Recent dads (and moms): any last minute advice?

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_JP_

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Our first baby is scheduled to be delivered Friday morning (induced labor - Doctor's decision; wife has a very small frame; was 100lbs 5'0" before all this).

11-11-11 is a cool birthday, and only 5 days before her presumed due date. Stone's got an Epic brew for that day, I'll have to get my hands on some of it.

I bought a nice camcorder (don't know if I'll use it), and am packing my bags for the overnight stay tonight.

Nursery is ready. Crib's assembled. Car seat is installed.

I made a barleywine on my birthday 5 months ago for his arrival, and have the bottles in the fridge. Instead of a champagne toast, figured we'd do the beer thing. Wife's a big beer lover and of the foods she's had to abstain from, misses homebrew the most. We even formulated/brewed a special batch together ("Imperial" smoked Porter using our 1st year hops) and is on tap now for when she comes home.

Everyone says I should be nervous, but I'm not. Wife's doing great also (in fact, she's at work today and making sales calls driving around Atlanta).

Any last minute tips? Anything you weren't prepared for? Want to tell me Relax, don't worry....?
 
My advice:

Do Not Blink! you will miss something!

Learn to nap when the baby naps, otherwise you will be tired for a few months.
 
Baby boy born on 10/11... Sleep as much as you can, go see movie in the theater, and get ready for mayhem.
 
Congrats, and best of luck! sounds like you are in good shape. One of the things I find funny (after having been through it with 2 kids (now 6 and 4) is that people dwell on the actual birth process (classes, books, "birth plans") when in reality it is the one point in raising a child that you are surrounded by experts that have studied their whole professional lives on what to do should anything go wrong. I always tell people spend your time focusing on what comes next...when you are home alone and aren't surrounded by experts. Every baby is different...some are good sleepers, some are not (my kids both only would get up once a night, and at the 7 week mark started (and kept) sleeping through the night. There are times that babies can be frustrating (like when they are screaming at 3 AM for apparently no reason (listen to the Samuel L. Jackson reading of the kids book "Go the **** to Sleep" for some insight). just remember that it is nothing personal against you, and stay calm.

Most of all, enjoy it all. Every phase and milestone passes too quickly, and each one (that I have personally experienced so far) is even better than the last. Kids grow up in the blink of an eye (I sound like an old person).

Best of luck!
 
If you end up taking them, don't show the gory pictures & videos to all your coworkers and friends. Nobody wants to see the wife's hoo hoo in that condition.
 
Take a DVD player, radio/mp3 player, games and other stuff to keep you busy before the kid is born. Induction isn't some magic button that says "make baby come out now".

There is nothing wrong with letting them take the baby to the nursery at night so you guys can rest. They will come wake you for feedings and stuff.
 
Being a parent is the coolest thing in the whole world. Yes, cooler than homebrewing.

Enjoy it. And it's not hard - love your wife, love your kid and you'll do great. And give your spouse extra grace when you're exhausted.

This is my first post - been lurking for months, but I couldn't resist registering just to reply to your post. Parenthood ROCKS. I'd never go back.

Cheers!

(PS, it'll be a while before your baby can try your homebrew. It's ok.)
 
... There are times that babies can be frustrating (like when they are screaming at 3 AM for apparently no reason (listen to the Samuel L. Jackson reading of the kids book "Go the **** to Sleep" for some insight). ...

THAT^^^ made me laugh out loud - never heard of it before... I'll have to find it somewhere.

[thinking of Dave Chapelle doing his Samuel L Jackson impersonation on the "Samuel Jackson" beer skit]
 
...Cheers!

(PS, it'll be a while before your baby can try your homebrew. It's ok.)

I read a post here a few months ago about brewing a big beer at 1st b'day to save for the kid's 21st birthday. Seems like it's been done before - they called it a "Doble-Doble" where the runnings from the first batch of grain are used as the liquor for a second, fresh batch of grain, which makes a real high gravity brew.

The barleywine I made this time around I'm planning on keeping at least until his 5th birthday.
 
My thoughts:

Labor can be bloody....like "Saving Private Ryan" bloody.

During recovery, Let them take the tyke to the nursery and get some sleep. Nobody will be around to bail you out when you get home! Enjoy it while you can.

Beware the "Lactation Nazis"--they'll be the nurses stopping by your room telling you that if you aren't breastfeeding 100% of the time you are making the baby stupid through malnutrition. Fact is there is little to no evidence that BF is better than formula.

Do what works for you guys regardless if it is 100% BF, 100% formula, a mix, start out 100% BF then switch to formula, etc., etc.

Lastly, breastfeeding isn't as natural as they would have you believe. Mom doesn't know how to do it, baby doesn't know how to do, both want to make it happen. Dad is frustrated because he can help and fix the situation. Get used to that feeling!

Oh yeah, the first six months suck...nobody is sleeping, routines are all out of whack, nobody knows what is going on, new things are happening., etc., etc....interacting with the baby is pretty boring (basically oscillating between eating, sleeping, and pooping). After 6 months, things get much more interesting for everyone...

Good luck...its a blast!
 
Lots of great advice.

