The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

I can already see Yeager sprinting to his car as I type this.

Are you too brewing tomorrow?

Too? To? Or two?

I'm not. My rig ain't exactly mobile. I'll be there though.

Cape Brewing said:

I'm not. My rig ain't exactly mobile. I'll be there though.

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Sounds good you can mock mine and help me lift it out of my car!

FYI U4 is at 1070 and still going. Note Cape had nothing to do with this brew and it is going well. It's not a consecration disaster.........

Stop talking, Chris.

Never........

paulthenurse said:

Stop talking, Chris.

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Don't worry. It's too easy. I don't bother any more.

I just moved here, and am looking to hook up with some fellow homebrewers. I'm currently doing brew in a bag (apartment) brewing. Really Partial Mashing...

Not sure what the homebrew scene is like around here... but I figured this would be a good place to start...

Later,

J

year2beer said:

I just moved here, and am looking to hook up with some fellow homebrewers. I'm currently doing brew in a bag (apartment) brewing. Really Partial Mashing...

Not sure what the homebrew scene is like around here... but I figured this would be a good place to start...

Later,

J

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Welcome, your in a room full of massholes so prepare. We have a pretty good group here and from all over.

Where are you located?

I see your from Alabama so Bird can fill you in on local laws regarding sheep and cousins.

Bird, your up…

year2beer said:

I just moved here, and am looking to hook up with some fellow homebrewers. I'm currently doing brew in a bag (apartment) brewing. Really Partial Mashing...

Not sure what the homebrew scene is like around here... but I figured this would be a good place to start...

Later,

J

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Any minute you'll get a marriage proposal from Yeager - don't be flattered, every guy, dog and Orangutan he comes across get's one.

Ok, you get one solid joke... then I fight back.

I live in Waltham, 10 miles from Boston.

Anyone close by? Any events coming up? I'm BRAND NEW TO THE AREA!!!

Thanks!

J

Hey Grits,
Don't let us inbred Neanderthals bother you. We'll probably spend most of our time busting your balls but we'll let you hang out with us. You might consider joining the South Shore Brew Club. Most of us are members. We meet at one house or another once a month to drink ourselves senseless and bust each others balls, all under the disguise of appreciating the finer points of beer. The truly amazing part is that our wives buy that bull****. For most of us, they probably know that's bullsheet but just go along to get rid of us for a night of peace and quiet.

So again, welcome.

PTN
ps
You need to show us pics of your wife in some provocative pose, preferably without clothes, if you want to hang with us. You're from Alabama, it's not like you don't already let other guys watch her shower for pocket change.

year2beer said:

I live in Waltham, 10 miles from Boston.

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And, I always thought it was out by Wooster

year2beer said:

I just moved here, and am looking to hook up with some fellow homebrewers. I'm currently doing brew in a bag (apartment) brewing. Really Partial Mashing...

Not sure what the homebrew scene is like around here... but I figured this would be a good place to start...

Later,

J

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These guys don't brew. Cape's just a fat cat bar owner, and PTN is just fat.

Sounds good...LMAO! I'd like to tag along with you guys sometime, just PM me for my cell. Look forward to getting retarded with you massholes!

J

Try Yeager. He's desperate for a friend, he might let you hang out.

And I'm not fat. I'm Rubenesque.

paulthenurse said:

And I'm not fat. I'm Rubenesque.

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I would just say your a rube.

By "Reubenesque," he means he likes to hang out in dark movie theaters with his pants down.

year2beer said:

I just moved here, and am looking to hook up with some fellow homebrewers. I'm currently doing brew in a bag (apartment) brewing. Really Partial Mashing...

Not sure what the homebrew scene is like around here... but I figured this would be a good place to start...

Later,

J

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Beeradvocate has an event coming up. I think there's still tix available. There's a good number of local breweries. It's a huge event. I think 5,000 people were waiting in line when I went last year. Good place to mingle.

http://beeradvocate.com/acbf/

They also hold smaller events at the Cyclorama like "Night of Funk" which is good. Harder to get tickets tho.

the_bird said:

By "Reubenesque," he means he likes to hang out in dark movie theaters with his pants down.

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Ha! Right on que!

the_bird said:

By "Reubenesque," he means he likes to hang out in dark movie theaters with his pants down.

