I am an idiot

Rondacker said:

You need consistent temperature control also.

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Good point. Is leaving my socks on sufficent? Or should I wear a hat? I was going to grow a beard but my wife wasn't too keen on that.

Well it happened!
(confetti and balloons dropping)
Now my hand is forced to dump more hops in a beer than I've put in all batches this year combined. I'll be out of town till the beginning of October. But rest assured, upon my return, I'll be brewing the black IPA I promised. I'll post the recipe and pics as well. Until that time there's no reason to stop being idiots. And maybe work on a name for this beer in honor of menerdari.

Well we got to 600 posts so Wesley it´s brewing a black IPA, I just checked and I have 30+ posts in this thread (yeah I have no life) so that means that I should get 5% of the beer that Wesleys it´s going to brew? Is this rigth or I´m an idiot?

I think I'm an idiot. How do you know you have 30+ posts? Did you reread the thread and count?

static said:

I think I'm an idiot. How do you know you have 30+ posts? Did you reread the thread and count?

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MMM.. go to your subcribe post page place arrow over the little envolope on the left hand side of your screen just by the name of the post with half a sec and it will say how many posts you have in the thread. Wait an hour more and turtle will appear

How is it that a thread full of idiots (myself included) missed National Talk Like A Pirate Day?

See i told you i was an idiot. Counting this post i will have 28 posts in this thread. Will the turtle be wearing pink poka dot pants?

The_Dog_42 said:

How is it that a thread full of idiots (myself included) missed National Talk Like A Pirate Day?

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I didn't miss it. Yarr

I stand corrected (didn't read your post until I was at home and SWMBO was in bed, so I missed it).

But I still say y'all missed a prime opportunity to plunder some exotic animals with a proper dialect and all.

static said:

See i told you i was an idiot. Counting this post i will have 28 posts in this thread. Will the turtle be wearing pink poka dot pants?

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At least you're less than half the idiot I am. I have 74 posts in this thread. My turtle was wearing a monocle and a cape.

Edit: 75 including this one.

menerdari said:

I smell a new idiot beer

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I smell an old idiot. Oh wait, that's me. Never mind....

Arr that be true matey that be true.

So what's Wesley making when the thread hits 1200? A DBIPA?

Oh it's hitting 1200

Who said they were going to do an open wild fermentation at 1000?

Well I it hit´s 2000 I´m making A quad with an immobilize yeast in a solution of alginate (No I´m not kidding)

Obliviousbrew said:

Well I it hit´s 2000 I´m making A quad with an immobilize yeast in a solution of alginate (No I´m not kidding)

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A what???

Dan said:

A what???

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A Quad but A little higher in alcohol let´s say 15% + and to ferment it I will use a yeast inmobilized in an calcium and alginate solution (those little spheres that you see in molecular cooking like fake caviar and stuff) this is in order to encapsulate the yeast and make the surrondings have less concetration of sugars, this alginate membrane it´s permeable enough to allow some yeast grown and helps to keep it viable for a longer period.

If you're not pulling my leg you'd best be careful as you might loose your idiot status. Your last post has to be the most intelligent post on this thread! :fro:

bleme said:

Who said they were going to do an open wild fermentation at 1000?

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Yep, 1000 posts and open wild fermentation!
Open fermentation in an interstate truck stop restroom for 48 hours then on to a turtle and hamster farm.

Obliviousbrew said:

Well I it hit´s 2000 I´m making A quad with an immobilize yeast in a solution of alginate (No I´m not kidding)

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You're border line losing your idiot status...

Dan said:

If you're not pulling my leg you'd best be careful as you might loose your idiot status. Your last post has to be the most intelligent post on this thread! :fro:

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My appologies I don´t want to ruin the current idiotic status quo.
I´ll be brew a quad wearing a turtle custome then

Obliviousbrew said:

(those little spheres that you see in molecular cooking like fake caviar and stuff) this is in order to encapsulate the yeast and make the surrondings have less concetration of sugars, this alginate membrane it´s permeable enough to allow some yeast grown and helps to keep it viable for a longer period.

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is that like those little spheres you put a hamster in so he can roll around the house?

menerdari said:

is that like those little spheres you put a hamster in so he can roll around the house?