Don't worry about how you'll do. There will be lots of questions and with a little common sense you will do fine.

Try to get as much sleep here and there as you can. Take nap shifts with the other. Convince her that it's ok to let a trusted person watch the baby for a couple of hours while you get some personal time to yourselves. The kid will be fine.

Remember that they are just a baby and don't mean to make you mad or drive you crazy with the crying. And just because they are crying doesn't necessarily mean they need you there to take care of them. (tough love)

Most of all, RDWHAHB!
 
Labor can be bloody....like "Saving Private Ryan" bloody.

and smelly...


Lastly, breastfeeding isn't as natural as they would have you believe. Mom doesn't know how to do it, baby doesn't know how to do, both want to make it happen. Dad is frustrated because he can help and fix the situation. Get used to that feeling!

yeah, no kidding! for us it seemed like it was just assumed that breastfeeding would just "happen". that was the most stressful part of it all, hands down.

the strangest part was when we finally got home, sitting in our living room, and this baby is just sleeping away in my wife's arms. we look at each other and go...."well, wtf do we do now??" that's when everything really hit me.
 
My little girl Lillian was born 10/2/11.

1) Your wife is going to cry about nothing in particular for the first few days.
She came upstairs on day four and asked if we had coffee, I told her the pot was empty but that I'd make some more. She began to cry.

2) Your wife is going to laugh about nothing in particular for the first few days.
I bought her a bacon cheeseburger on day two. When it arrived, it had an extra long piece of bacon that stuck out the side. She laughed for five minutes about this.

3) Keep your house as noisy as it was before.
You can’t maintain a perfect still silence forever and in the beginning the kid sleeps all the time anyhow. Get them used to the noise of life.

4) Don’t let the crying stress you out. Your baby cries out of boredom, being a bit hungry, wanting to be rolled over, and because she is about to fall asleep. It’s normal and your child isn’t suffering.

5) Don’t panic.

6) Calm back down after failing to achieve No. 5.

7) RDWHAHB

*Edit 8) Your wife is going to freak out about the breastfeeding, scheduling and everything else. Make it your mission to help her relax about the various trials. Be a calming force for her.
 
You only get a few opportunities to get the placenta you will need to brew a placenta beer so remember to save it. https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/placental-beer-241288/

Ok, seriously- enjoy everything you can, sleep when you can, and before they can crawl around take advantage of that time to brew a good bit, go out and enjoy life. There will be a period after they start walking that going anywhere becomes increasingly difficult. Once they get around 3 it starts getting better again... At least that is my experience.. my kids just turned 3 in Oct. And like everyone says- pay attention and enjoy every moment with them while they are little, they grow so fast.
 
Be prepared to not be prepared.

Roll with it.

Let the little things go and concentrate on what really matters.

Enjoy.

Know when to walk away. Walking out of a room with a screaming baby in the crib is better than a shaken baby. It doesn't make you a bad parent to walk away.

Pictures.

Naps when possible.

Remember the crying is just his way of talking. It's all they can do and there isn't always something you'll be able to do to stop it.

And again, Enjoy! Congrats.

And I second manoaction's #3. Do not cater to the baby as far as noise. If you tip toe around him sleeping in the beginning, you'll tip toe around him sleeping always. They will get used to the environment. Remember they've been hearing your life and all its sounds for several months and been sleeping just fine.
 
THAT^^^ made me laugh out loud - never heard of it before... I'll have to find it somewhere.

[thinking of Dave Chapelle doing his Samuel L Jackson impersonation on the "Samuel Jackson" beer skit]

[ame="http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6536596/samuel-l-jackson-reads-go-the-f-to-sleep"]http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6536596/samuel-l-jackson-reads-go-the-f-to-sleep[/ame]
 
Car seat is installed.

I remember my buddy's first kid being born, I was with him outside the birthing center at 4AM trying to help him get his carseat installed... good idea to get that done early, its like step one on your way home: Secure the baby!
 
Wow, some good and realistic advice here. It gives me hope.

Just remember, you will make mistakes. Someday, somewhere, you will do or say something that, in the eyes of someone, will make you a "bad" parent. Not being perfect doesn't make you a bad parent, but it does tend to make others judgemental.
 
Wow, some good and realistic advice here. It gives me hope.

Just remember, you will make mistakes. Someday, somewhere, you will do or say something that, in the eyes of someone, will make you a "bad" parent. Not being perfect doesn't make you a bad parent, but it does tend to make others judgemental.

We all make mistakes, my mothers advice for me when we adopted a newborn?

"Your only real job as a parent is to make sure your child survives the day, this gets MUCH harder once they are mobile."

The rest is just details.
 
Wow, I'm inspired by how much good advice there is in this thread. It far exceeds the ratio usually present regarding brewing topics :ban:


Tell the nurses to take the baby to the nursery often so your wife can sleep a bit. There is nothing like coming home after all that excitement (and no sleep) and then not sleeping some more. The first week home makes you feel like your life has been rebooted.
 
Wow, I'm inspired by how much good advice there is in this thread. It far exceeds the ratio usually present regarding brewing topics :ban:


Tell the nurses to take the baby to the nursery often so your wife can sleep a bit. There is nothing like coming home after all that excitement (and no sleep) and then not sleeping some more. The first week home makes you feel like your life has been rebooted.

