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Decojuicer said:
About 6 years ago, my wife and I were at a retirement party for my BIL. They had a keg of Bud Light(this was shortly before I got into craft beer), and at about 2am, somebody decided that it would be a good idea to go get a bunch of crave cases. Fifteen of us demolished 3 cave cases in under 10 minutes and threw all the boxes into the fire for the prettiest flame that you ever saw.

Fast forward about 3 hours to when SWMBO and I were sleeping. I get woken up with a punch to the ribs and the following, "You a$$, you just s*** the bed!!" Well, my nose started working right then, and I thought, "Damn, maybe I did!!" I got up and checked, and fortunately, it was just the most rancid fart ever.

The next morning my wife warned me that if I ever mix White Castle and keg beer again, she will divorce me. I think that she meant it.
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Genius! Simply Genius!
 
FTW!!!!..........

paulthenurse said:
Shecky,

I'm just wondering? Lets say Revvy's hot to trot suburban housefrau were stalking you instead of him, and she ended up taking you back to her place after a few drinks. The two of you ended up sitting on a nice couch on her porch, and after a few more drinks she was screaming "Take me, Shecky. Right now! Quick before my husband gets home" (That last part added for Revvy's benefit.) Would the whole porch couch/code monkey thing enter into the picture?

Inquiring minds... you know?

PTN
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Mutilated1 said:
When my kids get out of school and move out on their own, I'm going to quit my job and buy a little pick-up truck and paint it like a racoon and be one of those pest removal specialists. Basically I will just operate a racoon rescue, so I will hunt and fish and drink beer and then when someone calls for me to come to their house and get rid of the racoons I will come and catch it and give it a rabies shot and a flea-dip and then let it go out in the woods somewhere. And the best part is, if business gets slow you can just let the racoons go in a different neighborhood or something and catch them again. I will charge like $100 to catch a racoon and that will cover my gas and beer money and I will have all the free racoons I want.

Thats what I'm going to do in a few years when I retire unless I win the Publisher's Clearing House first.
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best life long dream I have ever heard :D

I mean, how could life get better, you have all the raccoons you want?
 
Eeeek!!! I would like to point out that the above post is out of context! Drinking an extract brew is NOTHING like a cheap lay in the garbage disposal area! I was talking about the act of brewing said beverage.......Er, I'm not suggesting that brewing extract is like banging some cheap whore in a dumpster, if it were, I would do it more often....um, no!! What I meant was....was.....oh crap. :(
 
jpsloan said:
I look up on the OMG INTARWEBZ to see how to do it myself. The videos... they made it look so easy. So simple. A retarded monkey tripping balls on acid could do it.


I think I'll just crawl into a fetal position and squeeze my eyes shut until they leave, to go discuss what a complete screaming f#ckwhistle I am over drinks.

I think I just found the definition of Manhell.
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wow, just wow

all of these are in the same thread !
 
A deathbrewer two-fer

DeathBrewer said:
Rob Halford is my hero. I want to be just like him when I grow up and get big. Except the whole sex with guys thing. That's not really my gig.
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DeathBrewer said:
Yeah, I'm just making stuff up. I'll screw anything with less than 4 legs. That includes amputated sheep. If they'll have me.
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Uh HUH.....Yeah...We can read between the lines here! :D
 
Wise words from a wise man ...

Yuri_Rage said:
If you said water instead of liquor,
If you said water heater instead of hot liquor tank,
If you said rinse instead of sparge,
If you said hot soak instead of mash,
If you said all of the grain instead of grist,
If you said big pot instead of tun,
If you said dump the grain into the big pot instead of dough in,
If you said clearing instead of fining,
If you said recirculate instead of vorlauf,
If you said bottom crud instead of trub,
If you said top crud instead of krausen...

Then any old schmuck could figure out how to make his own beer!
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