The stupidest comment on your beer

Him: "hmmm this beer is thicker than I like" *turns to sink and pours a bunch of water in the beer.
Me: "Gah!"

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Followed by
You- *stab*
Him- Mybad

One of my BMC buddies said; "I don't like all those ales, and lagers, and stuff..."

I was brewing with my FIL this past Sunday. We were doing and Irish red. Keep in mind he is a devouted Miller Lite fan and he kept commenting on how dark it was looking. When I put it into the fermenter and topped it up to 5 gallons he said "its still sooo dark, maybe you should add another couple of gallons of water." I just shook my head and said "no its just fine."

This is more of an ignorant action than a stupid comment, but...

Several years ago I gave out some newly-bottled Ales to some friends. I explained how they were new and should be stored somewhere for several weeks and then refrigerated before drinking. Instead of listening to these instructions however, one friend decided he was thirsty right then and proceeded to crack open the warm homebrew right there.

Me: Don't do that!
Him: ...

He tilted the bottle up to the sky like it was MGD and then proceeded to cuss at me when he got an entire face and body wash with frothing suds. Since it wasn't MY carpet that got trashed with beer, I found this extremely amusing. The really funny thing is, about a month later he did exactly the same thing with someone else's bottle. *sigh*.

My neighbor, who is a Korea veteran, does not hardly drink, literally maybe 1 beer in about 10 years. Anyways he's always around my shop wehn I am brewing, and one day decided to try some. His remark.........it needs some salt.

WTF???

olllllo said:

Them: "I don't like beer but I like your beer."
Me: "Thanks!"
In my head: "WTF? Then you like beer, genius."

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I find this funny as this is why Im going into AG. My daughters friend makes VERY GOOD AG bear and I really never liked beer all that much until I drank about 14 different styles of his about 2 months ago and was amazed how much I actually LIKE beer, just not the piss that is sold over the counter. I think I have him making wine though after he had some of mine in which he really didnt like wine so it was an interesting day.

I got the comment last week upon letting a friend taste my nut brown ale. "This is hopper than the first batch." First batch wsa an American Pale dry hopped with an ounce of cascade. I started to say "No..." aw nevermind.

I know the people who have tried my first batch all said, wow This is really good. But I wish someone would give me an honest opinion. I even took a bottle of my newly bottled Brown ale at the time. Probably bottled 3 days. Poured a small sample for all and told them it's comparable to a Newcastle.
Them:"This is pretty good"!!
ME: "NO IT"S NOT!"
It tastes like granny smith apples. Give me an honest opinion

One of the guys there though is planning on starting brewing though so it will be cool. He is a nature boy and his comment was, I'm gonna be purist and just do All Grain. I'm like Thats great. But You should REALLY do at least one extract batch first. Ease into the confusion. I turned him onto this site. Dunno if he joined or is just lurking.

IrregularPulse said:

Them:"This is pretty good"!!
ME: "NO IT"S NOT!"
It tastes like granny smith apples. Give me an honest opinion

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You got some Bud drinkers in that crowd, do ya?


TL

IrregularPulse said:

I know the people who have tried my first batch all said, wow This is really good. But I wish someone would give me an honest opinion. I even took a bottle of my newly bottled Brown ale at the time. Probably bottled 3 days. Poured a small sample for all and told them it's comparable to a Newcastle.
Them:"This is pretty good"!!
ME: "NO IT"S NOT!"
It tastes like granny smith apples. Give me an honest opinion

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Well in all actuality, they may not be able to notice it as a defect. It merely tastes 'good' to them, not in the sense that you are critiquing the brew based on your own rigid analysis.

I mentioned to that the green apple flavor they're tasting is from it being very young. Maybe they thought it was a green apple brown ale...? I guess I wouldn't have known why the taste was there before this forum.

A buddy of mine is welding a brew stand for me and needed someone with more experience to complete some harder welds so he said tomorrow I'm going to have Bud finish this up for you. Great I say...

I know Bud, he is an older retired gentleman. Probably 70+.
Very experienced welder and retired pilot. He's seen the world I'm sure.

Well, I go out to my buddies and I plan on being there most of the day, so i bring a keg of a basic Pale Ale. I suppose similar to an SNPA clone, but just a basic Pale Ale.

