 
Ya, you devoted WAY too much time to the frivolous details of your beer likes and dislikes, political ideology and your views on postmodern man, and not nearly enough time providing details on the SWMBO's sweater puppies.

If you can't provide photographic evidence of the latter then you clearly have a true SWMBO and you'll probably be great friends with Yeager. (Not that any of us are looking for sweater pics of LeeAnne the Mercy-less, Destroyer of All Things Testosterone. <shudder>)
 
You aren't missing anything with the local club, IMO. I've never quite understood how a group of guys could take something as fun as homebrewing and completely suck the life out of it. I was part of the club when it first founded (back when meetings took place in the non-defunct Pittfield Brew Works), and it was pretty cool. Helped that there were a couple HBT'ers there, too. Dropped out for a while (too busy working on the house), but I came back for a while when it was in Kevin's shop, and it just really sucked. The guy who used to man Kevin's shop, I can't remember his name, doesn't know jack **** about brewing.

But, I don't know... it was just boring as ****.

Take a ride over to Hennessy Homebrew, in Rensselaer. I love Northern Brewer, but Hennessy is a pretty kick-ass homebrew shop.
 
homebeerbrewer said:
Wow, a librarian? That must be an exciting job...:drunk:
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I was embibing at the time...libertarian.

DakotaRules said:
She Who Must Be Obeyed
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No, I'm not the one who makes that vow..and no preevert pics of teh missus. Sorry to disappoint the nurse. I will, however take preevert pics of mahself in a bra and post em here if you want.

the_bird said:
You aren't missing anything with the local club, IMO. I've never quite understood how a group of guys could take something as fun as homebrewing and completely suck the life out of it. I was part of the club when it first founded (back when meetings took place in the non-defunct Pittfield Brew Works), and it was pretty cool. Helped that there were a couple HBT'ers there, too. Dropped out for a while (too busy working on the house), but I came back for a while when it was in Kevin's shop, and it just really sucked. The guy who used to man Kevin's shop, I can't remember his name, doesn't know jack **** about brewing.

But, I don't know... it was just boring as ****.

Take a ride over to Hennessy Homebrew, in Rensselaer. I love Northern Brewer, but Hennessy is a pretty kick-ass homebrew shop.
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I'll check out Hennessy. And good to know about the club that I'm not available for. The brew works made some good beers, and some ok beers, but I do miss them too. Now its a pizza joint. I never liked the quality or lack of selection in Kevin's shop. He did better working outta his house.
 
Who said anything about perverted? Something 'artistic' would have been fine. Oh well, that would probably get us taken to the woodshed. Again. This thread is wicked pissa, it would be a shame to send it to timeout.

Besides, I'm probably old enough to be your SWMBO's kindly older cousin, it would be kind wrong to check her out in those 'artistic' poses. I would do it so as not to hurt her feelings but it would be just a couple of perfunctory glances and I wouldn't enjoy them. Really.

And as for you, Dakota, I've half a mind to banish you from the thread for a week. You don't give up the meaning of the SWMBO to someone who just asks for it. They need to earn it, show a little initiative, do a little research, read up a bit. It's all part of earning the HBT culture, of learning how to be an EAC. If you just spoon feed them we end up with a bunch of Rick's and Rook's hanging around.
 
paulthenurse said:
Who said anything about perverted? Something 'artistic' would have been fine. Oh well, that would probably get us taken to the woodshed. Again. This thread is wicked pissa, it would be a shame to send it to timeout.

Besides, I'm probably old enough to be your SWMBO's kindly older cousin, it would be kind wrong to check her out in those 'artistic' poses. I would do it so as not to hurt her feelings but it would be just a couple of perfunctory glances and I wouldn't enjoy them. Really.

And as for you, Dakota, I've half a mind to banish you from the thread for a week. You don't give up the meaning of the SWMBO to someone who just asks for it. They need to earn it, show a little initiative, do a little research, read up a bit. It's all part of earning the HBT culture, of learning how to be an EAC. If you just spoon feed them we end up with a bunch of Rick's and Rook's hanging around.
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Prolly right. No point in sending this thread to the woodshed. And I did look for the definition of O. I summized the rest. I went to the beginners' forum and looked for definitions and acronyms and everything. I even tried the search feature. Then I searched for the meaning of the O on google, without filters, cuz I was bored. Much better results there.
 
Red Sox SUCK!!! Fire Valentine! Beckett is a bum, we shouldda canned him! Batters cant hit a watermelon with a sledge hammer!!!

Sox down 2-0 in the second.
 
homebeerbrewer said:
It's not called the woodshed, it's called the boneyard. PTN spends so much time there, his keyboard is sticking. Either that, or his fingers are all sticky, and he can't type worth a ****.

Oh, barney, PTN is old enough to be your SWMBO's grandfather, not older cousin...
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The boneyard is invisible to me. Must be one of dem dar preemium perks. Are there naked bewbie pics of wimminz? Cuz I dont wanna see naked bewbie pics of PTN.
 
homebeerbrewer said:
Yeah, plenty of nekid wimminz, but thankfully, none of PTN.
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That is a relief. None of these women have adam's apples and are beauty queens from Canada, I hope. (I know for sure that if I was drunk in a bar and picked that up, not knowing, I'd have hit it and bragged about it. I think I need a shower for even saying that)

Anyway, I buy my stuff mostly from NB, and was hoping that by late summer, when I'm back in brewing mode (I have two more batches in the pipeline then its summer haitus for me. I have two on tap, two ready for secondary, one lambic framboise on raspberries and the two ready for brewing next Wed when I get time off) that I could line up an ordering buddy. I just got back into brewing after taking a couple of years off and have scaled back. I brew mostly extracts with specialty grains, but I also brew BIAB partials and all grain. My three tier system is collecting mothballs. It was too labor intensive and too damn cold in winter to brew. I aint no spring chicken either. The NB syrup is gooood stuff. Briess makes it for 'em and they specify the grains used and list them on their site. Its fresh as all hell, and if you buy cases of 6 pounders, its just over $2,25/lb. Good variety too. I asked once on the phone if they would mix n match the case, they were hesitant, but I think it could be done. I still dont get why people like dme over this stuff. I think its cuz they are still buying from the LHBS and dont know.

Why buy dehydraded LME, lose flavor and freshness and pay more? Do they still judge LME by those aweful coopers cans?
 
image-4020560627.jpg

I DID walk over and ask if she was all right before snapping the picture.

I sure hope she took the CDW on her rental.
 

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