Flipped upside down first, THEN rebooted. :D
 
As a father of 2 someone told me don't be afraid if u don't love ur kid right away. And I thought that was a horrible thought and thought my buddy was a pos father. But guess what when my daughter was first born I didn't love her I thought she was cool but not love. It took me about 6 weeks for it to hit me I remember the day I loved her I was holding her and she gave me this look like I need u for everything. And my heart sank and I knew at that point she loved me and I loved her. Congrats Chopps
 
As a father of 2 someone told me don't be afraid if u don't love ur kid right away. And I thought that was a horrible thought and thought my buddy was a pos father. But guess what when my daughter was first born I didn't love her I thought she was cool but not love. It took me about 6 weeks for it to hit me I remember the day I loved her I was holding her and she gave me this look like I need u for everything. And my heart sank and I knew at that point she loved me and I loved her. Congrats Chopps

I remember having that moment. overwhelming point in my life.
 
Be prepared for the baby to act different when you get home. The first few days in the hospital they are tired from their journey and mostly just eat and sleep. After 3rd day so they can begin the apparent constant crying for no apparent reason.... Yes it's the same baby :)
 
Be prepared for the baby to act different when you get home. The first few days in the hospital they are tired from their journey and mostly just eat and sleep. After 3rd day so they can begin the apparent constant crying for no apparent reason.... Yes it's the same baby :)

Yup...My first slept 12-14 hours a day and didn't cry for anything. My second slept about 5 hours a night with a scream fit in between and screamed his head off several hours a day for the first 6 months of his life! Good luck...
 
Sleep now,
Make large meals with plenty of left overs.
Start a 529
Don't hesitate to hire a lactation consultant
Watch for post partum depression-nothing has scared me like this
 
Watch for post partum depression-nothing has scared me like this

Excellent advice. You can't understand how insane a normally sane person can become during or after pregnancy! My wife had something similar throughout her first pregnancy. It started at the beginning of the second trimester and was awful, like suddenly being married to a manic depressive nut case. She seriously wanted a divorce because I didn't fold a load of laundry. She cried every day. The day she gave birth the switch got flipped back and she was instantly back to normal.
 
Excellent advice. You can't understand how insane a normally sane person can become during or after pregnancy! My wife had something similar throughout her first pregnancy. It started at the beginning of the second trimester and was awful, like suddenly being married to a manic depressive nut case. She seriously wanted a divorce because I didn't fold a load of laundry. She cried every day. The day she gave birth the switch got flipped back and she was instantly back to normal.


Wait sec bud. They are supposed to go back to normal? I think I need a refund.


Oh, I thought of another one. If you go to bottle feeding pretty quickly and the baby is constantly projectile vomiting it back at you, you didn't burp the kid often enough. Two of my kids needed a burp break after every ounce and once we figured that out, not a single puke ever.
 
I'll second the noise level - if you keep it real quiet for a couple months, expect that to stretch into a couple years.

Decide who's waking up for feeding (once you switch to formula or your wife pumps enough to last the night) BEFORE you go to bed. And even if you're working and she's staying home, you need to shoulder just as many nights as she does.

Get a week or two worth of easy-cook meals together. You're going to be too busy while the baby's up fretting over her to cook, and when she's sleeping, you need to do the same thing.

You may find yourself up at 4:00 in the morning, baby crying, won't sleep, already ate/burped/pooped/peed and you need to be up for work in half an hour. At this point, you may become immensely frustrated and need to break your pre-determined overnight arrangement and lay the kid on your wife for a minute so you can get your head together. When and if this happens, remember that she may need to do it once or twice, too.

Take pictures.

Lots, and lots of pictures. Preferably video, too. The whole baby thing goes by REAL fast.
 
Wait sec bud. They are supposed to go back to normal? I think I need a refund.

Normal is relative...

Oh and baby anuses are like shotguns with a random trigger...be careful when changing diapers. It could end up in your face or on the wall.
 
Great advice ! Our second is to be delivered via c-section at 8am on 11-11-11 !! I should probably get the car seat in the car, the good news is my son loves to help (3yo) ! I can't wait to find out the sex, although I've been on team pink since day one, and see the interaction between my son and new baby.. It's about to get a lot more interesting around here, all the grandparents etc are arriving tomorrow afternoon ! :)
 
seabass07 said:
Oh and baby anuses are like shotguns with a random trigger...be careful when changing diapers. It could end up in your face or on the wall.

seabass isn't kidding. My firstborn detonated on me during a diaper change and got half of the changing table, my desk next to the changing table and the lamp on the desk as well as the wall next to the desk.

This is when I figured out why God made little ones so cute. It keeps us from killing them. My baby pooped all over the room and I laughed and cleaned everything up, no anger at all.
 
Fricken excellent thread! This is what the homebrew community is all about. I'm proud to be part of it.

My advice is to not pay too much attention to all the doctors & charts that say your kid should be doing something at such & such time/age. All the kids develop differently on their own schedule. Some walk at 4 months, others at 2 years. etc.
 
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