About an hour of so into working and welding, I go grab a glass and pour Bud a pint and bring it inside and offer it to him. "Oh wow, a homebrew. Thanks..." He takes a big sip, a smile comes over his face. "Well, that certainly is better than any Budweiser I've ever had. Quite tasty."

I know this is a "worst thing said about you beer" thread, but i had to share that.

Made my day.

I gave a sample of IPA (he didn't the whole thing) to a really old dude at a social event one time. He has German ancestry and is always saying random words in German or with a bad German accent. He swished the IPA around in his mouth a bit and says "Mmmm, lots of flavor. Must be some kind of lager."

Resurrecting this classic thread in time for the holidays...for all you contemplating bring any beer to your family this season...Be sure to remember this thread and add any "interesting" remarks here.

planning on taking my first try to a christmas eve party

a Hefe Weizen

gonna haul a 12 pack and let em try it

will add any comments here

when i made my very first batch

me: "I made my first batch we can try it in about 3 weeks."

swmbo "I dont think i am gonna try any of your first batch i dont want botulism"

me: "so if i don't die you'll try it"

I'm bringing a few mixed 6ers up to my hometown this christmas, we'll see what the comments are. I'm bringing a scottish, a bitter, my spiced red, and a few assorted meads/ciders/wines.

Nearly everyone has been complimentary of my brews because I quiz them first to see what they like and then point them to the right kegs. Quite surprisingly my most popular tap is my Belgian Pale Ale (DeKoninck clone). Almost ALL of the light beer crowd goes nuts after they try that.

The most bizarre comment was on a dark ale: "This tastes yeasty. I don't like yeasty tasting beers". I think she meant malty. Later that night she was quite on my cream ale so it's all good...

SWMBO: "You should really try making a beer with NO hops..."

HWMBO's dad's friend was over at their cabin hanging out and I offered him a glass of EdWort's Haus Pale Ale. He declined, stating "Looks too much like Budweiser." He liked my porter made with ringwood ale yeast though.

I had a good comment from an older Jamaican that I worked with, when I gave him a bottle of my first attempt at a stout. After trying it, he said, "That reminds me of Dragon Stout, mon ! I miss Dragon Stout !" The next day, I brought him my three of my last six 22 oz.'ers.

On the other hand, another guy I worked with, in the same shop, tried a couple of my first few attempts, and told me, "That really tastes like beer !"
I asked him, "What in the hell did you EXPECT them to taste like ?"
"I don't know, but I didn't think you good make beer that good at home !"

My BIL: So, how much does it cost you to make this?
Me: About $35 for 2 1/2 cases(it was a porter extract)
My BIL: I can get almost 3 30 packs of Natural Lite for that!!!

I just stared at him blankly for a minute, then I took the glass out of his hand and drank it myself. I have never offered him another of my homebrews.

mrfocus said:

It depends. I'm guessing that freeze distillation was more common, and that type does not remove bad alcohols (methanol and fusel alcohols).

Using fractional distillation you can get rid of all six of them (sources: Methanol - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Fusel alcohol - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia). Although freeze distillation would dangerously concentrate all of these (ESPECIALLY methanol) as they all freeze between -36 and -97 C.

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First of all... Nevermind...im done... i swere...

Top ten funniest things ever said to me about my home brew

10: You can make your own achohal?

9: this is kinda like Bud Right? (refering to a hard cider)

8: This Sh*t gets you ****ed up. Wow....

7: Homebrew can make you really sick, it cantains lots of batceria because you brew it in buckets and stuff (This was my mother when i made my frist batch at 15)

6: Hey man can i get some of that achohalic Sh*t you make in your garage (idiot trying to get me to give him hard cider when underage, note: i was 17)

** the top five are my favorite **

5: (my roomate) its great that you can put yeast in sh*t and get achohal

4: Every time i drink homebrew i get sick, and its only home brew, not just yours, but anyones... I think im allergic... Do you have any miler? (She was about 5 feet tall and extreamly pretty, and after she said this i burst out lughing and began to roll on the ground in front of roughly 30 people I eventully asked her out... that didnt go well)

3: Stupid Person 1: Can I make some of this myself?