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Well Your Honor, you see, I was just getting comfortable. I've put on a few pounds and those pants were a little tight.

paulthenurse said:

Well Your Honor, you see, I was just getting comfortable. I've put on a few pounds and those pants were a little tight.

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and when he says a few pounds its more like 50-100 pounds.

Welcome to Mass, year2beer. Eastern Ma has a very large and active beer culture. You will find breweries and beer pubs aplenty, and clubs are everywhere. You can even join the club these guys mentioned, but that could get you incarcerated. Or worse.

Boston is a great town to visit and hang out in. Waltham is right on 128 just west of Boston, so it would be a short T ride in and out of town.

I'm out in the Berkshires. For now.

barneygumble said:

Welcome to Mass, year2beer.

...

You can even join the club these guys mentioned, but that could get you incarcerated. Or worse.
...

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Only for fondling farm animals. But Cape does that often enough, and he hasn't had a problem. Yet.

He should have been arrested for what he did to that poor pig last July. That was just so wrong.

drowning that pig in all that fat was cruel and unusual

So, I'm building a fence at the new house. Digging a metric ****ton of fence post holes. Most of them going down ~3 1/2 feet, but at the top of the hill, there are a ton of trees, so a ton of roots, and the soil includes every freakin' rock that wasn't used in the foundation, it's a PITA.

So, the hole for the corner post, I'm down maybe 18 inches, and I can't get much further. I've got a big-ass metal bar with a sharp edge on it, I'm hitting that with a sledge, I'm chopping up roots, I'm digging out rocks, but it's slow going.

One spot in particular, it's real tough. I'm doing everything I can to get this one root out of the way. And, I finally cut through, cut a piece off.

It's not a gas line.

It's not an electric line.

It's a bone. Like, a dog's femur. Or a retarded stepchild. Probably a dog femur, though.

So.... WTF do I do now?!? I put the piece back in, but I *have* to put the corner post in that spot, I have to connect to an existing fence and I have other obstacles to work around. I guess that one post is only going to be 18" down. Maybe I'll put concrete around that one. Not sure yet.

But, ****. Appears I just dug up the old owners' dog. It's like Poltergeist meets Pet Cemetery, I just know I'm going to get bitten some night by a three-legged ghost dog. ****.

Don't worry, if it's a ghost it'll bite right through you!

Explosives?

DUDE!!!! Find the skull!!! You can tooooootally make a bong out of it!!

cape brewing said:

dude!!!! Find the skull!!! You can tooooootally make a bong out of it!!

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+1

I've done you a favor and called a friend of mine who works over at Harvard. He's the head of the Anthropology Department. He specializes in American Indians of the East Coast. I showed him your post and asked him how long it would take for such dense growth to cover a grave. He got ALL excited, started going on and on about growth rates and the Old Farmers Almanac and the Micmac Indian's Burial Rites and a bunch of other stuff that frankly, I couldn't even follow.

Well the upshot is that I gave him your address and he's on the Pike right now, with nine or ten grad students and they're headed your way. He asked my not to let you know they're coming, something about 'preserving the integrity of the site,' whatever that means.

The good news is that they'll be taking over and doing all the digging for you from now on. He was wicked excited, what with summer coming and him not having a summer excavation lined up. They'll be waiting for you when you get home from work. I wonder what he needed that injunction for that he called Judge Lowenstein about?

PTN

Ps
Do me a favor and don't tell him I told you. He wanted to surprise you, but I thought you might need some time to get the spare bedroom cleaned up.

Oh ya, they need a place to stay for a while. Only till the tents get there. They'll be set up by Monday.

Bird,

Good news. This also allows you to claim 1/32 Cherokee and to be accepted into Harvard due to your homestead lore. Elizabeth Warren is now performing a solstice dance and sweat lodge in your shed.

thedudelebowski said:

bird,

good news. This also allows you to claim 1/32 cherokee and to be accepted into harvard due to your homestead lore. Elizabeth warren is now performing a solstice dance and sweat lodge in your shed.

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bwahahahahahahaha!

So whats your Indian name gonna be? Bird with a Dog Bone? Dances with *****ebags? Hopping Mad?