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LOL I think that was less idiotic than pretended. YES, something like that

For your next brew day.....

Atomic Buffalo Turds

Allrigth then that as an appetizer and as main course:


A turd sandwich!!!!

AMonkey said:

Good point. Is leaving my socks on sufficent? Or should I wear a hat? I was going to grow a beard but my wife wasn't too keen on that.

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You can use socks. However, you may need to enlarge the holes ( use holy socks) to control temps. This is PID control; podiatric indicated de-temperisation.

bleme said:

Who said they were going to do an open wild fermentation at 1000?

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That would be me

I also said that I would provide moral support to WesleyS and copy cat his CDA/BIPA at 600.

So here's what I've been cooking:

I give you, Stumbling Bumbling Idiot (Based on Deschutes Hop in the Dark)

Method: Extract
Style: CDA
Boil Time: 60 min
Batch Size: 6 gallons
Boil Size: 6 gallons
Efficiency: 70%
Original Gravity: 1.067 Final Gravity: 1.015 ABV (standard): 6.83% IBU (tinseth): 74.13 SRM (morey): 37.61 Fermentables

Amount Fermentable PPG °L Bill %

7 lb Dry Malt Extract - Light 42 4 64%
0.84 lb Dry Malt Extract - Munich 42 8 7.7%
0.32 lb Belgian Candi Sugar - Dark 38 275 2.9% (late addition)

Hot Steeping Grains
0.84 lb Flaked Oats 33 2.2 7.7%

Cold Steeping Grains (24H@55f top to 6 gal, full boil)
0.32 lb Chocolate 29 350 2.9%
0.32 lb Black Barley 27 530 2.9%
0.48 lb Chocolate Wheat 31 413 4.4%
0.48 lb Caramel / Crystal 120L 33 120 4.4%
0.34 lb Roasted Flaked Oats 33 2.2 3.1%

Hops
1 oz Northern Brewer 60 min 7.8AAU Pellet
1 oz Nugget 60 min 14AAU Pellet
1 oz Centennial 30 min 10AAU Pellet
0.92 oz Amarillo 10 days 8.6AAU Leaf/Whole Dry Hop
0.92 oz Citra 10 days 11AAU Leaf/Whole Dry Hop
0.92 oz Cascade 10 days 7AAU Leaf/Whole Dry Hop

Yeast
White Labs - Nottingham Ale Yeast WLP039
Attenuation (avg): 77.5% Flocculation: Med-High
Optimum Temperature: 66°F - 70°F Starter: Yes

Add pre-boiled chilled water before pitching to achieve 6 gals of wort. I'm thinking the extra gallon should help account for trub/dry hop loss.

I should have noted that the amounts on the cold steeping grains needs to be multiplied x3 to account for efficiency loss.

Dan said:

Consulting with my daughter..

That should have been. "come at me bro" ..oops

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You mean "come at me, brew.". Sheesh.

Anyone know how I can get a water report? I've got 12.5 gallons of unicorn urine I want to use for my next brew.

Skagdog said:

Anyone know how I can get a water report? I've got 12.5 gallons of unicorn urine I want to use for my next brew.

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Have you tried the Ministry of Magic?

I did some "research" today for inspiration.
From right to left:
Pride and Joy
Robert the Bruce
Alpha King
Dreadnaught IPA
All except for the second having more hops than I usually put in a beer, but they tasted great.




And Moloko- sweet stout, also great.

Skagdog said:

Anyone know how I can get a water report? I've got 12.5 gallons of unicorn urine I want to use for my next brew.

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I don't always drink urine, but when I do, I prefer bud lite.
Stay thirsty my friends.

WesleyS said:

I don't always drink urine, but when I do, I prefer bud lite.
Stay thirsty my friends.

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lol

I am feeling sick too!! and not just from reading this thread!!

Good thing I have a well stocked medicine cabinet.....

34 bottles left of my robitussin cherry wheat

12 bottles left of my acetaminophen ale

83 bottles of my LSD baltic Porter

and 45 bottles of my laxative lager

Where's the dramamine double? A co-worker has been having Vertigo and I can't think of a better cure.

Just an idea for the Idiot IPA label.

Those shining stars. Those beauteous thoughts. Into this fen. Thou hast been pitched.