The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Oh gee, what a darned shame! I don't expect to get back to the dock till 4:01 and then I still have to finish shucking all those scallops. Given how many I expect to come home with there is now way I'll be done shucking by the time we hit the dock. Oh well. Too bad for you. I'll just si on the boat and shuck and drink beer till late in the night.
 
LOL... Ok, joking aside. How should we cook em? I even mentioned it al to the SWMBO and she even said you could drop some off. Originally she said, "as long as he keeps the truck running..." but I think I've got her to the point where you can stay long enough for half a beer. HALF.
 
I think they are best broiled, either plain or dusted with a pinch of Bay seasoning. The big, offshore ones that I'll be getting lend themselves quite well to both broiling or pan searing. But since you will be getting your scallops at the Stop and Shop you will probably get the smaller bay scallops. Same thing but you can also use them in sauces, like a Fra Diablo with linguine. One of my favorite things to do with bay scallops is to make a shrimp and scallop pizza.

Just don't overcook them, no matter what size you end up getting. Underdone is much better than overdone.
 
Birds right, pan searing them lightly is the only way to go.

Broiling them, you can dry them out to quickly, same as grilling them. Smoking turns them to jerky. (cape knows that taste all to well)

If you use flavored oils that will give your best results.
 
Broiling only dries them out if you leave them under the broiler too long. Single layer, coated with butter, as close to the fire as you can get, hottest broiler setting you have. Two minutes, tops.

Pan seared in bacon fat is a close second, but the smoking point of the bacon fat is too low so you can't really sear them.

I wont order scallops in resteraunts because they are always over cooked.
 
I don't think the smoke point for bacon is much different than butter. Butter smokes pretty low (350°, from what I can find); I can't find a specific number for bacon grease, but lard seems to be more like 370°. Just cooking with both over the years, I don't think there's a helluva lot of difference.
 
You just want enough oil, butter, bacon fat, or what ever to just roll around the pan. 2 tbsp max. You shouldn't be hitting the smoke point of your oil any ways. If you do that's too high of heat and your burning not searing.

I use 1 tbsp chili oil and I add 1 tbsp butter. Gives a little heat and cooks perfectly.

Oil and garlic is good too.
 
Don't try and sear a full pan's worth at one time, and you don't need to get the oil to the smoke point. I yell at my wife all the time, she burns the hell out of the oil because she's got the oil a lot hotter than she needs. "Why shouldn't I put the burner on 'high," I want to sear it!" "Because you're burning the **** out of the oil and filling the house with nasty-ass smoke!"
 
Ok... Think about eating a scallop.

Now think about how much better scallops are wrapped in bacon...

Now think about how much better the bacon wpuld be if the scallop wasnt there.

I'll skip the scallops and just eat bacon thanks.
 
paulthenurse said:
Yelling at the_wife all the time... Bad idea.
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We've been bickering like an old married couple since our second date (our first date was mostly ****ing). Yet, we've got a wonderful marriage. I was even mostly nice at the DiFranco show ("Well, OK, I grant you, some of her music wasn't as terrible as the rest of her music"). Works for us.
 
Yes, I am a nerd no argument there.

I'm full of useless crap and have plenty to share.

Let the quoting begin.
 
http://philly.sbnation.com/philadelphia-phillies/2011/11/11/2555037/jonathan-papelbon-phillies

Nov 11, 2011 - Free agent closer Jonathan Papelbon has come to terms with the Philadelphia Phillies, according to Jim Salisbury of Comcast Sports Philadelphia.

Sources tell Salisbury that Papelbon's contract will approach $50 million for four years, pending a physical. The soon-to-be 31-year old closer has compiled a 2.33 ERA and 219 saves during seven big league seasons, all spent in Boston. He posted a 2.94 ERA and 31 saves during the 2011 season.

The Phillies had reportedly been very close to retaining closer Ryan Madson on Monday, but ESPN cited sources who said the negotiations with Madson splintered. The team had been in contact with Papelbon since the free agency period began at 12:01 a.m. on Nov. 6, and their interest in Papelbon reportedly "never waned."

Because of Papelbon's status as a type A free agent, the Phillies will need to surrender their top draft pick to Boston.
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$50M's a lot of money to spend on a closer, although, spread over four years isn't TOO bad. I just want to see the knuckleheads gone, though, and they don't get much more knuckle-ey than Paps.

You think ownership will start spreading bogus rumors about him, though, like they did with Tito's supposed drug additction? We could call that Paps-Smearing.
 
Four years 50 million! Well, I wish him luck, I always liked him. Damned good pitcher, ice water in his veins. Philly overpaid , but Pap was always about getting the recognition ($) and it's no surprise he jumped ship to follow the money. Plus, I'm sure jumping ship and getting away from that dysfunctional locker too carried a lit of weight.
 
Yakima 300

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