SWMBO vs. Homebrew

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Cyan

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I know I'm not the only one out there with a SWMBO that thinks my homebrewing takes up too much time. Well, her bellydancing, shopping, talking on the phone, watching TV, etc. takes up even more time than my homebrewing does. How do you guys deal with (in a respectful way) your situation?
 
If you are brewing inside, and there is the possibility that she doesn't like the smell of malted barley and hops (impossible, right!?), then switch to brewing outside. Minimize any disturbances if at all possible.

...and when in doubt, buy a wine kit or something else alcoholic that she might like, and make that. 5G of wine goes a long way.

...and if that doesn't work, then build a brew-trailer or movable brewing system on the bed of a pickup truck so you can drive to somewhere secluded to brew in privacy:mug:
 
I find that concern is not because it's taking up too much time but rather they are afraid you'll turn into an alcoholic and have no time for them. They just don't want to come right out and say it.

I've caught hints of my GF leaning this way too. You just need to re-assure them it won't take over your life...as in Alcohol won't take over your life... not homebrewing.

Homebrewing has already taken over my life....alcohol won't. There's a difference.
 
I'm hearing that now.......I have only brewed 3 batches.....So I been grilling out when I'm brewing as well. I have some Ciders for her going so hopefully I'll be able to get things in check....Last night I told her well you have American Idol and I have my brewing..... Even right? She didn't answer.....
 
My wife is pretty understanding of my hobbies, I simply told here I could stop homebrewing and start drinking beers with my buddies at the strip club instead of hanging around the house homebrewing. Plus when I am mashing or boiling in the backyard I have enough time to pull a few weeds, refill the hummingbird feeder, trim the roses or putter in the garden. I keep myself busy with other little things I also enjoy doing during the down time. being productive around the house definately keeps the wife from pinging at me!
 
I feel for you guys who have less than agreeable wives. Can't a human being have a hobby? And it's one that benefits MANY people. So obviously your not selfish. Bellydancing, shopping, talking on the phone, watching TV, benefits no one.

Well, maybe the bellydancing.:D
 
I got my father in law into brewing... and now its a family bonding thing, so she tolerates it a little bit more. When I "need" a new piece of equipment I let him know what I need - he tells her mother and then she is ok with the idea.

And now I am getting a 2 tap kegerator for my birthday :)
 
I actually took up homebrewing to fill time. My fiance is a guitar player and a few times a week would disappear in his studio for hours playing. Perfect amount of time to brew! Really though, just make sure she has something to occupy her while you brew. Have her set up appts or shopping or whatever chicks like to do on a specific day.
 
Or just give it to her but good every time you brew. You have plenty of time after dough in, and after the boil starts. Tada, your both happy.
 
Mow the lawn while you mash and wash the dishes after adding your bittering hops. Surely there is something you can do during down time that will ease her concerns. I know the down times are intended for drinking homebrew, but we all must make concessions from time to time.
 
First of all, I wear the pants so whatever I say goes. I do not refer to her as an SWMBO as it's the other way around. She must obey me and that's how it's gonna be.

Most guys are not as lucky as I am as my broad is submissive and will do as she is told.
 
Mow the lawn while you mash and wash the dishes after adding your bittering hops. Surely there is something you can do during down time that will ease her concerns. I know the down times are intended for drinking homebrew, but we all must make concessions from time to time.

Wow, put down that rubber cement.
 
First of all, I wear the pants so whatever I say goes. I do not refer to her as an SWMBO as it's the other way around. She must obey me and that's how it's gonna be.

Most guys are not as lucky as I am as my broad is submissive and will do as she is told.

Same here, although i'm not a dick about it.;)
I have an outstanding old lady who let's me do as I please.
 
I'm not a dick about it either but if she acts up, she will be put in her place. Good thing is she rarely acts up.

It's just difficult hearing about all these guys who are so controlled by their old ladies around here. Just the fact that they call them SWMBO is difficult for me to comprehend. Sack up fellas and show them who is the man of the house.
 
