The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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You going to deep-fry your turkey, or do you only do that when cooking a whole pig?

(yawn)

playyyyyyed out.

And this year's was killah so keep going wit' day weak azz sht.


I got five ducks goin' in the pit in the morning. Having them as an appetizer before the big bird.

(Bird... joking aside... def go with that brine that AB uses in that smoked turkey recipe. I have been using it for a couple of years. It's solid)
 
Using this one:

1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1 1/2 teaspoons allspice berries
1 1/2 teaspoons chopped candied ginger
1 gallon heavily iced water

Probably won't bother with the candied ginger, I can't imagine that flavor would come through at all and if I buy candied ginger I'm going to eat it.

Thinking ~24 hours in the brine should be good.

It's only six of us for Thanksgiving, so I'm not going too crazy.
 
Ah. Thanks AZ. I'm no mead expert but how much aroma does honey add to a mead?

A lot. Smell store bought clover honey and then quality wild flower or orange blossom honey. That aroma transfers over to the finished beverage but is lost or muted through boiling or a vigorous yeast like EC-1118.
 
Oh Snap!


2011 Mazer Cups

mazers2011.jpg
 
I've been using AB's brine for years too but I cut the ginger to half of what's asked for. I hate ginger.
 
Cape Brewing said:
I was simply saying there is no reason to wait until fermentation is over since it will simply spike right back up again.

Apologies if that was too technical for you.

That's cause he's a pro brewer. Supposedly. Ok maybe not just yet....
 
Happy Thanksgiving, all. Let me re-phrase that, in true Masshole talk. Hope all your birds suck!!!!! That's not true, but I had to say it. I"m down in FL with the in-laws family, or at least part of it. The true rednecks from Southern AL couldn't make it (really bums us out......) but I'm still down here with some former Mississippi -ers. They're still pissed off about losing the "War of Northern Aggression". I'm not sure if I'm going to be eating turkey, or being considered a northern turkey, with risk of getting shot down here. Gotta love the south (No you don't, and I never will).

Anyway, in getting ready to spend the day with "family", if you don't start drinking by 9AM, you can't brag about drinking all day. So I and the SWMBO had to get up early, and get to the Friendly Bar, in Indian Rocks, FL, just south of Clearwater Beach, for the $1.50 Bloody Mary's.

Ran into a bunch of Massholes, and had a great time swilling BM's and beers over breakfast, with everyone byaching about family on Thanksgiving!

Who doesn't have a dysfunctional family? This could be the national holiday for this thread! Happy Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole Thanksgiving everyone - may all your families suck more than mine (but good luck with that!) Mort

Plus, WTF just happened with the ref's giving up a free touchdown to Houston 'cause they didn't see the knee on the ground? Of course Detroits coach is going to through the red flag! Are the subs back in today, working the holiday? Doesn't look well for the Pat's game, if that's the case, cause we all know NY Jets games are rigged............
 
Yikes is right! Just saw the story - a 45' catamaran glass bottom sight seeing and snorkeling boat hit by a rogue wave.

then just heard about a 100 car pile up in SE Texas that killed four or more due to fog in Texas.

Rogue waves. Rare fog in Texas. Sounds like the Mayan Appocolypse (or however you spell that) is happening earlier than planned!!
 
Hey PTN.
I just sent you an email. Sorry about last night - flying home to Logan from Orlando via Chicago really sucked and kicked our butts (thanks United, for all the last minute changes). And being on a full plane from Orlando full of screaming kids - what's the incubation period for germs passed on by snott-nosed, spoiled brats wearing mouse-ears? I ought to be sniffling in another two days. Flying gets harder and harder every year. The last plane we were on was so old even the recyclers wouldn't take it.
 
Meh.

Need to figure out how to keep my wife from crashing her car. Nothing bad, she just hit a guardrail last night on her way back over the mountain, ****ed up the bumperskin. But, every year she gets into a little accident that's not exactly her fault, but not exactly *not* her fault, either. Just driving a little too fast for the conditions, or whathaveyou. Always seems to be this same time of year. Took out a bread truck last year when she was driving too fast through icy/slushy conditions and didn't have her snow tires on yet. Last night, she had JUST gotten the snows on, she calls me at 9:00-ish to say she was coming home, I told her "don't do anything stupid, take your time coming home"... she gets home, comes upstairs and says "I don't THINK I did anything stupid..."

It's like five accidents - none serious, although I think her car was "totaled" twice - in the past ten years.

And then she gets mad at me because I don't ask her how she is before I grab the headlight to survey the damage. "I *KNOW* you're alright, you're right here!"

At least I didn't call her "Crash," like I did after the bread-truck incident.

Aigh. Now, I've got to drive the ghetto-looking car for the rest of the winter, because I don't trust that she won't crash it again. And, she'll drive my AWD vehicle over the mountain - WHICH I OFFERED TO HER YESTERDAY, but she declined.
 
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