Financial Advice for the Beer Drinker

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Bernie Brewer

Grouchy Old Fart
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Location
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A little something sent to me by an accountant friend of mine:

Here is some important financial advice:

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one
year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the
original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, of $1000.00 you would have had less
than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one
year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans
for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have made
$214.00. Based on the above, the best current
investment advice is to drink heavily and
recycle.........

It's called the 401-Keg Plan

Happy Investing! :D
 
RichBrewer said:
Not good beer.

Heinecken is the exception. It's much better in a can than it is in a bottle. I think that green glass skunks the beer on its long boat ride from Amsterdam to the U.S.
 
Wait a minute...

Who said that they don't put good beer in cans!! Old Chub Scottish Ale from Oskar Blues and Dales Pale Ale (from the same brewery) are fantastic!

Old Chub:
4.05 (BeerAdvocate.com)
3.67 (RateBeer.com) 91 percentile

Dales Pale Ale:
3.9 (BeerAdvocate.com)
3.75 (RateBeer.com) 94 percentile



Compare that with Heinkeken
2.7 (BeerAdvocate.com)
2.17 (RateBeer.com) 10 percentile


But that's about it.
 
ablrbrau said:
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one
year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans
for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have made
$214.00. Based on the above, the best current
investment advice is to drink heavily and
recycle.........

Wait a sec...let's figure this out. $1,000 of beer @ an average price of about $12 for a case. That's 2,000 cans of beer. At a nickle per can, that's $100.

Your calculations (based on a nickle return rate which, in itself is high) figure an average cost per case of about $5.62. Even at a bulk discount, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be THAT low, even for beer on the cheaper end.

Second off, drinking between 2,000 and 4,280 cans of beer (the amount in your proposal) in one year is a very, very bad decision. That's a 6er a day minimum EVERY day of the year.
 
RichBrewer said:
Not good beer.

Our local microbrew Capitol Brewery in Madison, WI makes good beer and puts it in cans so that those of us who like to drink decent beer can take their products to local parks--- where glass containers are illegal and bulk delivery systems attract LEO attention.
 
kornkob said:
Our local microbrew Capitol Brewery in Madison, WI makes good beer and puts it in cans so that those of us who like to drink decent beer can take their products to local parks--- where glass containers are illegal and bulk delivery systems attract LEO attention.

:off: Kornkob, what do you think of the New Glarus fruit beers?
 
It seems very clear to me the best place to invest your money:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth @ $49.00.


With Enron, you would have had @ $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.


With World Com, you would have had less than $5.00 left.


With Lucent, you would have @ $3.50 left of the original $1000.00


But; if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND you would have had $214.00!


Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.


It's called the 401-Keg Plan.




Hmmmm . . . let's discuss this over a beer.
 
the_bird said:
You're the one who set me up with your little sister!

That's it, you're officially on my "owes me a pinky" list!

Cut off your pinky and send me a PM and I'll let you know the address. Maybe you and Dude can ship your pinkies together and save on shipping!
 
Whoa, sorry guys, I must've walked into the the wrong room. I didn't want to be hearing about anyone owing any 'pinkies' ;-)

uhm... I'll just be going now... *backs away slowly*
 
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

If you had purchased United Airlines you would have nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
 
SuperiorBrew said:
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00.

Am I missing something with my math here, but wouldn't you need 4280 cans (assuming $.05 deposit) to get $214 back? Assuming you bought nothing but 30 packs, you would need 143 30 packs to get the required amount of cans. With $1000 to spend, that would work out to about $7 a 30 pack. I can't think of any beer you can get that cheap.

Maybe I should have just rolled with it, but I feel like challenging things today. :D
 
CrazyToad said:
Am I missing something with my math here, but wouldn't you need 4280 cans (assuming $.05 deposit) to get $214 back? Assuming you bought nothing but 30 packs, you would need 143 30 packs to get the required amount of cans. With $1000 to spend, that would work out to about $7 a 30 pack. I can't think of any beer you can get that cheap.

Maybe I should have just rolled with it, but I feel like challenging things today. :D

Ummm ... not every state has a recycling deposit for cans and bottles.
 
If your state does not have a deposit plan you may have to lay the cans out in the driveway and do a roll over.
 
CrazyToad said:
Am I missing something with my math here, but wouldn't you need 4280 cans (assuming $.05 deposit) to get $214 back? Assuming you bought nothing but 30 packs, you would need 143 30 packs to get the required amount of cans. With $1000 to spend, that would work out to about $7 a 30 pack. I can't think of any beer you can get that cheap.

Maybe I should have just rolled with it, but I feel like challenging things today. :D

Maybe the author is from Michigan where the deposit is $0.10 :mug:
 
There is a better way of doing it if you have some ground to work with. Start with a pair of breeding hogs and a few rabbits. Sell off all the male pigs but keep all the male rabbits. When you reach a point where you have 100 female pigs and 100 male rabbits you should be quite well off as you would have 200 sows and bucks!
 
RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR 2008

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now
be
worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have
$36.00
left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all
the beer,
then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would
have
had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily
and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
 
A forwarded e-mail from SWMBO:

RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR 2008

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now
be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have
$49.00 left

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan
 
RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR 2008

As I am sure that you know, the American Economy is down in the dumps
and the Federal Reserve cut interest rates again today. By cutting the
interest rate again, after just cutting it last month, this is drawing
the comparison of efforts enacted just before the Great Depression. As
I would like all of you to be financially set I am sending you some
information on a plan that might keep you ahead in these uncertain
financial times.

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have
$49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund,
you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg.

--This begs the questin, "cans? Who uses cans?!"
:mug:
 
My 401-keg was full, so I started another one.

But not to worry, all will be okay! I'm getting a $600 kicker check thats going to magically jump-start the economy!:cross:
 

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