My first brew is ruined!!

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timduncan200021

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So earlier tonight I had a splitting migraine that i sometimes get and crashed out super early, like 6 pm. Well... I guess my wife sent the kids up to our bathroom to take a shower, something that they do with no problem regularly, and yesterday I had just placed my lbk in a ice water bath to cold crash it because I planned to transfer to bottles on Friday. I have gone two weeks patiently waiting, with growing anticipation of the first brew.

Needless to say I just woke up from my early slumber right now at midnight and i find toilet paper strewn around our entire bathroom as if a group of teenagers had gotten in an TP'd our bathroom and my cooler lid halfway off. I open it up and the lid is off my lbk, there is pieces of ice floating in there as well as pieces of toilet paper and looks like someone spit in there.

IMAGINE my anger...my kids are 5 and 6 and know better but I think because dad was incapacitated they had a free run at shower time because SWMBO had a friend over downstairs.

So tomorrow morning I will be tossing it out, speaking to my children so that this doesn't happen again and attempting to guilt SWMBO into letting me move up to the 5 gallon setup that I have had my eye on : )

Has something similar ever happened to you guys?
 
So earlier tonight I had a splitting migraine that i sometimes get and crashed out super early, like 6 pm. Well... I guess my wife sent the kids up to our bathroom to take a shower, something that they do with no problem regularly, and yesterday I had just placed my lbk in a ice water bath to cold crash it because I planned to transfer to bottles on Friday. I have gone two weeks patiently waiting, with growing anticipation of the first brew.

Needless to say I just woke up from my early slumber right now at midnight and i find toilet paper strewn around our entire bathroom as if a group of teenagers had gotten in an TP'd our bathroom and my cooler lid halfway off. I open it up and the lid is off my lbk, there is pieces of ice floating in there as well as pieces of toilet paper and looks like someone spit in there.

IMAGINE my anger...my kids are 5 and 6 and know better but I think because dad was incapacitated they had a free run at shower time because SWMBO had a friend over downstairs.

So tomorrow morning I will be tossing it out, speaking to my children so that this doesn't happen again and attempting to guilt SWMBO into letting me move up to the 5 gallon setup that I have had my eye on : )

Has something similar ever happened to you guys?

Has this ever happened? Lol! I have never had someone TP my bathroom, spit in my beer, and throw ice cubes in my beer.
 
Lol with my limited brewing knowledge I would say its probably not good any more. Toilet paper ice and spit... Maybe I just created a new style! Ill bottle it and call it "little demon spit". It's just crazy that for my first brew I read everything, started out pretty simple, didn't really make any newbie mistakes, was waiting patiently, and after all that its not a newbie brewing mistake that ruins my first brew but my kids. Well maybe that constitutes a newbie mistake on my part, it definitely won't happen again.
 
Lol with my limited brewing knowledge I would say its probably not good any more. Toilet paper ice and spit... Maybe I just created a new style! Ill bottle it and call it "little demon spit". It's just crazy that for my first brew I read everything, started out pretty simple, didn't really make any newbie mistakes, was waiting patiently, and after all that its not a newbie brewing mistake that ruins my first brew but my kids. Well maybe that constitutes a newbie mistake on my part, it definitely won't happen again.

I would say thats a newbie brewing/parenting mistake. Kids always get into things, and seeing as cold crashing isn't a necessary step....
Maybe next time you try to cold crash you will use a fridge or if you have a cold garage that may just be a better option. Good luck on brew #2
 
As a father of a five and one year old I can completely understand. Thankfully my wife is much more attentive to my brewing than even I am at times. Even then my stir plate will be started up randomly when the yeast should be floccing. Get out there and make a fresh batch.
 
If there is toilet paper in the bucket I wonder what else is in there :D Could be a bit of brown at the bottom of the brew or even a matchbox car or two.
 
Make them sit still in a chair and observe your next brew day so they can see how much work it is. They will squirm for hours... and never touch your buckets again. :rockin:
 
Make them sit still in a chair and observe your next brew day so they can see how much work it is. They will squirm for hours... and never touch your buckets again. :rockin:

I like this idea. The punishment fits the crime.
I got a 5 yr old at home too. I cant imagine how pissed I would be, both at the kid and SWMBO for letting it happen. Then again, as all parents know, good kids do dumb sh*t all the time. Its part of the "joy of parenthood" :smack:
 
Drink it, if you have two kids you've probably dealt with grosser stuff than that. :D

(What's an lbk?)
 
