Which brew gods do you have to pay homage to for a smooth brew day???

So apparently I'm not doing something right. It seems that every time I brew, something happens that was totally unexpected that throws a wrench in things... to the point that it doesn't ruin the batch, but throws a wrench in things enough to make it a 'not so smooth' brew day.

Most of the time it's something like a leaky seal on a fitting, etc... this time, while in the middle of running the wort through the plate chiller, my well pump decided it didn't want to work anymore. After running around like a maniac for about two hours, I was able to get it fixed, and in the meantime I used my neighbor's water to finish the chill... so no real harm done... but come on!

Let me know I'm not alone here!

I make regular sacrifices of young cheese sandwiches to Trubdor, as he favors us bearded folk with clear beers devoid of off flavors.

I pay homage to Barlian, the barley god. I sprinkle a pinch of malt on the ground for him before I mash. Additionally, he was kind enough to bless me with a Mashcot, a Thermo-Scientific rubber duck. We call him Thermy, he helps to regular the mash temperature and ward off evil spirits.

By the way, I almost spit my beer out laughing at Trubdor. That tickled me pink!

I make sacrifices in the form of time and preparation to Murphy. For we all know his law!

How about just a prayer to the real one? Works for me.

cfrazier77 said:

How about just a prayer to the real one? Works for me.

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And which one would that be????

Loki is the only god who gives a crap about brewing.

cfrazier77 said:

How about just a prayer to the real one? Works for me.

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You mean Odin?

If you ever findd the right god to sacrafice to let us all know, there is no perfect brewday, something always inevitably goes wrong.

The only difference is whether it is a big thing or something trivial.

cfrazier77 said:

How about just a prayer to the real one? Works for me.

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You mean Osiris?

Dionysus

The experience and subsequent ability to address minor hiccups is what makes for a smooth brew day. In the world of multitasking mistakes are inevitable, how you respond is what matters.

NOW ON THE OTHER HAND, if I had peace and quiet to brew it'd be a different story.

If you do not have a beard you must grow one. Your baldfaced attempts at beer have offended the mighty brewgods.

As stated above, since I have shaved, I can never please them until I grow again. I have been smote with high mash temperatures caught late, stuck fermentation and poorly sealed primary buckets.

Just grow your beard and enjoy good beer.

You are probably looking for Ceres, goddess of both fertility and grains, like barley.
"Throughout the Roman era, Ceres' name was synonymous with grain and, by extension, with bread"
Wikipedia

Or wait until after the wort is in the fermenter before opening that home brew. Just sayin'.

wan2ride said:

If you do not have a beard you must grow one. Your baldfaced attempts at beer have offended the mighty brewgods.

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This is probably the source of my woes. Unfortunately, my occupation forbids any beard growth, and if I did grow one, it would be more like a Joe Dirt beard than anything... which might offend them more...

cfrazier77 said:

How about just a prayer to the real one? Works for me.

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I also accept cash.

St. Arnulf of Soissons
Patron Saint of Brewers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_of_Soissons

Brewing is science. Therefore I make calculations, not prayers.

Maybe I will pray when I'm surrounded by hordes of flesheating Nazi zombies or when the air runs out on my spacesuit but not when I'm brewing. It's not that dire of a situation... Unless the process of brewing attracts flesheating Nazi zombies...

ipe:

PhelanKA7 said:

Brewing is science. Therefore I make calculations, not prayers.

Maybe I will pray when I'm surrounded by hordes of flesheating Nazi zombies or when the air runs out on my spacesuit but not when I'm brewing. It's not that dire of a situation... Unless the process of brewing attracts flesheating Nazi zombies...

ipe:

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I don't know what kind of experience you have when you brew, but when I brew, it's friggin' magic. How else can you explain taking a bunch of cereal and vegetables, throw some festering bugs on it, and come out with delicious nectar of the gods?? Miracles, that's how.

Yellowirenut said:

St. Arnulf of Soissons
Patron Saint of Brewers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_of_Soissons

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That guy sounds awesome.

Since I have no goats or small children to sacrifice, I have to content myself with reciting a hymn to Ninkasi.