Stupid Person 2: No, he's special only certin people can brew its like magic or somthing.

Me: (laughing holding onto my stomic)

Stupid Person 2: What? you mean its not magic? Cause i was serious, So he could make it too? Wow. Can he really brew too?

(note both these people were completely sober, i however was not)

2: (the second funnist thing of all time) I have had hard cider before, its like Budwiser with apple juice mixed in, and thats how you make it. Sh*t 5 gallons of Bud would be expensive... and five gallons of Apple Cider would be expensive too. But when your done you've got 5 gallons of hard cider (it is obvious this person had no concept of fluid volume displacement)

1: (and my number one all time favortie and most often recieved, from even educated people who i am sure have brains in there heads)

"Hey this stuff has apples in it." (when refering to Hard apple cider)

Cheers

Not a lot of stupid things said about my beer, but have had some good ones about real beer in general.

One of my favorites, which happens ALL the time at many brewpubs and micro-breweries:

Server: Can I help you find anthing?
Me: I'm looking for something dark, like a nut brown ale or a porter
Server: Well we have an amber ale, thats pretty dark.

Seriously, this happens alot. YOU WORK AT A BUSINESS THATS ALL ABOUT BEER AND THAT IS YOUR "DARK" BEER

eh, i haven't really gotten anything stupid. just a lot of "wow, this is good". but the only thing i've given out so far is a raspberry wheat, and if there is a homebrew to appeal to the lowest common denominator, that is it.

we'll see what happens when i hand out my christmas porter, or the bitter and angry ale...

i'm looking foward to hearing all the fun stuff you guys have!

My first batch, which is actually one of my best, was offered to a friend. He's never had a homebrew before and he said, "Yup, tastes like homebrew." WTF?

Then I was over at this same guy's house and his roommate grabbed one of my milds. He was drinking and said that he really liked it. Then he asked me if I'm sure it wasn't a stout. I said I was pretty sure.

My friends aren't exactly beer connoisseurs but drink SA, Sierra Nevada or DFH every once in a while. So I don't usually get many comments that make me roll my eyes but there are a few random people who say things like..

"Homebrewing is only good if you like dark beer"

Them: "Ugh how can you drink that?" (referring to dry stout)
Me: "Huh? What? What's wrong with it?"
Them: "It's so heavy and thick"
Me "Have you tried it?"
Them: "..Well no..."
Me "Just because it's dark doesn't mean its bitter, thick, heavy, syrupy, boozy, takes longer to brew, etc, etc"

Most people are just amazed you can brew beer in your home and that I actually do it.

My wife, regarding a Hacker-Pschorr Edelhell:
Her: Mmm, too bitter.
Me: Er, you mean malty, right? Like sweet?
Her: No, bitter.

My wife, regarding a homebrew sour mash porter:
Her: Mmm, too bitter.
Me: Er, sour maybe?
Her: No, bitter.

My friend, regarding same porter:
Him: Tastes like Yuengling.

Same friend, regarding a weak-n-watery American wheat I made for the fearful:
Him: Tastes like Yuengling.

Same friend, when told it was homebrewed:
Him: Yeah, right. [slyly] How was it fermented?
Me: In a bucket in my basement.
Him: Yeah, right.

Other random assorted beer/homebrew comments I've heard that amused me:
"It's Troegs. It's imported"
"Do you have any, you know... regular beer?"
"Oh, good - You finally got some decent beer." (It was red stripe. I swear I'm heading for divorce.)

And my favorite:
"Beer yeast only gets you up to 4 or 5% alcohol. See, when you ferment wine you use wine yeast and it gets it up to 14 or 15%. Well, that's what we accidentally used on this batch we made up over in Iraq. My wife sent me the packets, and we boiled it up with a few gallons of near-beer and had a huge party. Everyone was drunk off their ass."

Sometimes I wonder about people...

MrNate said:

And my favorite:
"Beer yeast only gets you up to 4 or 5% alcohol. See, when you ferment wine you use wine yeast and it gets it up to 14 or 15%. Well, that's what we accidentally used on this batch we made up over in Iraq. My wife sent me the packets, and we boiled it up with a few gallons of near-beer and had a huge party. Everyone was drunk off their ass."