I actually took up homebrewing to fill time. My fiance is a guitar player and a few times a week would disappear in his studio for hours playing. Perfect amount of time to brew! Really though, just make sure she has something to occupy her while you brew. Have her set up appts or shopping or whatever chicks like to do on a specific day.


thats actually a really good suggestion, but it assumes SWMBO has any interests that could occupy her (outside of perusing celeb blogs, and facebook stalking)
 
I'm not a dick about it either but if she acts up, she will be put in her place. Good thing is she rarely acts up.

It's just difficult hearing about all these guys who are so controlled by their old ladies around here. Just the fact that they call them SWMBO is difficult for me to comprehend. Sack up fellas and show them who is the man of the house.

While I appreciate your passion and spirit, it's hard to take anyway who uses the term "Sack up" very seriously!! :p
 
I use a variety of methods.

1) I'll do stuff she wants to do sometimes (like shopping) with resigned cheerfulness. No complaining, loud sighs or eye rolling allowed.

2) Learn to make all kinds of other stuff that she likes. I've mastered the no-knead bread technique. I picked up a used Atlas pasta machine for 3 bucks and make all kinds of fresh pasta on demand. Beer becomes just another one of the things you make yourself. She loves that stuff and can brag to her friends about it.

3) Search for a beer recipe that she likes. Every new batch I make, I have her try and tell me what she doesn't like about it. I've zeroed in on the combination that she likes and make sure there's always some on hand.
 
I do spend a fair amount of time doing brewing things, even if it's just reading up on it. My wife wishes I would put as much focus on the family as I do brewing. But honestly, I'm a good Dad and anyway, brewing is MUCH more interesting than the family.

Although I don't spend a lot of time doing it, I like to find new and tasty food to cook for the family. I rarely get marked down for that effort.

I do sometimes help the daughter do dishes, or whatever. around the house, especially if we are having company and we want to do more than a regular pick up and vacuum.

It would probably make her happier if I finished the trim in the living room, or tiled the kitchen walls, or any one of a dozen things that need to get finished around here...

Yeah, I should also learn to make good cider. That would please her (maybe) and still be kind of like brewing.
 
I'm really lucky in a few respects.

1 - Homebrewing was my hobby before we started dating. Now that we are engaged, its just something I do. Bottles everywhere, closets filled with brewing equip etc.

2 - She likes good beer (because of me). We pretty much have the exact same taste in beers too, except she doesn't like sours. I enjoy brewing wheats, wits IPAs and the occasional stout or porter. She really likes the ciders I brew too. Those are easy, and an instant pleaser.

3. She generally tries to be interested. We brew together, and although she doesn't really care for the technical aspects, she likes doughing in etc because the smell reminds her of her mom's bakery.

4 - she likes baking, and I like helping. Who wouldn't. I get a crap ton of awesome cookies, breads and all kinds of other stuff. I also find that if I keep my mouth shut and am not a pain in the ass while shopping, finding a Saturday to brew is a lot easier.
 
It's all about balance. Balance homebrewing with hobbies that you can enjoy together. Make her some cider or a beer that she'll enjoy. Put off a batch or two to get the tile job done, then do a double batch to make up.
 
I feel for you guys who have less than agreeable wives. Can't a human being have a hobby?

Yeah seriously. Why would anyone want to be attached to another human long term when they're so controlling? I'm blessed that I have a girlfriend who could care less about things I do or say, she just goes with the flow. It's not about control or "putting people in their place", it's about co-existing with one another.
 
I'm not a dick about it either but if she acts up, she will be put in her place. Good thing is she rarely acts up.

It's just difficult hearing about all these guys who are so controlled by their old ladies around here. Just the fact that they call them SWMBO is difficult for me to comprehend. Sack up fellas and show them who is the man of the house.

Most of us live in what we like to call reality....We don't live in Caves any longer so we live on equal ground with the other half...We do use SWMBO term but in most cases it's not literal. It's a 50/50 relationship. However we have been calling our other half similar slang terms since time began. Since your on one end of things with complete control I'm sure that some on here are on the opposite end and do truely mean SWMBO...

Just my two cents....
 
First of all, I wear the pants so whatever I say goes. I do not refer to her as an SWMBO as it's the other way around. She must obey me and that's how it's gonna be.