Did you pitch yeast? If not, strain it, bring to a boil and continue on. When it's done make the kids drink the whole batch.

Disclaimer: I don't have kids
 
snaps10 said:
Strain out the tp and drink that stuff. I bet it's fine! It takes a lot to ruin beer.

LMAO... What a great story. Now, like we said...rack under the spit toilet paper and matchbox cars and bottle that! It's beer for gods sake. Don't waste it! Lol

The alcohol probably ....(probably) killed anything bad so I would bottle it and proceed as if nothing happened. After all, as a parent you will endure all of what you said again..
 
Just remind yourself that at 5 and 6 years old, they have the capacity to understand that this behavior is not allowed, but have not yet developed the impulse control and foresight to let that stop them. (Not saying not to be angry and not to impose punishment, but it's very different than if a 15 year old had done the same thing.)

I make a rule to keep all my fermentors out of sight and out of areas where the kids are allowed to play. They're not locked up, but they aren't staring out, tempting the kids to throw things in....

(Obviously your situation was different, as it doesn't sound like you planned ahead to leave it out.)
 
Sorry for your situation. I'd be furious. If it's any consolation, your story reminded me yet again that my wife and I made the right call in choosing not to have any kids.
 
+1 for not pitching it. Might as well try. It takes a lot to ruin beer, and worst case you're just out a few bottle caps.

Example: My dog decided to stick his face/tongue in my bottling bucket in the midst of bottle; apparently it smelled/tasted good. Bottled it anyways and it came out fine. What's a little dog/kid spit between friends? :D
 
SiriusStarr said:
+1 for not pitching it. Might as well try. It takes a lot to ruin beer, and worst case you're just out a few bottle caps.

Example: My dog decided to stick his face/tongue in my bottling bucket in the midst of bottle; apparently it smelled/tasted good. Bottled it anyways and it came out fine. What's a little dog/kid spit between friends? :D

Lol.. My daughters dog loves beer!!
 
Ive heard of flys kids toys and mud in the boil kettle
Ive also heard of sweat armpits and complete arms into the fermentor.

Toilet paper and ice (virtually water) and spit (amalyse a) would prob do no harm at all!
Call it Wiggle and spit!
 
Rack, bottle and age till they are old enough to drink offering to supply the party with beer...
 
It may not have even been spit? It could have been the yeast. I'd just take out the TP, and bottle it. Screw it. It's hard to ruin beer.
 
So I didn't throw it out today. Instead I sanitized a ladle and scooped out anything that didn't look right. It actually looks ok now... I'll bottle tomorrow and move on to my next brew which will be a 5 gallon batch of a golden monkey clone (Belgian tripel). Just too bad I will always wonder if this beer is supposed to taste the way it's going to or if it could have been better unmolested. As far as the kids go SWMBO said not to say anything to them and that she was going to "handle" it. I guess it's better off that way...

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It makes sense now lbk = little brown keg?
Anyway bottle and then tip the trub on them :D Yeah 5/6 is that annoying age when you feel they really should know better, they probably do know better but they will still do it anyway... and then know that they shouldn't have and therefore try to hid it! Thankfully none of mine have tried to open fermenters yet, but now I have a chest freezer to ferment in it is one more barrier in their path of destruction :D
 
Just too bad I will always wonder if this beer is supposed to taste the way it's going to or if it could have been better unmolested.

I say: Try not to wonder that. It WILL taste the way it was "supposed" to. You, your kids, and your beer have been on a journey that ends up in the bottle. Especially if it tastes good. How often can someone say they are enjoying a beer that had their kids toilet paper in it? Haha! :rockin:

Good luck! I think you are making the right decision.

Cheers :mug: to the Charmin Extra Soft Brew!
 
Just wait, it will be the best batch you'll ever brew, but you'll never be able to replicate it. :D

I have a batch like that in the bottle.. I THINK It will be great.. Even though I have tried to screw it up 100 different ways (my first batch).

Does look like nothing more than yeastys..

I have to ask.. forgive me if I missed this in the thread somewhere..

WHY was it in the bathroom..?
 
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