Is it ok to brew beer if I don't have a beard ??

I don't think the Beer Gods have a problem with a moustache. It is, after all, male facial hair.

I do have a problem, however. I'm trying to figure out exactly WHY hair now grows wildly in my ears and in my nose...but NOT on the top of my head! What's the deal with that???

glenn514

Hex said:

Obviously some haven't learned the finer luxuries of a man's life.

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While nice looking gear it appears to be counter productive to facial hair. If I were to use this I would be afraid my beer would come out slick tasting.

Some like their beerd smooth, others hairy.

I was unable to grow a beard until I began to homebrew and drink homebrew so they must be related somehow.

I to have the homebrewers beard of power!

Its a home brew thing!

Hex said:

Obviously some haven't learned the finer luxuries of a man's life.

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Your post actually made me get a membership here. I love growing/having a beard, but when I need to shave I use quality implements. I love Tabac (especially in the winter; I didn't even know they had tubes). My brews have been really good as I usually don't shave before brew day. It also helps that I have a 5 O'clock shadow by noon.

As an aside; I'm really glad I found this forum.

Also, Groucho Marx didn't wear electrical tape for a mustache. He used gease paint. One day after visiting his wife and newly born daughter in the hospital, he got back to the theater just in time for his entrance and realized he didn't have on his fake mustache so he smeared grease paint on. He used that for many years. I figured with him being my namesake I should clear that up.

jrgroucho said:

Your post actually made me get a membership here.

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Sounds like you would want to check out the Wet Shaving Thread

And welcome to the forum!

I always have some sort of scruff on the weekends when I brew...I hope I'm not hurting my beers by not going all out. A couple of us guys in the military all grew out mustaches when we were in and all watching super troopers...


From IMDB:

Thorny: Who wants a moustache ride?
German Woman: Ooh, I vant von!
German Man: I do! I do!

Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun
Thorny: And his shenanigans are cruel and tragic :fro:

"A man who tempts fate and brews with out a beard may find himself the subject of the beer gods' wrath." ~Benjamin Franklin

Well, after my last two brew days and what I will call okay but not stellar beer, I am growing the beard. LOL! We shall see. If that doesnt work I may work on my process some also!

edroberts said:

Is that like, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"... Instead "If a person boils and ferments wort and does not have a beard, is it actually beer?"

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I can actually answer this. Technically sound is the brain's interpretation of SPL (sound pressure level) which is dependent on the atmospheric pressure interpreted by an ear drum and transmitted to the brain. If there is no ear drum and no brain present then a tree falling anywhere does not make a sound.

So if there is no beard/facial hair there is no beer. Glad I keep a goat.

static said:

So if there is no beard/facial hair there is no beer. Glad I keep a goat.

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It doesn't count unless you grow it yourself. The beer gods will undoubtedly notice if you tape goat clippings on your face...

Just have the goat dough in and you're golden

The wife hates the beard, but I grow it out for brewday anyway, luckily it grows fast. It just doesn't feel the same without it.

OClairBrew said:

The wife hates the beard, but I grow it out for brewday anyway, luckily it grows fast. It just doesn't feel the same without it.

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My girl LOVES the beard. Unfortunately, one of my jobs does not...

To the OPs question, Nope.

I find a shorn scrotum produces a better pilsner. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

paulster2626 said:

I find a shorn scrotum produces a better pilsner. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

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This link might be helpful https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f19/wet-shaving-thread-241840/

OClairBrew said:

The wife hates the beard, but I grow it out for brewday anyway, luckily it grows fast. It just doesn't feel the same without it.

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My wife loves the way I currently have it, but she gets crabby if its over 4-5 inches long

thepartsmancometh said:

My wife loves the way I currently have it, but she gets crabby if its over 4-5 inches long

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I'm really tempted to put this quote in my signature...

FirstStateBrewer said:

I think people with large beards are just compensating for other deficiencies in their lives! Perhaps that's why they have more time to brew. ;-)

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my guess is you can't grow facial hair?

If you read the fine print on your man card, full beards are required to brew. Otherwise you are violation and are subject to fines.

This of course would explain why women are allowed to brew with a clean face; they are not subject to man law.

OClairBrew said:

The wife hates the beard, but I grow it out for brewday anyway, luckily it grows fast. It just doesn't feel the same without it.

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I've given up on the beard. Every SWMBO I've ever had has hated it. I have found that using Movember as an excuse works well. She can't hate the beard because that would mean she hates men's health :cross:

And I make them shave it off for me on December 1st. They really gets em going.

MOstly during fermentation time having a beard becomes necesary, yeasties can actually see you and they will accept women without a beard but certantly not men.
And is a fact that if you want to brew a good beer you have to have a beard.
I have to shave for my job but I came up with a plan I collected my facial hair and glu it together and made a bear that I wear when making starters and around my fermenters. Hopefully yeasties won´t note the difference

Obliviousbrew said:

I have to shave for my job but I came up with a plan I collected my facial hair and glu it together and made a bear that I wear when making starters and around my fermenters. Hopefully yeasties won´t note the difference

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I'm pretty sure the yeasties will notice that bear strapped to your face. What i don't get is why go to the trouble, bears are pretty hairy already. Seems like gluing your facial hair to it is over kill. Won't it just blend in?

H-ost said:

Sounds like you would want to check out the Wet Shaving Thread

And welcome to the forum!

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Man, that was a poorly named thread. My hopes were really high on that one.

A long flowing neck beard is the key to making a fantastic mead.

This is just in:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/26/beard-beer-rogue-ales-yeast-john-maier_n_1917119.html
I don't remember if we already mentioned it here in this thread:

Rogue Ales, a brewery and pub based in Newport, Ore., is developing an ale made out of yeast harvested from the beard of award-winning brewmaster John "More Hops" Maier.

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SWMBO actually forbids me to shave mine. A goatee is fine for a month or two during the summer, but I better have the full on beard by September. No beard, no homebrewing. If you can't grow a beard, go make wine.

That is why in middle earth the dwarves brewed the best beer, their women have beards

I usually only have a beard in the winter , so my summer brews usually suck

billf2112 said:

That is why in middle earth the dwarves brewed the best beer, their women have beards

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Wow this had me rolling! Nice!

And yeah, brewing without a beard is bad juju to say the least.

Even my mash paddle has a beard............Stay thirsty my friends.........

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f0d0/?mobile=0

The real answer for what to buy next to most improve my beer threads.

Whattawort said:

If you can't grow a beard, go make wine.

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I agree totally!

Also has anyone been to Austin homebrew in person? Not to plug them it really is beard Mecca over there.

I have had a beard for the entirety of my brewing career, it pays.

FYI - the Will Wheton beards don't count. AKA - trendy 5 o clock shadow beards.

FWIW I go full mountain man in winter and more of a trimmed Amish thing in the summer. It makes the shaved head look that much better.

I'm sure Mr. Wheton is on here somewhere. He's a proud homebrewer, but kinda stingy on his recipes. Must not be that good. (I'm calling you out Will)