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Teh temptayshun of Jebus Christz

1 So Jebus taiked hisself 2 teh desert to hang with teh Basement Cat, so Basement Cat cud tri to pwn him2 N he et no cheezburgrz or cookies, even, fr 40 dayz n nites, srsly!3 Den Basement Cat wuz der and sed “O hai if ur teh Ceiling Cat’s bebbeh, makes cheezburgrz outta da rocks kthx.”

4 t Jebus sed “Cheezburgrz am not da best, Ceiling Cat’s wurdz am best,” even tho he rly laikd cheezburgrz, laik, srsly.

5 Basement Cat wuz nt pwned, an tuk Jebus 2 teh tmple ruf.6 sed, “if ur teh Ceiling Cat’s bebbeh, jump off and birdcats will cach u n make u all cumfy n stuff, kthx.”

7 Jebus sed it wuz not cool 2 try 2 pwn Ceiling Cat.

8 Basement Cat tuk Jebus in ur mountain, sittin on ur summit, n showed Jebus all teh orsumness of teh wrld, srsly.9 N sed, “All da base r belong 2 u if u am mai BFF, kthx.”

10 But Jebus sed, “STFU Basement Cat, R U DUM? Ceiling Cat am mai BFF cuz he am teh 1337!”

11 Den Basement Cat wuz pwnd, n birdcats cam frm Ceiling Cat an gave Jebus all teh cheezburgrz an cookiez an brushded his fir.

Freaking awesome.
 
10 commandments
Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds:

2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all


3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.


4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur kittens ded An if yur kittenz have kittenz, dey be ded too, for being stupid.6 If not I wuv u An all ur lotz uf kittenz!


7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, cuz I dun liek it. Srsly.


8 Remembur caturday An keep holy.9 U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K?10 Caturday, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. And, if yu beez gudd, I maks it so yu can stays home and do alla stuffs yu wanted tu doos.11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no werk.


12 Bez u good to papa An mama so u has long lief.


13 U no maek peepz ded! Srsly!


14 U no maek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than ur wief (so no awsum treesum alowed!).


15 U no taek stuffs for free if not getz for free.


16 U no tell bad stuff about ur neibor.


17 U no wantz neibor stuff! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no abimalz, NO BUKKITZ! DEY NOT UR BUKKITZ, K? dey da LOLrus' bukkits.
 
Hilarious!

1 K so Saul iz teh dedd. An David iz leik totaly pwning teh Amalekites, an den he comz bak an stayz too dayz in Ziklag.2 An itz day tree, an ZOMG!!1! iz nekkid gai comin from Sauls camp. Allmos nekkid, cloze all tore n stuf. He can has dirt on his hedz, why he do dat? An he fallz down in front of David, an is leik, "David u r full of win!!1!1! an awsum!1!"3 An David is leik, "WTF??!? Wher u com from, d00d??" An he sez, I totaly ecskaped from teh Israel camp lolz.
 
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