So I got divorced about 8 years ago, and I ended up with custody of my two kids. My son is currently 13 and my daughter is 11. Lately I've been getting into a lot of fights with my son. I mostly just chalk it up to him being a teenager. That, and he's just as bull headed and stubborn as I am.
I don't have Facebook, or any other kind of digital social network association, but I do rely on my ex-wife and other friends to keep me up to date on anything that may be of concern. A recent post on his facebook account was brought up to me, and it seems that he recently got into an argument with an unnamed female friend of his. Since he broke up with his first girlfriend a few weeks ago, and is currently "dating" someone else, this was a concern to me. FYI, he assures me the breakup was mutual.
I talked to him this afternoon about what was going on, and he pretty much stonewalled me. I explained to him that he has a lot of influences in his life right now and I want to know if anything is a problem for him. In short, he explained to me that he doesn't really want to talk to me about it, he'd rather talk to his mom (who I get along with great, but lives in a different time zone). His reasoning is that he is closer to her than he is to me.
The longer I think about this, the more it breaks my heart.
For the past several years, these two kids have been my whole life. And it just kills me to think that he doesn't trust me enough to talk to me. So I'm left trying to figure out if this is typical teenager separation, or should I be concerned? After a couple of particularly bad arguments a few months ago, the suggestion was brought up that maybe he should live with his mother. This came from her, but originated by my son. Would this be a good idea? She has assured him that circumstances would be no different at her house than at mine, but I'm concerned with the type of people he would be exposed to while there, and I don't think that anyone would make the same expectations about college that I do.
So my questions are...
Is this normal behavior?
Should I give any serious consideration to him moving in with his mother and step-father, and if so, under what circumstances should it be made?
And for the record, I am also discussing this with my father and step-mother. I respect their opinion, but I feel like I should get more opinions from others. I don't really know anyone at work who is in even a remotely similar situation. The only people I know who are divorced with children, really don't talk to their kids. Thanks for any replies.
J
I don't have Facebook, or any other kind of digital social network association, but I do rely on my ex-wife and other friends to keep me up to date on anything that may be of concern. A recent post on his facebook account was brought up to me, and it seems that he recently got into an argument with an unnamed female friend of his. Since he broke up with his first girlfriend a few weeks ago, and is currently "dating" someone else, this was a concern to me. FYI, he assures me the breakup was mutual.
I talked to him this afternoon about what was going on, and he pretty much stonewalled me. I explained to him that he has a lot of influences in his life right now and I want to know if anything is a problem for him. In short, he explained to me that he doesn't really want to talk to me about it, he'd rather talk to his mom (who I get along with great, but lives in a different time zone). His reasoning is that he is closer to her than he is to me.
The longer I think about this, the more it breaks my heart.
For the past several years, these two kids have been my whole life. And it just kills me to think that he doesn't trust me enough to talk to me. So I'm left trying to figure out if this is typical teenager separation, or should I be concerned? After a couple of particularly bad arguments a few months ago, the suggestion was brought up that maybe he should live with his mother. This came from her, but originated by my son. Would this be a good idea? She has assured him that circumstances would be no different at her house than at mine, but I'm concerned with the type of people he would be exposed to while there, and I don't think that anyone would make the same expectations about college that I do.
So my questions are...
Is this normal behavior?
Should I give any serious consideration to him moving in with his mother and step-father, and if so, under what circumstances should it be made?
And for the record, I am also discussing this with my father and step-mother. I respect their opinion, but I feel like I should get more opinions from others. I don't really know anyone at work who is in even a remotely similar situation. The only people I know who are divorced with children, really don't talk to their kids. Thanks for any replies.
J