After I read the title, I immediately thought: myself

I was having a sub-par brew day on Sunday until I realized I wasn't drinking any of my own homebrew. I opened some up and the rest was smooth.

Also, if there's some kind of god of simplicity, pray to that one. I keep it as simple as possible. I do 5 gallon partial mash BIAB using my stove, oven, and don't think I could do it without less equipment

I have to say that I save my prayers for important stuff (not saying that beer isnt important) like falling off of 3 story buildings, check. Going through the woods backwards and and upside down at 95mph, check. Being on fire in the racecar @120 mph, check. I could go on but dont want to be a bore. While brewing I settle for cussing, stomping around a lot and finally getting drunk. Somehow I always end up with beer.

Dionysus of course...

DiscipleofDionysus said:

Dionysus of course...

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Love to converse with you, but I think we'd get this thread shut down pretty quick.

People don't like to hear the J man questioned...at least outside of the debate thread.

REDIRECT! This thread was totally not meant to stir the faith bucket - I was more hoping people might share their gripes and pains of brew days... maybe some awesomely disastrous brew days that ended up with against-all-odds... beer.

I don't think you pray to saints but I'm surprised no one has mentioned Gambrinus yet.

If I had to choose a beer god, I would go with Hanuman the monkey god because i like monkeys, they make me laugh.

PhelanKA7 said:

Brewing is science. Therefore I make calculations, not prayers.


ipe:

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There is some real wisdom here.... I brewed for 14 YEARS before I got to a place where I really felt like I could turn out very good beer, almost every time. That was 3 years ago. And, in the last 3 years, I think I improved my beer more than I did in the first 14. There is just no substitute for experience, routine, reading, learning, and brewing a ton of beer. There is no mistake that you have made that I did not make many times over. Patience... but not complacency. keep learning..... There are so many people on here, and other forums, clubs, etc. that can help add to your experience and help you take more and more steps to better brew days, and better beer. We have all had the days you speak of. Read, learn, ask questions..... apply.

I don't know about praying but certain rituals must be done to please the brewing gods.You need to make sure your beard is unkempt, and you must drink a pint of your last batch in honor of future brews.Too many pints only upsets the beer gods and your brew day will go horribly wrong.

cheezydemon3 said:

And which one would that be????

Loki is the only god who gives a crap about brewing.

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I am pretty sure Ninkasi might have something to say about that.

As an atheist, I'm thankful for 25+ years of brewing experience. Nothing like reality to get you through a brew day. Those of you that want to worship an ephemeral talisman go right ahead. I'll fall back on my experience and education...

Loki, patron saint of my brewery...Loki Brau.

Dougless said:

As an atheist, I'm thankful for 25+ years of brewing experience. Nothing like reality to get you through a brew day. Those of you that want to worship an ephemeral talisman go right ahead. I'll fall back on my experience and education...

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This thread is supposed to be funny, or an attempt at having a little fun.Dude, relax and don't take yourself so seriously....if your education and experience allows it of course.

brick_haus said:

I make sacrifices in the form of time and preparation to Murphy. For we all know his law!

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After 46 years of life, I'm pretty sure that I have Murphy blood in me, DESPITE what my parents said.....

I pay homage to an old wise man, myself. I'm finding brew day to be totally uneventful after countless batches.

alane1 said:

This thread is supposed to be funny, or an attempt at having a little fun.Dude, relax and don't take yourself so seriously....if your education and experience allows it of course.

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Um, DUDE.....he didn't start with the seriousness...

cfrazier77 said:

How about just a prayer to the real one? Works for me.

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Nothing against this guy, but here is exactly where it went from fun to "here's what you ought to believe"

And what exactly about your post was fun?

Dougless said:

As an atheist, I'm thankful for 25+ years of brewing experience. Nothing like reality to get you through a brew day. Those of you that want to worship an ephemeral talisman go right ahead. I'll fall back on my experience and education...

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With a response like this I think you may need a little more education.

mewithstewpid said:

With a response like this I think you may need a little more education.

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What?????

Because he actually thinks for himself, he needs more education?

You are funny.

Damn. It has gotten all Internet up in this thread now.