Great thread...
One of my favorites:
Truckstop Honeymoon, "No Beer On Sunday"
Well, I was walking on my way home from church
I stopped at the convenience store and asked the clerk
For a six-pack.
What'd she say, but
"Sorry, sir—no beer on Sunday."
I said, "What?"
She said, "You heard me."
I said, "Ma'am?"—that's what I said—have you a Bible? Have you read
Any chapter or any verse, or any other collection of words,
That allude—in any way—as to whether a man may not—or may—
Buy a beer on Sunday?"
She said, "Sir, that's the law."
I said, "The law of man or the law of God?"
She said, "I'm just trying to do my job."
I said, "Well, there's a command you may have heard: "On the Sabbath thou shalt do no work."
She said, "Sir, you have to leave."
I said, "Ain't you a Christian? Don't you believe
That Jesus turned water into wine? And he would stand behind me in this line?
He might have a thing or two to say about all this `No Beer On Sunday'."
(That's when she called Security.)
Now most politely I addressed the guard,
I said, "The Lord gave us wine to gladden our hearts,
And you may have read—and you should again—what Ezekiel said of the virtues of grain,
So explain to me, and please make clear, why a Christian may not buy a beer
On Sunday.
(That's when he showed me the door.)
So next Sunday I was praying in church
I said, "Lord, let me know you by your works,
Give me a sign of your great power:
Let a man buy a beer any day or any hour."
There was a clap a thunder, a bolt of light,
The Lord appeared, all dressed in white!
Cracked open a can of natural light and said,
"Son, some things don't change overnight.
Some things take a little time.
In the meantime:
Here.
Have one of mine."
Quite funny.