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That's awesome. Did you comment or just smile and nod?

me--here try this

them--it wont make me go blind will it?

me--no.

them--this tastes too strong

me--thats called hops

them--you used too many.

me--mmmm.ok. theres miller high life in the fridge.

This is the line of conversation I have with everyone that tries my brews, except SWMBO. It's always followed by them either trying to convince me to brew something like a BMC or them reassuring me that my beer will get "better" the more I make.

rdwj said:

That's awesome. Did you comment or just smile and nod?

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I've perfected a look that I now use in these situations. I kind of scrunch up my face a little like I'm interested in what the person is saying and thinking real hard about that and not how closely related their parents are.

Then I sort of do a slow little nod, like I see the wisdom in what they're saying and not wondering how they manage to get dressed by themselves every morning without their underwear ending up on the outside like a retarded superhero.

Thank god for alcohol.

Friend after trying dry irish stout-

Her:It has a weird after taste, what is that?
Me:Secret ingredient...
Her:Taste kind of nutty..

MrNate said:

I've perfected a look that I now use in these situations. I kind of scrunch up my face a little like I'm interested in what the person is saying and thinking real hard about that and not how closely related their parents are.

Then I sort of do a slow little nod, like I see the wisdom in what they're saying and not wondering how they manage to get dressed by themselves every morning without their underwear ending up on the outside like a retarded superhero.

Thank god for alcohol.

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The thing I love is that almost every detail in the story is wrong. You could have gone on for an hour.

rdwj said:

The thing I love is that almost every detail in the story is wrong. You could have gone on for an hour.

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I think my favorite is when everyone asks: Why's all your beer made with fruit?

rdwj said:

The thing I love is that almost every detail in the story is wrong. You could have gone on for an hour.

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I know, right? I started to say something, but I didn't know where to start. Then I realized I really didn't want to dedicate that much time to talking to this guy.

I hear tons of crap like this around here. Lots of old-world wine makers. Fermentation to them is an art and a mystery, a veritable modern-day miracle. Which is cool in and of itself, but I really don't like talking about beer making too much with them.

Not tasting related, but an otherwise stupid comment. My conversation with some girl at our summer BBQ in Ithaca.

me - "here, would you like to try my wheat beer? It has a nice citrus taste"

her - "oh, sorry, but I can't drink beer. I am a vegetarian.

me - "whaat??!!"

She looks at me like I have two heads, than says: "Ya, don't you know? Beer is made from fish!"

I hate Ithaca.

bierhaus15 said:

Not tasting related, but an otherwise stupid comment. My conversation with some girl at our summer BBQ in Ithaca.

me - "here, would you like to try my wheat beer? It has a nice citrus taste"

her - "oh, sorry, but I can't drink beer. I am a vegetarian.

me - "whaat??!!"

She looks at me like I have two heads, than says: "Ya, don't you know? Beer is made from fish!"

I hate Ithaca.

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Well some finings are made from fish bladders (isinglass) and if you clear with geletin then that's a beef product. So she's not necessarily off base.

Is she from GB. Isinglass is used quite a bit there.

Beer for Vegetarians and Vegans - BeerAdvocate

Beer for vegetarians and vegans? What? But beer only has water, malt, hops and yeast in it?" Wrong. Beer (and cider & wine) has everything from:

#


# albumin: derived from eggs or dried blood
# casein/caseinate: derived from milk
# charcoal: sometimes derived from bone
# colourings: sometimes derived from insects
# glyceryl monostearate: an anti-foaming agent that sometimes is an animal derivative
# isinglass: swim bladders from fish
# lactose and lactobacillus (lactic acid)
# gelatin: made from bones, skins and tendons
# pepsin: a heading agent sometimes derived from pork
# sugar: white sugar is often whitened using bone charcoal

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Yea I told her isinglass and gelatin is sometimes used to clear beer, but no, she just thought that the main ingredient in beer was made from fish, as in tuna. Probably read about the use of isinglass somewhere and got confused. Funny none the less.

damn, ollllo, you're really holding on to that sig. what has it been, a year now?