Oh boy, may be the end of my brewing days...

This is not coming off. SWMBO will definitely make me stop brewing in the kitchen if I cannot get this clean.

Any suggestions?

Yep! Find a turkey fryer on clearance and move to the garage

As for the mess, sorry can help. You may be able to make up a spray bottle of PBW, spray it on, let it soak, and attack it with soft scrub and a brillo.

That or you could just buy her that new stove she has been wanting...

I would try easy-off oven cleaner on it. Spray a healthy foam of that on there and let it sit for 15 minutes or so and see what will come off... It should do the trick.

Panic always works best for me.

try soaking a towel in something(star san, oxyclean, water) and lay it on top. Let it sit for a while and soften up, then try and remove it.

My solution, leave it! This is your excuse to go all electric and build a rig in the garage. Congrats, you gave her the motivation she needed.

I've never used oven cleaner and I bet that would be the best and quickest, I'll have to try it next time.

But I have had good luck with a paste made with oxyclean...wet the area the put oxyclean on the wet area, and kinda rub it in with your fingers til it's like a paste, then wet it down some more (I use a spray botte)

I let it sit for about an hour, then use elbow grease. Sometimes I'll work moore oxyclean into it as it foams, and wet it down repeatedly)

Then if there's anything left I find that this works great.



Actually you could skip the ozyclean and use a few of these and elbow grease as well.) But unless you buy them in bulk, it's not economical because they destroy themselves during tough stains.

If there is still anything I find that a fine grit wet/dry sanding sponge (wet of course), going really carefully with it over the post (use and edge of it) will remove the biomatter before it takes off the surface...I use it on my brewpots as well

Also, I use fermcap-s foam control drops in my brewing, both on the stove and in my turkey fryer, you can fill nearly to the brim, get a rolling boil going and (like I often do) go and take a nap between hop additions, without worry about boilovers...

My advice...

Leave it and get your @ss chewed. Then get a burner and move outside. You'll never want to do it in the kitchen again!

Magic eraser (like Revvy just mentioned) works everytime for me.

double_e5 said:

My advice...

Leave it and get your @ss chewed. Then get a burner and move outside. You'll never want to do it in the kitchen again!

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until it's fricking 5*F out then your gonna want to be able to brew inside with the swmbo's blessing so clean that mess up and next time watch your pot!

eriktlupus said:

until it's fricking 5*F out then your gonna want to be able to brew inside with the swmbo's blessing so clean that mess up and next time watch your pot!

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+1 on this....you don't want to burn any kitchen brewing bridges behind you even if you do get to go outside and play. Never know when you are gonna want to stay nice and warm.

I spayed on the easy-off and let it sit. Still was a ***** to scrape off.

Jesus H., Do any of you guys have a functioning set of cohones? Yeah, clean it because you made a mess. But If you're all sweated up because the ol lady is gonna get mad. Get the frilly apron out and turn in your man card. The kitchen is just as much mine as it is hers.

I would start with a scraper to lift the big chunks. Then move on to the oven cleaner.

Bunch a Nancy's

10% bleach and water solution. Spray it on, then let it sit for 20 minutes. That should get most of it up.

I have had limited success with oxyclean. But I was soaking it on it, not using a towel saturated with it.

IowaHarry said:

Jesus H., Do any of you guys have a functioning set of cohones? Yeah, clean it because you made a mess. But If you're all sweated up because the ol lady is gonna get mad. Get the frilly apron out and turn in your man card. The kitchen is just as much mine as it is hers.

I would start with a scraper to lift the big chunks. Then move on to the oven cleaner.

Bunch a Nancy's

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Holy crap was that funny!

Paint over it with high-gloss white paint. When she asks why the stove is all bumpy, tell her it's always been like that. The trick here is conviction. If she argues it, defend your lie to the death.

Time and water made the Grand Canyon and will remove this.
Maybe one of the other solutions mentioned will work faster, I've never felt the need to try them.
Give a good scrub with your scrubbie. Then get hot water on it and wait ... 5 minutes or so. Repeat and it will come off.
The key is making opennings for the water to get into so it can work its magic.

all the above is funny! but really, an SOS pad should do the trick.

IowaHarry said:

Jesus H., Do any of you guys have a functioning set of cohones? Yeah, clean it because you made a mess. But If you're all sweated up because the ol lady is gonna get mad. Get the frilly apron out and turn in your man card. The kitchen is just as much mine as it is hers.

I would start with a scraper to lift the big chunks. Then move on to the oven cleaner.

Bunch a Nancy's

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Are you saying she has no right to be mad? The OP screwed up and knows it. If he cannot repair his mistake then his SWMBO is very likely to be mad (unless she really wanted a new stove and can use this as an excuse). If my wife tried to use a tool and damaged it in the process I would not be likely to let her use it again unless she fixed it and/or showed me she had learned how to use it. Why should you be any different? Be a human and learn to consider other peoples feelings!

As for the OP, Bar Keepers Friend may help you remove that. It will definately require elbow grease.

Craig

IowaHarry said:

Jesus H., Do any of you guys have a functioning set of cohones? Yeah, clean it because you made a mess. But If you're all sweated up because the ol lady is gonna get mad. Get the frilly apron out and turn in your man card. The kitchen is just as much mine as it is hers.

I would start with a scraper to lift the big chunks. Then move on to the oven cleaner.

Bunch a Nancy's

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Right on. Glad to know I'm not the only one with some stones here.

I vote for killing the wife before she finds out. Problem solved.

What a mess! Hopefully it comes off.

If I did that, it'd be ok unless Bob saw it. If he saw that, I'd better hope every tiny bit came off. It doesn't have anything to do with who has the bigger stones- it has to do with respecting household property. I'd be upset if he messed up something in the house and didn't fix it, too. Same thing.

