I am an idiot

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Idiots all of you. I'm at the right place.

Talked to an old time brewer today. He said crocks are good for dryhopping and gators are best for first wort hops. He mentioned rabbits and hampsters as aroma hops only and strongly suggested against black widow spiders as yeast nutrient, he did however state brown recluses would add some destructive (he said this with a loving heart) spicy bitterness when added in the last minute of the boil.

Interesting thread. For my next brew I'll be adding elephant gonads that will have been poache at 126 degrees celcius in my subterranian mash tun.

It is claimed that this will add a gopher ass tinge and smoky barouqe flavor to hearty ales.
 
First of all Dan, you are in the rigth place, considering that your brewer never mentioned turtles and that you double post... yes we can consider you an idiot. The elephant gonads sounds disguntly interesting. Agreed on everything else about crocs gators but I am deeply shocked that turtles were not mentioned after all they did for us.
 
Dan said:
It is claimed that this will add a gopher ass tinge and smoky barouqe flavor to hearty ales.

Where were you before I brewed my idiotic black IPA? I think that's just the flavor it needs!
 
Idiots all of you. I'm at the right place.

Talked to an old time brewer today. He said crocks are good for dryhopping and gators are best for first wort hops. He mentioned rabbits and hampsters as aroma hops only and strongly suggested against black widow spiders as yeast nutrient, he did however state brown recluses would add some destructive (he said this with a loving heart) spicy bitterness when added in the last minute of the boil.

Interesting thread. For my next brew I'll be adding elephant gonads that will have been poache at 126 degrees in my subterranian mash tun. It is claimed that this will add a gopher ass tinge and smoky barouqe flavor to hearty ales.

Wives tales.....:rolleyes:

Science has proven that gators release virtually no flavor at 60 or even 90 minutes as all of the flavor boils off and gators are surprisingly not bitter.

subterranian eh? That's original!

Still no word from the national Geographic crew that got lost in mine........
 
I have never brewed beer, but I would think that all of this is academic if you fail to properly sanitize your equiptment. Starsan isnt necessary since moose urine is sterile.
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Starsan isnt necessary since moose urine is sterile.

I still prefer to boil it for a few hours. A nice long boil will caramelize and concentrate all that gamey, musty goodness that makes moose urine such an outstanding ingredient in beer. Then I just drink Starsan shots mixed with turtle brains at mash out.
 
I have never brewed beer, but I would think that all of this is academic if you fail to properly sanitize your equiptment. Starsan isnt necessary since moose urine is sterile.

.......never.....brewed.........wait, what?

I had my moose snipped, so now he is sterile too. Very versatile!

I'm sure they will float to the surface eventually.

On a side note.. there is something odd and unsettling about your avatar....

Yeah, they were in a boat. Not sure what happened there.

On a side note: Seen ugly americans? You are missing out on some GOOD nonsensical humor there!! Twayne is a demon and demons impale their mates on the "bone" while copulating. Sheer awesomeness. The "bone" grows out of his chest unbidden when he senses a female demon "in heat".;)
 
Little PSA for you, Old potatos=Botulism as found out by some prisoners at the Utah State prison.

http://www.correctionsone.com/corre...-Old-potato-behind-Utah-prison-brew-botulism/

Maybe that's what happened to your NatGeo crew

........I thought you promised not to use your second sight until the were-pig hunt? WTF dude.

Well, at the time I saw nothing odd, but now that you have crossed dimensions, they did ask for all of the leftover potatoes from our planning dinner......

They were supposed to take NO potential contaminants in there!!!! They were all manually sanitized (that was fun) and gives a dunk in No rinse before going into the air lock......to knowingly take potatos......I am gonna sue.
 
........I thought you promised not to use your second sight until the were-pig hunt? WTF dude.

Well, at the time I saw nothing odd, but now that you have crossed dimensions, they did ask for all of the leftover potatoes from our planning dinner......

They were supposed to take NO potential contaminants in there!!!! They were all manually sanitized (that was fun) and gives a dunk in No rinse before going into the air lock......to knowingly take potatos......I am gonna sue.

I have a law degree from FuqU Online School of Litigation. I'll be happy to represent you for a nominal fee. I'll only take 33% should you win the case. I can print out my credentials on this napkin if you want to see them.
 
First brew in my sig

I drive to Modesto 3-4 times a year. I could stop by Turlock.... :rockin:

BTW, at our last craft beerfest, I spoke for a while to a fellow from Turlock who was interested in organizing something similar in Turlock. He mentioned some lake that he thought would be a good spot. Don't know if that was because of the turtles or what....
 
I drive to Modesto 3-4 times a year. I could stop by Turlock.... :rockin:

BTW, at our last craft beerfest, I spoke for a while to a fellow from Turlock who was interested in organizing something similar in Turlock. He mentioned some lake that he thought would be a good spot. Don't know if that was because of the turtles or what....

Well, we do have a storm water treatment pond in one of the downtown parks. It's hard to tell through the murk, but I know for sure there are carp in there as there are usually several dead and bloated on the shore. Turtles love dead bloated carp, so I'm sure that's where he meant.
 
Hamsterbite said:
Yeah, but anything could happen between now and then. Don't count your turtles before they isomerize.

Another one down.
 
Is my beer ruined?!?!?!?
So Sunday I brewed a batch of beer. After it cooled, I threw some yeast in it and the next day there was all this bubbly foam on top and bubbles coming from the blow off tube. I don't know what happened but I'm not sure it's normal. Has anyone ever seen a thick layer of foam on top of their fermenting beer? By the way, I never read anything about brewing and am relying just on other people to tell me what to do as I lack the initiative to actually read about a hobby I'm looking to get into. Any help? Here's a picture of what my beer looks like.

image-1193157528.jpg

What is that stuff?!?!? Is it ruined? It looks ruined! I hope it's not ruined!! But it looks ruined!!!!!
 
Hamsterbite said:
Were the hamsters eating beans, cabbage or brocolli prior to pitching?

They were eating pitch prior to cabbaging.
 
Took a tour of the Budweiser brewery. Here's a picture of their whole brewing process. It's really quite simple.

image-163105885.jpg
 
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