Most guys are not as lucky as I am as my broad is submissive and will do as she is told.

For some reason I just don't think this would be as fun as it sounds. Seems like one step away from just buying a realdoll and hiring a maid :)

My wife is ok with it as long as I don't drink up the fruits of my labor too quickly (aka get smashed). She only wants me to be healthy and happy.
 
My wife actually talks me into buying the stuff that I would like to have for my brewing hobby and encourages me to brew even-though she does not like to drink beer and does not really want anything to do with helping out when it comes time for me to brew.
She says as long as I am happy she is happy so I just leave it at that.
 
Would you prefer man up?

Absolutely! When I hear "Sack Up" I associate it with people I've know in the past who used that term. People who considered a pair of camo shorts appropriate attire for almost any occasion. Of course those shorts were never quite right unless they had that faded ring on the back pocket from an ever handy can of Copenhagen or Skoal! ;)
 
Yeah seriously. Why would anyone want to be attached to another human long term when they're so controlling? I'm blessed that I have a girlfriend who could care less about things I do or say, she just goes with the flow. It's not about control or "putting people in their place", it's about co-existing with one another.
Agree.


If your SWMBO doesn't want you doing things you like, why are you sticking around? It sounds like she has plenty of hobbies she does, why can't you have one?

Her needs/wants aren't more important than yours. Relationships are compromises, and that means both of you have to compromise.
 
Absolutely! When I hear "Sack Up" I associate it with people I've know in the past who used that term. People who considered a pair of camo shorts appropriate attire for almost any occasion. Of course those shorts were never quite right unless they had that faded ring on the back pocket from an ever handy can of Copenhagen or Skoal! ;)

Well then Man Up it is. I do not own camo shorts nor have I ever chewed tobacco.
 
The wife doesn't have a problem with my brewing, as long as i don't spend all of the money. She doesn't mind me drinking my face off either, as she loves beer too!
 
Lots of posts in a small time frame! Thanks -I like that!

Background: My wife and I are equally in control and make decisions with compromise. It's actually very simple! We have the greatest amount of love and respect for each other at all times, and we are truly meant to be together. We have two kids, a mortgage, college, full-time and part-time jobs, and lots of hobbies; therefore, time is limited. Homebrewing takes a lot of time, and we both understand that. We always make sure that things are fair for one another.

Summary and Analysis: Based on my opinions of the solutions, the summary and analysis will be divided into two sections: Bad and Good.

Bad Advice:
• Ignore her – Gila
• Divorce her – Johnny, wildwest
• Tell her that her hobbies benefit no one – wildwest
• Tell her that it’s OK that she’s not pretty because I’ll be drunk – Gila
• Become a stereotypical, primitive, thoughtless, selfish, abusive, insensitive, dominating, arrogant *******; yet, don’t be a dick about it…? - Irrenarzt, wildwest
• Don’t do chores during brewing down times - wildwest

Conclusion: What sad, pathetic lives you have. I hope you don’t wonder why you never get laid. Do the world a favor and kill yourselves. You have obviously have no idea what women go through and have never heard of treating people how you want to be treated. But, hey, at least you’re happy, right?! Ignorance is bliss… ;)

Good Advice:
• Brew out of the kitchen to minimize disturbances - nebben
• Make wine - nebben
• Let her know I will not become an alcoholic. My hobby is all about homebrew not alcohol. –mhermetz
• Grill up some grub while brewing - brewagentjay
• Do chores during brewing down times. – azscoob, hickorymike
• Family bonding (esp. HER family) – brewspook
• Help her occupy her time like I do with homebrew – mosquito
• Give it to her good every time I brew- wildwest
• Do stuff with her that she likes (like shopping), make food she likes, and make beer she likes riromero
• Cook tasty food, help with chores, make cider, and do the manly project around the house – homercidal
• Balance by making her beer and cider she likes and by skipping a batch to finish project and make up the batch later – bopper

Conclusion: You guys have provided me with very valuable insight. I’m glad to see guys treating ladies with the love they deserve. THANK YOU! :D


Jgln – I will post some great pics/videos soon, so stay tuned!
 
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