It's a really good thing he didn't come home early the day I was brewing in the kitchen, and was draining the wort chiller into my Igloo cooler to "save" the water for my fishpond. I got distracted, and flooded the entire kitchen and dining room, then the water poured down the basement stairs. I thought I had it all cleaned up, but then he said after dinner, "I just used the downstairs bathroom and I think there is something wrong with the plumbing down there. Everything is soaking wet and there is water on the floor". I played dumb, though. I told him that if it continued, I'd call a plumber. I think he knew it was something I did, but he didn't say a word.

CBBaron said:

Are you saying she has no right to be mad? The OP screwed up and knows it. If he cannot repair his mistake then his SWMBO is very likely to be mad (unless she really wanted a new stove and can use this as an excuse). If my wife tried to use a tool and damaged it in the process I would not be likely to let her use it again unless she fixed it and/or showed me she had learned how to use it. Why should you be any different? Be a human and learn to consider other peoples feelings!

As for the OP, Bar Keepers Friend may help you remove that. It will definately require elbow grease.

Craig

Craig

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As I said, clean up your mess because you made it, not because your wife may or may not be mad. Whether my wife may be mad about what I do or don't do is irrelevant. How mean is it for you to refuse to let your wife use a tool? What, is she a child that has to get your permission to use something?

Be considerate, that is fine. If you fear your wife, ya got bigger problems.

Oven cleaner, a scrubbing pad or brush and a LOT of elbow grease. Good luck man.

YooperBrew said:

What a mess! Hopefully it comes off.

If I did that, it'd be ok unless Bob saw it. If he saw that, I'd better hope every tiny bit came off. It doesn't have anything to do with who has the bigger stones- it has to do with respecting household property. I'd be upset if he messed up something in the house and didn't fix it, too. Same thing.

It's a really good thing he didn't come home early the day I was brewing in the kitchen, and was draining the wort chiller into my Igloo cooler to "save" the water for my fishpond. I got distracted, and flooded the entire kitchen and dining room, then the water poured down the basement stairs. I thought I had it all cleaned up, but then he said after dinner, "I just used the downstairs bathroom and I think there is something wrong with the plumbing down there. Everything is soaking wet and there is water on the floor". I played dumb, though. I told him that if it continued, I'd call a plumber. I think he knew it was something I did, but he didn't say a word.

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I flooded my house once by forgetting that the sink was on and I was filling up my swamp cooler. I was a little druck on HBT and I forgot. It sucked.

You should be thankful... I don't think my wife knows where the stove is

+1 on oven cleaner and elbow grease. Any time I made a mess in the kitchen this worked for me.

Great photo! Ha! How many times have we seen that. Do like the Portuguese grandmothers and myself and get a gas stove in the basement!

llazy_llama said:

Paint over it with high-gloss white paint. When she asks why the stove is all bumpy, tell her it's always been like that. The trick here is conviction. If she argues it, defend your lie to the death.

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"It's not a lie if you believe it."
-George Costanza

I've cleaned off worse messes than that.

Make a slurry of baking soda and water and let it sit on that sucker for a couple hours and it'll likely just wipe away.

Seriously, nothing trumps baking soda for cleaning power, it's a powdered nuclear warhead.

impatient said:

This is not coming off. SWMBO will definitely make me stop brewing in the kitchen if I cannot get this clean.

Any suggestions?

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Bah! That's nothing. My stovetop is way worse. Never be the same again in fact (mine not yours) and I am the one who scrubs it the most. It ain't from brewing either. I do probably 75% of the cooking but my wife and I are both not the cleanest tidiest folks out there.

All the suggestions are great. One other is Bar Keepers Friend. Test it first in an "inconspicuous spot" as they say. It is generally safe on enameled steel though which most stovetops are. I use it all the time on our enameled steel sink and occasionally when I get around to it on our stove.

impatient said:

This is not coming off. SWMBO will definitely make me stop brewing in the kitchen if I cannot get this clean.

Any suggestions?

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Meh... Glad this situation is resolved.

In my case, I would have done my best to clean it up. Then place a large pot of boiling water on this burner. When SWMBO gets home ask her to watch it for a few... Give it ten minutes then run into the kitchen flailing your arms screaming what did you do!!??

Even the color and texture with more burnt wort.

Belt sander.

Equal parts Cream of Tartar and Vinegar. Make a paste and rub it on the stains. Let it sit for a while and then wipe off. Some scrubbing probably necessary, but Cream of Tartar was a lifesaver for me on more than one occasion.

Goto auto parts store and get a engine carbon buildup cleaner. I have used the injector cleaners with sucess. Dab it on and let it break down the deposit.

Test in an inconspicuous area as it may take off the sheen too.

supermoth said:

all the above is funny! but really, an SOS pad should do the trick.

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and an sos pad will ruin the finish of the top. warm water cover with towel and wipe. repeat as needed. its carmalized sugars which just need to be heated and liquefied. i have one of those steamers though and use it to clean my stove all the time when i make a mess.

A few more suggestions

1. Badger Spit
2. Pickle Juice
3. Sledgehammer
4. Pornography

Sorry, the suggestions were just getting more and more random. Seriously, there's probably a thousand good cleaners out there that will work fine with a rough sponge and some hard work. If you're lazy like me, there are plenty (oxyclean, bleach, etc...) that should work fine if you just let it soak for an hour or so.

Good luck!

Dremel with buffing pad and comet cleanser.

Sand blast with aluminum oxide, repaint the thing and then vacuum. Works for rubber molding dies, should work on this mess. Your stove will be shot, you floor will never be clean the the vacuum will be plugged.

Or Baking soda and water.